The Mystery of Christ in You

I’ve been doing some reading in Colossians as of late and God is moving and revealing Himself to me in some different ways. I was struck by something in the text.

Col 1:13-19 For He has delivered us from the power of darkness and has translated us into the kingdom of His dear Son; in whom we have redemption through His blood, the remission of sins. Who is the image of the invisible God, the First-born of all creation. For all things were created in Him, the things in the heavens, and the things on the earth, the visible and the invisible, whether thrones or dominions or principalities or powers, all things were created through Him and for Him. And He is before all things, and by Him all things consist. And He is the Head of the body, the church, who is the Beginning, the First-born from the dead, that He may be pre-eminent in all things. For it pleased the Father that in Him all fullness should dwell.

Reread this passage and notice how Paul keeps saying “all” in the text. Paul is saying that he is our center, our context, our core, our essence, our beginning and our end. . . our everything. He really doesn’t leave anything out, does he? Life for the Christian is found IN HIM. . .and just a few verses later, Paul states that the mystery of this whole deal is that He is IN US!

Col 1:26-27 the mystery which has been hidden from ages and from generations, but now has been revealed to His saints. For to them God would make known what are the riches of the glory of this mystery among the nations, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory. . .

That is good news! The One who is All In All lives in us! This is why we don’t need more of God, we need less of everything else. Recognizing His working in us, resting in the love he puts in us, cooperating as He is changing us into His image, letting everything we do spring from our union with Him, allowing His power to flow through us, ridding ourselves of those things that diminish Him in our eyes, and embracing those things that magnify Him in our eyes. . .this is the Christian life.

Now I have known that God's Spirit lives in me for a long time. But living in that reality is a totally different story. . . and the journey goes on. . .

Universalism

I’ve been giving some thought to the doctrine of Universalism that some of my brothers in Christ are espousing. I decided to work out a few of the issues that I have in my flawed writing. Now, if you know me at all, you will know I am not a preacher of “hellfire and damnation” (in fact, I’m not a preacher at all). In fact, I think the typical Christian’s concept of hell is probably less than Biblical. While I believe that contemporary Christians have a diminished view of God’s love, I cannot accept Universalism as a natural consequence of that love.

Do I believe that God is love? Yep. Do I believe that necessarily limits God to being only love? No. Do I believe that I can even begin to understand the type of love that God is? Not really. I think there is a tendency to limit God’s essence to a type of love that my limited human mind can grasp.

The main issue that I have with the doctrine of Universalism is that it strips the Gospel of it’s relational and incarnational aspects. My understanding of the Universalist view is that the redeems all of mankind without mankind’s consent. In other words, God forces His love on mankind. In Fowler’s words:

Any mechanical understanding of God’s love as a unilateral force deterministically and omnipotently imposed upon man by the “will of God” does violence to a proper understanding of God’s love. Relational love cannot be forced or coerced. On a human level this is called “rape,” and on the divine level such a unilateral determination to coerce man to participate in God’s love does violence to the genuine faith-love relationship that God intends by a freely chosen response and willingness of man to be intimately involved with Himself. Such a personal faith-love relationship is what God intended when He Self-limited His own sovereign omnipotence in order to grant man a genuine “freedom of choice” that allows a freely chosen relational participation in the inner love relations of the Trinity.

He does not force His love on those that would like nothing to do with it. Without choice there is no faith-love relationship. In human terms, there is rape. God is not a rapist.

Fowler points out that “freedom of choice” is not the same as free-will. God is the only being with absolute free-will. He may choose to do what He wishes and is not bound by any single or primary character trait. Humans, on the other hand, have been granted freedom of choice which allows us “freely chosen relational participation in the inner love relations of the Trinity.” Additionally, Adam and Eve were created as “choosing creatures” it does not make sense to me that God would heal the damage of sin by forcing Himself upon us.

Universalism poses other problems when the relational context of the Gospel is taken into account. Jesus made it clear that he came to set us free to be fully human by allowing God to function through us for His glory. If Christianity were merely a religion, a set of defined rules and regulations, I could more easily buy Universalism, but it is not. If Jesus merely fulfilled a legal obligation on the cross to redeem humanity, I could more easily buy Universalism, but He did not. Christianity is relational at its core.

Salvation is Christ! Salvation is Jesus the Savior manifesting His life in a receptive individual. Christ in us is the hope of glory according to Col. 1:27! In Col. 3:4 Paul tells us that Christ is our life! 1Jo 5:11-12 tells us that “God has given to us everlasting life, and this life is in His Son. He who has the Son has life; he who does not have the Son of God does not have life.”

It is not just what Christ accomplished for us on the cross. Universalism allows for salvation outside of relationship. The Gospel is reduced to a satisfaction of a legal requirement that allows “all” people entrance into the presence of God, whether they desire it or not, and Jesus is reduced to a “get out of hell free card” that is jammed down humanity’s throat.

Some might say that our “freedom of choice” makes God appear weak, and that the Gospel now depends on our “works” to be effective. I disagree. A gift does not lose its worth if it is not accepted. Jesus did the work on the cross, accepting that work does not in any way diminish the efficacy or the beauty of the sacrifice.

Yes, God is reconciling “all things” to Himself.

Col 1:20 And through Him having made peace through the blood of His cross, it pleased the Father to reconcile all things to Himself through Him, whether the things on earth or the things in Heaven.

Wait a minute! Don’t stop there! Let’s keep reading!

Col 1:21-23 And you, who were once alienated and enemies in your mind by wicked works, yet now He has reconciled in the body of His flesh through death, to present you holy and without blemish, and without charge in His sight, if indeed you continue in the faith grounded and settled, and are not moved away from the hope of the gospel, which you have heard and which was proclaimed in all the creation under Heaven, of which I, Paul, became a minister...

Hmmm....”if”.....

2Co 5:17-21 So that if any one is in Christ, that one is a new creature; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. And all things are of God, who has reconciled us to Himself through Jesus Christ, and has given to us the ministry of reconciliation; whereas God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not imputing their trespasses to them, and putting the word of reconciliation in us. Then we are ambassadors on behalf of Christ, as God exhorting through us, we beseech you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. For He has made Him who knew no sin, to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.

Why would Paul say “if anyone is in Christ” that they are a new creature? If the world has been reconciled then everyone should be a new creature. Why would Paul say that Christ has reconciled us in the past tense, then plead with the Corinthians to be reconciled? Maybe it is because God never changes, and we are the ones who must change by responding to God’s overture of love toward us?

The Good News is that salvation is available to all those who desire it in the person of Jesus Christ! Unfortunately, not everyone desires Him, and God will not force Himself on them.

Again, I'm sure my humble attempt at understanding this stuff is flawed. Just trying to figure it out with my limited intellect. . .

A.W. Tozer from "The Pursuit of God"

I want deliberately to encourage this mighty longing after God. The lack of it has brought us to our present low estate. The stiff and wooden quality about our religious lives is a result of our lack of holy desire. Complacency is a deadly foe of all spiritual growth. Acute desire must be present or there will be no manifestation of Christ to His people. He waits to be wanted. Too bad that with many of us He waits so long, so very long, in vain.

Every age has its own characteristics. Right now we are in an age of religious complexity. The simplicity which is in Christ is rarely found among us. In its stead are programs, methods, organizations and a world of nervous activities which occupy time and attention but can never satisfy the longing of the heart. The shallowness of our inner experience, the hollowness of our worship, and that servile imitation of the world which marks our promotional methods all testify that we, in this day, know God only imperfectly, and the peace of God scarcely at all.

If we would find God amid all the religious externals we must first determine to find Him, and then proceed in the way of simplicity. Now as always God discovers Himself to "babes" and hides Himself in thick darkness from the wise and the prudent. We must simplify our approach to Him. We must strip down to essentials (and they will be found to be blessedly few). We must put away all effort to impress, and come with the guileless candor of childhood. If we do this, without doubt God will quickly respond.

When religion has said its last word, there is little that we need other than God Himself. The evil habit of seeking God-and effectively prevents us from finding God in full revelation. In the "and" lies our great woe. If we omit the "and" we shall soon find God, and in Him we shall find that for which we have all our lives been secretly longing.

We need not fear that in seeking God only we may narrow our lives or restrict the motions of our expanding hearts. The opposite is true. We can well afford to make God our All, to concentrate, to sacrifice the many for the One.

Will the Emerging Church Fully Emerge?

I happened across this article on Eddie’s site the other day. I remember starting on this journey about 5-years ago and coming across Present Testimony Ministry and not understanding where they were coming from. Times have changed…

I would like to make a few comments about the article entitled “Will the Emerging Church Fully Emerge?”. Let me say a few things upfront. When I first heard of the concept of the “emerging church” I was intrigued. I knew that my church experience was missing something and I am not one that is afraid to try new things. I was drawn to the concept of “house church”, missional Christianity, and the emphasis put on community. Yet, I have hesitated to call myself part of the “emerging conversation” for several reasons. I think it is time to flesh some of them out, and I’d like to use Frank Viola’s article as a starting point.

That said, I think that Frank has a fairly limited definition of what he considers an “emerging church” and I really don’t want to get caught up in all the fuzzy language that comes into play when trying to define what this emerging thing is. So if the shoe doesn’t fit, don’t put it on. I think the principles still apply. Please take some time and read the article. My comments are based on it, and you may misunderstand what I’m saying if you don’t read it first.

Frank applauds much of what the emerging church stands for, but I think his critiques are valid based on the many conversations and blogs that I participate in. I’m not going to address them all.

While the emerging church phenomenon has placed a much needed emphasis on the Jesus of the Gospels, it has focused on imitating His outward conduct instead of exploring His internal relationship with an indwelling God which was the source of His conduct.

I don’t know exactly who are what Viola is critiquing here, but I agree that this always a danger. Let me say that I think one example is the emphasis that many emerging leaders put on liturgy. I was raised in the church. I haven’t experienced a whole lot of high-church, so I really don’t relate a whole lot to whole liturgy thing. I understand it is supposed to form us by forcing us to read through various portions of Scripture on a regular basis. I’ve tried it. I’ve even tried to enjoy it. I’ve tried to convince myself that it was good for me. I wanted to be like my emerging brothers and sisters who claim it connects them to Christ. I felt out of place and awkward because it just doesn’t work for me. I don’t buy the garbage that “we don’t know what is forming us” either. I know what connects me to Christ. I know what magnifies Christ in my eyes.

I think the issue is that an exploration of our internal relationship with Christ can express itself in a hundred different ways outwardly. It seems like that was one of our critiques of the modern church: One size fits all worship. Do it our way or no way. I fail to see how forcing a group of people to follow a liturgy is respectful of the myriad of ways that Christ expresses Himself in us and transforms us into His likeness.

The emerging church phenomenon has wonderfully articulated some of the major flaws of the modern church, yet like all of its predecessors, it has failed to identify and take dead aim at one of the chief roots of most of its ills. Namely, the modern pastoral office.

Frank points out that the modern concept of the pastoral office, and role of pastor, is fraught with issues.

My experience in this country and overseas over the last seventeen years has yielded one immovable conclusion: God’s people can engage in high-talk about community life, Body functioning, and Body life, but unless the modern pastoral role is utterly abandoned in a given church, God’s people will never be unleashed to function in freedom under the Headship of Jesus Christ. . . The reason is that the flaws of the modern pastoral role are actually built into the role itself.

Now we get to some meat and potatoes. The role of the pastor, and leadership in general, is talked about a lot in the emerging church scene. We seem to be very concerned about our role in the leadership of our churches. We talk about leading from “along side” instead in “the front.” We try to define the role of a pastor in such a way that avoids any appearance of the power-hungry people that many of us have served under in our institutional experiences. We go to great lengths to avoid any appearance of power or control.

I have wondered if the issue really isn’t how we define, or execute the role and office of pastor at all. Maybe we are still defining the role of pastor based on our modern assumptions and putting way to much emphasis on the function. Why is there so much discussion about OUR role as leaders, when it is really Jesus who is The Leader? How many discussions are having about the Headship of Christ? About how to help our friends know, see, hear and follow Jesus?

I’ll confess. I like to be needed. I like to feel like I am helping others. I like to feel like I am contributing to the spiritual health of my friends. The problem is that most of our friends are conditioned by modern assumptions what it means to “do church” too. They are very likely to rely on the pastor, no matter what the context, instead of the leading of Jesus.

Frank says, For the last seventeen years, I have been gathering with Christians outside the organized church. Without exception, all of the groups that I have gathered with or have worked with personally have known the pains and joys of community life in bed-rock reality, they have all had consistent meetings under the Lord’s Headship without a leader or facilitator, they have made decisions together, and they have solved their own problems . . . all without a pastor, or a group of selected men to rule them, and without a song leader or worship team.”

Is this possible? Groups of people dealing with pains and joys of community life, meeting consistently, making decisions, solving problems. . .all without a pastor? I think it is if we are putting Person of Jesus Christ at the center of all we do, and let him run the church as He sees fit.

Additionally, I don't think we are doing those we lead any favors by calling ourselves pastors. Read this article to find out some more information about church history and role and office of pastors. Warning! You may never look at your pastor the same. . .

The emerging church phenomenon, like all preceding reform/renewal movements, has emphasized a bundle of Christian “its” and “things,” instead of the Person of Jesus Christ.

In my opinion, if we were to examine the broad canvas of Christian movements and denominations throughout church history, we would discover that each one paints with a very fine brush. For one movement, the brush is evangelism. For another, it is social justice and acts of mercy. For another, it is praise and worship. For another, it is Bible study and doctrinal/theological accuracy. For another, it is the power of God, the gifts of the Spirit, signs and wonders. For another, it is changing the political system. For another, it is spiritual warfare and intercessory prayer. For another, it is personal prophecy. For still another, it is end-time theology (eschatology). And on and on it goes. All of these brushes represent Christian “things.” And they are just that . . . “things.” They are Christian “its.” Subjects about the Lord with which to become engaged, at best. Or with which to become obsessed, at worst.

This hits the nail on the head for me. I think Viola says something to those on the emerging journey that expresses what I’ve felt. For all the talk about community, community is not Christ. For all the talk about leadership, our leaders are not Christ. For all the talk about Postmodernism, it is not Christ. For all the talk about liturgy, liturgy is not Christ. For all the talk about our “contexts”, they are merely the expression of a group of individuals filled with Christ. Without Christ, our context means nothing.

My own critique inserted here is that we are much more likely to quote McLaren and Nouwen then we are Jesus. If you don’t believe me check your blogs.

In conclusion, I guess I don’t consider myself “emerging”. I think some of the people that consider themselves leaders in the emerging church are awesome people on a deep journey with God. But, I don’t care for some of the forms, rituals and obligations that those leaders espouse. The expression of the fullness of Christ that resides in me can express itself in any number of ways and I refuse to limit it by slapping a label on it. I am a Christ-follower. Plain and simple.

If some of this is incoherent, I apologize. Much was written at work in the middle of the night.... I look forward to wrestling through these issues. . .

Prayer and Presence

Our gathering of misfits watched The Passion together last night. I was not really looking forward to it, but I think that our hearts were stirred as we took communion together immediately following the movie. Watching the movie from a perspective of what Jesus went through to break the power of sin out of his great love for us is quite different than watching it from the perspective of appeasement of God's wrath toward humanity. Did that make sense? If not, read He Loves Me by Wayne Jacobsen. He explains it far better than I. . .

I've been putting some thought into our journey recently. It's been a little while since we have been "unhooked from the Matrix." We are moving on from being critical of the Institutional Church to learning how to live the way that God has called us to: loved by Him, loving Him, and loving others, and letting the rest work itself out.

I need to confess that there are some things that left bad tastes in my mouth about organized religion that have caused me to react in ways that may not be positive. I think one example is prayer. I have been turned off by some of my charismatic brothers and sisters that over spiritualize every little thing in life and turn any difficulty into and attack by Satan. I have participated in praying for the sick that never got healed. I have prayed for and against circumstances that never worked out the way we were praying. (Looking back, there were many reasons why those prayers weren't answered. Don't want to go into it now.) So, I figured, screw it! I'll pray for the basics: God's will etc. But, I need to confess that I stopped praying with passion. I stopped praying with eager expectation. I was really paying God lip-service. . . and I thought this was part of my new journey.

As I begin to understand and live in the love God has for me I am learning to discern God's will in prayer. There is a spiritual realm where there is a battle going on, and prayer does affect it. I am asking God what He is doing. How does he want me to pray in certain situations? I am not taking for granted that God wants to heal somebody, or make a certain situations benefit my, or someone else's, self-interest.

God is active in His creation for the purpose of our redemption. He wants to transform humanity into His image and make us whole. He wants to see us free from sin. Can I pray those things for myself, for my friends and family, for my town, and eagerly expect God to answer? I think so. . .

If God is present in us, can we expect His power to flow through us? In the Naked Church, Wayne Jacobsen says, "We are a generation mostly won to Christ through the persuasion of orators, not the power of God's presence. Paul warned us that such people would have the inclination to put their trust in man's wisdom instead of God's power." What I get from that is talk is cheap. Intimacy is linked to God's power. So many people we come into contact with need the healing presence of Jesus. I have begun to see the fruit of God's presence in my life and His power flowing through me as people are being changed. I hope to see more as I continue to grow closer to Him. . .

For those of our friends and family that would like to better understand this journey that God has us on take a listen to The God Journey. Wayne Jacobsen has been very influential in our journey and has a very loving way of explaining some of issues that we find important in living the life of God....

During some conversations with some brothers on a different blog I have really given some thought to our interpretation of the Bible. Especially the influence that bias and presuppositions have on our interpretation. I am no theology Nazi and I hold my interpretations fairly loosely. I have had to many experiences where I have found out my interpretations were flawed, or flat out BS.

For instance, when I first started following Jesus I was reading something like Mat 21:21

"Jesus answered and said to them, Truly I say to you, If you have faith and do not doubt, you shall not only do this miracle of the fig tree, but also; if you shall say to this mountain, Be moved and be thrown into the sea; it shall be done. "

I took this verse to mean that if we want to pray in effective ways that we MUST verbally speak our prayers. There were some other verses where Jesus says something similar, so I thought my interpretation was on strong grounds. . .until I told someone my interpretation. . .

We can look at the Bible through a hundred different lenses. If you are a music worship leader you will be able to find verses that make you think the core of the Bible is about worship. If you are passionate about helping the poor you will find enough verses for you to believe that the core of the Bible is about that. The bottom line is that our bias and presuppositions can drastically shape our interpretation of the Bible.

We really can't get rid of our bias and presuppositions. We are who we are. We were born in a certain nation, in a certain region, in a certain town. . . We all have had different religious experiences in different denominations. . . We all have had different family experiences, some healthy and some not so healthy. . .and all those circumstances influence how we read the Bible. For instance, isn't it interesting that European Christians typically don't believe in the rapture, yet it is a common belief among North American Christians?

Additionally, as we read the Bible we may be likely to give more weight to some parts of the Bible than others. We may choose to interpret the rest of the Bible through one our two verses that back up a certain position we hold. Our we may have certain beliefs about the nature of God that color our interpretations. Is God love? Is God just? Is He both?

So if we can't totally rid ourselves of bias and presupposition, how do we deal with them in order to move toward a better understanding of the Bible? I think the answer is to be self-critical of our bias and presuppositions. All of us have them. Most of the people that I discuss the Bible with are not even aware of them. Ignorance is bliss when it comes to presuppositions and bias. Once we realize that we have them we have to do the hard work of becoming aware as we read and interpret the text. We start asking questions like: Why do I interpret the text this way? What in my history biases me in this interpretation? What are the other possible interpretations? What were their presuppositions? If I change my presupposition can I see how it changes my interpretation? Am I willing to let others critique my interpretation? Am I willing to readdress my interpretation?

There are tons of other issues involved in this topic. The role of reason, sin, language, history etc. Understanding the Bible is a journey. As we gain knowledge, as we let God deal with and change our presuppositions, as we become conformed to God's image, as we interact and converse with others on this journey, we will gain a better understanding of the Bible and the story of God , of which we are part. . .

I wholeheartedly apologize for my blog silence as of late. I have been working two part time jobs and filling in for another guy at my night job, which turns it into a full-time job. They have Blogger blocked, so I can't post or comment on other peoples sites either. I am reading yours though...just can't respond....

We see God working his way with some people around us. It is cool to see some of our prayers being answered! Our desire for freedom is increasing...as is our desire to see other's healed and set free....lots of stories but so little time....

Here are a few of my uncensored "prophetic" thoughts:

The time for God to pour out his presence in Highland is beginning. We have had occasional cool drops of water poured on our parched tongues, but now God wants to reveal His river to us…ever-flowing, satisfying, refreshing, powerful…

The time for human devised plans is over. God wants us to seek His heart, not just for Highland Hope, but all of Highland. What are His plans? How can we cooperate? What is our part? The time for church growth principles and financial campaigns has past. It is time to move in the Spirit and activate our faith. It is time to activate the supernatural that flows from our dynamic relationship with Abba.

We must pray against the spirit of religiosity and legalism that has infected Highland for many years. This is a spiritual battle that must be overcome by prayer. It will not be easily or quickly overcome. The root is very deep. Freedom is at stake. Fear of man is at the core.

Churches are situated to get the results that they are currently getting. Embrace change with eager expectations of what God is doing. S T R E T C H !

God is bringing inner healing to many who have been “walking wounded”. Spiritual warfare, intercession, unity, reconciliation, prophecy etc. will be more effective as God heals the inner hurts in His bride. God is going to release gifts, birthed from His power, fueled by His love, for nothing other than the purpose of making His Bride healthy.

Movement

God has been at work in our little part of the world, not that he hasn’t been, but something different is happening. In my previous post, I mentioned my friend Rich. I am so blessed to have Rich for a friend. We have known each other since before either of us were Christ-followers, and it is amazing to see what God has done in our lives. Rich was blessed to find an awesome church family that has nourished his spirit, encouraged his spiritual gifts, and loved him into the presence of God.

Rich’s church is very charismatic. Most of the experiences that I’ve had with Charismatic churches have been uneasy at best. I’ve witnessed people so caught up in chasing religious experiences that it was like a drug. I’ve seen people do all kinds of crazy stuff in God’s name so I was skeptical when Rich started talking about what God was doing in his church. They have been helping people through sort through the crap in their lives and helping people get healed and set free by God. But the more we talked, the more it made sense. My background is with 12-step groups, so I’ve been through some of this stuff… Unfortunately, not many other Christians have….

Anyway, I was blessed to watch and assist several people deal with their past and lay it as the cross this week. People are getting free as they are dealing with unforgiveness, vows and judgements that have bound them for years. People in our little religious, legalistic town are tasting the freedom that only comes from having a relationship with God, and they want more. People are beginning to experience what we’ve only talked about until now. God is moving, and it is good….

I’ve got more to write, but no time at the moment...

I apologize for the silence on the blog front. There have been some awesome things happening around here though!

First, my friend Rich, has been visiting us from England. God's Spirit moves mightily in him and he is a great encourager. Rich has reminded me of the passion that I used to have for Jesus, and how it has wained in the past few years. He has also reminded me that I cannot just keep giving and giving without being encouraged and filled by Jesus and those who passionately follow Him. God is doing some good things around here....I am encouraged for the first time, in a long time...

More to come....

I've started my new part-time job. My body is not used to stayin up all night, so I promptly got sick which it made it that much more fun. Today both my daughters were sick so I got up and down all afternoon taking care of them and then overslept when it was time to pick my son up from school. Fun day! And it's not over 'cause it's back to work at 10pm.

I am glad to have some kind of job to get some money coming in though. I am going to focus on songwriting and recording, and giving music lessons in whatever spare time I have. Until I get done with training that won't be much... But this job is pretty gravy, I must admit. Out of eight hours there is probably two hours of actual work. The rest of the time is monitoring systems, which means it's pretty much free time. So they said I can bring my guitar to work....kinda cool...

Sometimes I wish God would be more specific and direct in his directions. This job will probably only last until August and then I will have to have to bring money some other way. My level of trust is much deeper than it ever has been, but it would occasionally be nice to know where I'm going a little in advance.....

Whining over.
Have a God-filled day!

Screwtape according to Wayne Jacobsen in "The Naked Church":

Sometime late in the third century Satan must have called a conclave. Hades I, he might have called it. Since persecution had failed so miserably, this diabolical council needed to develop a new strategy to undermine the life of the church. The solution it produced has done far more to render the church powerless than any persecution ever has.

The objectives were clear: The plan would have to diffuse the self-sacrificing love that carried the church through conflict, distract it from intimacy with God, and devalue the importance of the individual believer. And, since the church had already prevailed over direct assaults, the plan needed to be so deceptive that it could not be recognized as coming from hell.

A few suggestions were offered, but they were so weak that they didn't even invite discussion. After a painfully long silence, someone, perhaps Screwtape, cam up with a very simple idea: "Trying to keep it small hasn't worked-let's make it big!"

All the other devils gasped, thinking that old Screwtape had finally bolted his sanity. "Make it big? What do you think we've been working so hard to prevent?"

"Hear me out, colleagues. We can kill it with its own success. What would happen if the church suddenly became acceptable?"

"Lots of people would go to it, you idiot."

"But what would all those people do to it?" Screwtape replied with a smirk, then sat back as he watched their minds churn. One by one the others began to see the brilliance of the scheme.

"Many would come for social reasons. They would quickly dilute those who are really in God's clutches. And imagine all the programs and activities they would have to plan to keep those people happy. Nothing chokes out intimacy as well as busyness."

"A crowd like that would have opinions so diverse and disruptive that the power of the gospel would be compromised in just a few short years. The church would eventually become a machine, chewing up individuals instead of loving them. Programs would take over where personal ministries now flourish. And everyone knows how easy it is to kill a program."

"Hear! Hear!" they all yelled.

"They couldn't possibly teach all the followers to walk with God personally, so they would soon substitute rules and guidelines for his ever-present voice."

"The machine would have to be run by professionals. The others would become nothing more than spectators and bill-payers. And that leadership would waste most of its time tied up in administration, which we know benefits almost no one."

"Who would have time for individuals" They would have to try to disciple people by regulations, and the cracks in that are so wide we could go on vacation."

"And best of all," Screwtape spoke up again, "they wouldn't even know what happened to them. They would think themselves successful beyone their wildest dreams. They would be pillars in the community and stand before huge crowds. We would let them keep all their Christian terms, but we would substitute our own meanings. It's foolproof!"

"But size alone won't do that, Screwtape," Satan himself finally said. "They could still teach all those people what it really means to follow God and they could still love people one-by-one no matter how big they got."

"True, O Wicked One," Screwtape waggled his index finger, "but do you think they would? Do you think they would risk losing all those people or would resist the corruption that such power and influence would give them?"

Satan smiled in whatever ecstasy hell allows. "Of course not!" He slammed his fist on the table, "Let's do it!"

Righteous

God has a sense of humor. Not, my sense mind you... I have a part-time night job lined up doing computer operations. Just what I left when I went into "full-time ministry". Not all that thrilled about it, but I need to do something to make ends meet around here.

We are opening up for our friend Blue and her band Morning Vision tonight. If you are in the St. Louis area come on out!

I have been reading Wayne Jacobsen's "The Naked Church" for awhile now. I'm taking my time because I realize there are still some presuppositions about this journey that I need to unlearn. I've been particularly challenged by the concept of righteousness. I've always been under the assumptions that righteousness was something that I could attain with effort. God gives grace to get into to heaven, but I had to take care of things while I'm here on earth. Unfortunately, I am an absolute failure at maintaining righteousness. My failures either led to disappointment or anger with myself, because of my weakness, or with God, because he didn't give me the strength to resist the sin.

James 1:14-15 tells us that sin consists of two things: desire and opportunity. Unfortunately, I have been taught one of the many traps of dealing with sin. There are several ways that Christians deal with sin:

1. Bear the consequences of it, because salvation can't heal us from it.
2. Conquer it by sheer force of will.
3. Deny ourselves ANY sinful opportunity (become isolated from society and legalistic).
4. Allow Jesus to deal with our self-centered desires.

The first three deal with the opportunity, only the last deals with the core issue, our desires.

Wayne points out, and I think rightly so, that most followers of Jesus don't hunger for holiness today because they have misunderstood the process that brings it to them. We think holiness comes through gritted teeth. But, if righteousness comes as I learn to trust in God above my self-centered desires, then righteousness is a product my relationship with God, changing me from the inside out. It really has very little to do with me. As I trust in Jesus he changes me from the inside out, replacing MY desires with HIS.

So the basis of my righteousness is relationship. It is a gift from the Father, not something I can earn. Sin is a relationship breaker. It's not that it removes me from God's presence, it's that it keeps me from the deep, inner change that God desires as the result of trusting in my own desires over and above my Father's.

Trust, and live a righteous life...

Father, forgive me for I have sinned...it's been 2 weeks since my last post...

Yea, well I've been busy. I have refinished a hardwood floor (for someone who doesn't have a handy bone in his body this is no small feat) and it doesn't look to bad. Not as good as Vineyard Central's....but it was my first shot.

I have been working a demo of a song that Trish is going to give to Garth Brooks. I wrote a Christmas song a few years ago that gets rave reviews. Trish is going to a Dental conference where Garth is playing and set it up with the director to get it into Garth's hands.....I'm not holding my breath, but who knows...

I've also been writing some music again. Trish and I were asked to open up for Morning Vision at a fundraiser. I felt like God was wanting me to share where my heart is right now on this long journey.... Here is one of the offerings:

Love

I’ve tried my best to find you here
Where faith and reason seem to dissappear
If I could just believe
Beyond the suffering
Is Love....Your love

There’s something more than I can see
Beyond the senses, just out of reach
A holy mystery
Beyond theology
There’s love....Your love

I’ve tried to turn it
Into something I could earn
But I could never do enough
I could never do enough
I’m losing expectations
Trading obligations
For simple trust
Simple trust

There’s something more than I can see
Beyond the senses
Just out of reach
A holy mystery
Beyond theology
There’s love....Your love

Once again U2 is my favorite "worship" album... I love the double meaning in the chorus of this song.

All Because of You

I was born a child of grace
Nothing else about the place
Everything was ugly but your beautiful face
And it left me no illusion

I saw you in the curve of the moon
In the shadow cast across my room
You heard me in my tune
When I just heard confusion

All because of you
All because of you
All because of you
I am...I am

I like the sound of my own voice
I didn't give anyone else a choice
An intellectual tortoise
Racing with your bullet train

Some people get squashed crossing the tracks
Some people got high rises on their backs
I'm not broke but you can see the cracks
You can make me perfect again

All because of you
All because of you
All because of you
I am...I am

I'm alive
I'm being born
I just arrived, I'm at the door
Of the place I started out from
And I want back inside

All because of you
All because of you
All because of you
I am

St. Stanislaus

Since many of you don't live in St. Louis you may not be familiar with the controversy going on over a Polish Catholic Church here. St. Stanislaus was founded by Polish Catholics in 1891 and has controlled their own property and finances since that time. They have done quite well without being under the control of the Catholic hierarchy but, there is a new Archbishop in town (can you here the Spaghetti Western music?).... He has decided that St. Stanislaus needs to be controlled by the Catholic Church and needs to turn all of their money and assets over, a total of about $9.2 million.

Needless to say, the parishioners feel differently. The board has fought the archbishop, because he really can't force them to turn over the assets. So, what does he do? He pulls their priest. That's okay. The parishioners fly in their own priest to celebrate Christmas mass. Now what would any self-respecting, power hungry archbishop do to get this church under control? Oh yeah! Threaten to withhold the sacraments and essentially excommunicate them if they don't "see the error of their ways and come back into the fold of the Catholic church." Well, the members took a vote and decided overwhelmingly to thumb their nose at the archbishop. It will be interesting to see how this power-play works out...

Money, power and property. I just wonder if the parishioners are seeing that there are better ways to be the church? Unfortunately, probably not.

Read about it here and here.

Christian fellowship is so much more than polite conversation at a missionary tea or looking at the back of people's heads in the pews in front of you. Most people don't understand the differnce between true fellowship and attending church services, and that is tragic because these two things often have so little in common.

Biblical fellowship involves people sharing together the reality of their spiritual journey. They trade insights into his ways and seek counsel in difficult circumstances, encouraging each other to greater trust in Father's working. They serve each other even when it is inconvenient, are honest with each other even when it is difficult, and pull together instead of pulling each other apart.

- Wayne Jacobsen (The Naked Church)

What is so interesting to me is how much of this I experienced in 12-step fellowships when I was younger. I caught glimpses of it in the church where we first started following Jesus, but since then....well, not much...

It is so nice to have a group of people to journey with and who accept each other for who we are. We haven't gathered for a few weeks so I'm really looking forward to tomorrow night!

I'm back. I took a Christmas hiatus from the blogworld. I've been reading, just busy with other things....

We had a great Christmas and New Year. Good times with family and friend. Now it is time to job hunt and finish projects around the house. Maybe I can find time to write a song or two...I feel something coming on...

Conversations

Brenden is 4 years old and says some pretty funny stuff sometimes.

Brenden: Is it tomorrow?
Me: Nope, it's today!
Brenden: Ah, man! I thought it was tomorrow!

In all our knowledge and eloquence this is probably how we sound to God....

Check List

It never fails to surprise me how people can misconstrue things. We have a knack of looking at other people's actions through the filter of our own insecurities and turning them into something they are not....sigh.....

Just for the record I'd like to make a list of my failings so there are no questions:

Failure as a husband (check)
Failure as a father (check)
Failure as a son (check)
Failure as a friend (check)
Failure as an employee (check)
Failure as a worship leader (check)
Failure as a small group leader (check)
Failure as a Christian (check)

I'm sure there are many more.....and still.....He Loves Me!

Do yourself a favor and download Wayne's free book!

Learning to Receive

We haven't been in the best financial position as of late, and the pastor at our church dropped off a Christmas present. It was a $650 check that said it was from "our friends"! I was floored! Now, it's okay if I do that for someone else, but you can't do that for me!!! You see, I have a lot to learn about receiving....

It is much easier to give than receive. I don't mind giving until it hurts for those that I know are in need. Especially those I am close to. But, when it comes to being on the receiving end of the gift....that is another story. It is humbling to be the receiver. I don't know about you, but my carnal nature doesn't like humility!

Here is the problem. I HAVE to learn to be a good receiver. I am on the receiving end of my relationship with God. He acted first, I am just reacting. He is giving, I am receiving. If I can't learn how to receive on earth, how can I learn to receive in the spiritual realm?

It does not escape me how much this attitude ties in to my continuing study on tithing. When Paul talks about giving in 2Cor this is what he says:

2Co 8:5 This was totally spontaneous, entirely their own idea, and caught us completely off guard. What explains it was that they had first given themselves unreservedly to God and to us. The other giving simply flowed out of the purposes of God working in their lives.

Mat 10:8 Heal the sick, cleanse the lepers, raise the dead, cast out demons. You have received freely, freely give.

If those who were so generous to us are reading this....Thank you, both for the gift and the reminder of what it means to receive....

Tithing

Sorry for the quiet on the blog-front. I've just been doing other things recently.

Our church organization sent out an update on the pledges that were made for our building. Of course, almost no one is meeting their obligations. Surprised? In it there is an "encouragement" to be working toward giving 10%. I immediately bristle at this stuff, and I refuse to go to any "fundraising" meetings. This time I have been asked by several people in our church what I think about tithing. So, me being the researcher that I am, decided to study the issue. I won't bore you with all the details, but I'll try to summarize what I found and give you a few links for your own study....

• No reference to tithing in the OT refers to money. Lev. 27:30-33 is typical of the passages about tithing. It says that the tithe was to consist of "seed of the land", "fruit of the tree" and "herds".

• Tithes were given to the Levites according to Num. 18:24. There is no temple in Jerusalem today, and no Levite priests to give the tithe to, and it is a serious stretch for pastors to claim themselves as such.

I found this very interesting! Check out Duet. 14:22ff.

Deu 14:22 You shall truly tithe all the increase of your seed that the field brings forth year by year.
Deu 14:23 And you shall eat before Jehovah your God in the place which He shall choose to place His name there, the tithe of your grain, of your wine, and of your oil, and the first-born of your herds and of your flocks, so that you may learn to fear Jehovah your God always.
Deu 14:24 And if the way is too long for you, so that you are not able to carry it, or if the place is too far from you, which Jehovah your God shall choose to set His name there, when Jehovah your God has blessed you,
Deu 14:25 then you shall turn it into silver and bind up the silver in your hand, and shall go to the place which Jehovah your God shall choose.
Deu 14:26 And you shall pay that silver for whatever your soul desires, for oxen, or for sheep, or for wine, or for strong drink, or for whatever your soul desires. And you shall eat there before Jehovah your God, and you shall rejoice, you and your household
Deu 14:27 and the Levite within your gates, you shall not forsake him, for he has no part nor inheritance with you.
Deu 14:28 At the end of three years you shall bring forth all the tithe of your increase the same year, and shall lay it up inside your gates.
Deu 14:29 And the Levite, because he has no part nor inheritance with you, and the stranger, and the fatherless, and the widow, who are inside your gates, shall come, and shall eat and be satisfied, so that Jehovah your God may bless you in all the work of your hand which you do.

Hmmm....probably won't find this passage preached on during the fundraising push.....

• So, the tithe was used to have a time of feasting and communion with your family and those who are less fortunate in the presence of God.

Here's another little preached on passage....

Gen 28:20 And Jacob vowed a vow, saying, If God will be with me, and will keep me in this way that I go, and will give me bread to eat and clothing to put on,
Gen 28:21 and I come again to my father's house in peace, then shall Jehovah be my God.
Gen 28:22 And this stone which I have set for a pillar shall be God's house. And of all that You shall give me, I will surely give the tenth to You.

• Instead of giving the "first tenth" as we are taught today, Jacob's tithing had a condition. God's blessing came first, then the tithe.

So, if the institutional church was trying to follow OT principles on tithing, it would still be in error teaching that you should give 10% no matter what.

( I'm not going to hit the Malachi passages that are often used to support tithing. It would take to much time and its been dealt with at length in the links below.)

The problem really comes to light because we are no longer following the Old Covenant! Jesus fulfilled the Law and sent the Holy Spirit to live in us so that we could follow HIM! We are not under a rule based system any longer, we are in a dynamic relationship with the living God!!!! Here are some of the issues that come to light when trying to maintain the rule of tithing:

• There is no temple in Jerusalem and there is no Levitic priesthood to accept the tithe. In fact, WE are the priests and the temple!!!!
  

Mat 24:1 And Jesus went out and departed from the temple. And His disciples came to Him to show Him the buildings of the temple.
Mat 24:2 And Jesus said to them, Do you not see all these things? Truly I say to you, There shall not be left here one stone on another that shall not be thrown down.

Act 17:24 The God who made the world and all things in it, since He is Lord of Heaven and earth, does not dwell in temples made with hands,

2Co 6:16 And what agreement does a temple of God have with idols? For you are the temple of the living God, as God has said, "I will dwell in them and walk among them; and I will be their God, and they shall be My people."

1Pe 2:9 But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for possession, so that you might speak of the praises of Him who has called you out of darkness into His marvelous light;

• Additionally, in 2Cor. 8 and 9 Paul is encouraging the Corinthians to complete their generosity to the poor Christians in Judea. Check out some key phrases:

2Co 8:5 This was totally spontaneous, entirely their own idea, and caught us completely off guard. What explains it was that they had first given themselves unreservedly to God and to us. The other giving simply flowed out of the purposes of God working in their lives.

2Co 8:12 Once the commitment is clear, you do what you can, not what you can't. The heart regulates the hands.

2Co 9:5 So to make sure there will be no slipup, I've recruited these brothers as an advance team to get you and your promised offering all ready before I get there. I want you to have all the time you need to make this offering in your own way. I don't want anything forced or hurried at the last minute.

2Co 9:7 I want each of you to take plenty of time to think it over, and make up your own mind what you will give. That will protect you against sob stories and arm-twisting. God loves it when the giver delights in the giving.

There is more. But, it becomes clear that we are to give from our heart as we are moved by God's Spirit, not to fulfill the obligations placed on us by external means. Obligations are bondage. If you want to give, then give generously! Give what you can, not what you can't! God can still bless you if you don't give, but you will miss out on the joy of giving!!!!! There is much joy to be found too!

Here are some good links for further study:

Tithing is Unscriptural Under the New Covenant
Tithing vs. Giving of Grace
The Tithing Lie
The Truth About Tithes
Tithes and Offerings Jesus' Way

Our good friend Jamie planned a Thanksgiving Dinner for the less fortunate at our church this year. We had volunteers from six churches in our area to cook the food and serve as volunteers at the event. In our little town it is a miracle to get six churches together to do anything! Heck, the Southern Baptist Church wouldn't come to the Commmunity Thanksgiving Service because a woman was speaking....guess, you gotta take a stand somewhere (insert sarcasm).

Anyway, the dinner was awesome! We had truly needy people show up to eat and have some fellowship. Rich, the gentleman that we sat with, is going to lose his apartment in 2 weeks if he doesn't find a job. He wanted to talk more than eat, and I was happy to oblige. He shared with us the miracles that he sees God doing in his life... Then Jamie packed up to-go boxes with food and sent the teenagers out to the hospital and gas stations to give then a Thanksgiving Dinner. In my opinion, this is one of the few times I've seen our church, or any church in our area, express the heart of Jesus.

Let me tell you about Jamie. Jamie is a fireball. She is the kind of person that won't let anyone stand in her way. I love that about her! She loves to laugh and is the life of the party, and has a heart for the less fortunate. God is doing some cool things in her life! Though our church staff made it difficult to pull this off she forced it through, and once again, God was present when the church existed to bless people with no ulterior motive.

Questions

In his book "Dangerous Wonder," Mike Yaconelli discusses risky curiosity. The risk of asking questions. Mike suggests that people are afraid to ask questions for the following reasons:

1. Questions can be embarrassing.
2. Questions can make people uncomfortable.
3. Questions can be dangerous.
4. People think there are "right and wrong" questions.

This is a character trait that I don't lack. I love to ask questions. I don't really care if the questions make others uncomfortable either. I believe good questions are vital to the spiritual journey.

What happens when people ask questions? Often times they get isolated from others. The four reasons given above causes others to be uncomortable around people who dare to ask questions. I've experienced this many, many times. Just go to a church ministry meeting and start asking question. . . Mike says, "Our questions may chase everyone else away, but they attract Jesus. We may be stuck with our questions, but we are also stuck with Jesus. If our questions leave us alone with Jesus, then lonely isn't a bad place to be."

Here are some of the questions I'm asking, and will continue to ask. Feel free to add to the list....

• What does it mean to love, and be loved by Jesus?
• What does it mean to be the Church, the Bride of Christ?
• What helps me recognize the presence of Jesus in my life?
• What does it mean to have relationships? With others? With Jesus?
  
• Where is Jesus leading me? The others that I'm journeying with?
• How is Jesus expressing himself through me? The others I'm journeying with?

On a personal note, there are some other questions:

• Jesus, when will I find a job!
• Jesus, could you give me some more direct direction.

Kinda, kidding.....

We went to Columbia, Mo. yesterday to hang out with some brothers and sisters of the same Father. Matt, Amy, Matt and Cindy are some great folks on a similar journey. It was great being able to hear their stories about how they have come to believe in a "simple" faith. Though our stories differ, we have a definate connection...JESUS! It was so refreshing hanging out with some folks that take the journey to love, and be loved, seriously.

We ate (and drank) at the Flat Branch Pub and Brewery where we tried a sampler of the various brews they offered. The green chile beer pretty good! We learned about each other's journey, ate some food and drank some beer together. Sounds like "church" to me....

Then Matt took us to Rock Bridge Memorial State Park which was very cool. Some great paths to hike complete with caves for the kids to "explore." We talked about everything under the sun...movies, parenting, church.... We had a great time and hope to do it again sometime....

We are so grateful that God is continuing to put people into our lives to journey with. Geographical distance doesn't seem like such an issue. God continues to use the internet to make connections and make the world a lot smaller...

Maybe next time we can get George, Bruce, Eddie, Tom, Deb. . .to join us! I get the feeling someday we all may get to hang out together....

I'll try to post some pictures if I can figure it out.

Predicatability and faith cannot coexist. What characterized Jesus and his disciples was unpredictability. Jesus was always surprising the disciples by eating at the wrong houses (those of sinners), hanging around the wrong people (tax collectors, adulterers, prostitutes, lepers), and healing people on the wrong day (the Sabbath). There was no Day Timer, no strategic plan, no mission statement; there was only the eager anticipation of the present moment. The Pharisees wanted Jesus to the same as they were. his truth should be the same truth that they had spent centuries taming. But truth is unpredictable. When Jesus is present, everyone is uncomfortable yet mysteriously glad at the same time. People do not like surprises - even church people - and they don't want to be uncomfortable. They want a nice tame Jesus.

You know what? Tameness is not an option.

Take surprise out of faith and all that is left is dry and dead religion. Take away the mystery from the gospel and all that is left is frozen petrified dogma. Lose your awe of God and you are left with an impotenet deity. Abandon astonishment and you are left with meaningless piety. When religion is characterized by sameness, when faith is franchised, when the genuiness of our experience with God is evaluated by its similarities to others' faith, then the uniqueness of God's people is dead and the church is lost.

Mike Yaconelli (Dangerous Wonder)

Preach it brother!

God is Not a Republican. Or a Democrat.

This is getting close to how I feel about politics.

God is so faithful....no, no job yet. It'll come. But, God keeps putting people in our lives to journey with after a long time of loneliness. For instance, I'm giving guitar lessons to help make ends meet and a lady from church came over with her son. She talked to Trish while I gave the lesson. By the time I came upstairs they were chatting about our little group of misfits and how she would love to hang out with us.

We are going to Columbia, Mo. to hang out with some friends we haven't met yet. Matt and Matt are on a similar spiritual journey and we are really looking forward to spending some time with them. It is awesome how God is using the internet to bring people together as an expression of His body.

A few months ago I decided I wanted to learn how to play Texas Holdem. The recent WSOP and WPT shows have inspired me to give it a shot. I've always liked playing poker, but it's been years since I've indulged. I've been playing on the internet and have actually graduated from being a "fish" to being a decent player.

Here are a few lessons I've learned that may, or may not apply to the rest of life:

1. You can play your hand right and still lose.

2. Consistent good-decisions pay off in the long run even if you take a couple of bad beats now and then.

3. Good things can happen to bad players, but players who depend on luck eventually lose their shirt.

4. Intimidation can be worth more than good cards in your hand.

5. If you don't know who the "fish" at the table is, YOU ARE IT!

I've been doing some job hunting on the internet and I came across this job title:

Erection Foreman

Hmmm....maybe its working for Pfizer, the company that makes Viagra?

I'm getting tired of my own whining lately! But, things have been a little strange around the Hiduk home the past few weeks..... Trish has her gallbladder removed, she tears some tendons stepping off of curb, and now a truck runs her off the road in the rain. We have no medical insurance, and the kicker is, the insurance of the truck driver doesnt want to pay because there was no "point of contact", although it was clearly the truck drivers fault.

If life gets any better I don't know if I can stand it! Maybe the Cardinals will win tonight.....

Greg and Rebecca Sparks came to our church today. What great musicians and all around great folks! Hey, they're from Pittsburgh, they can't be all bad. Right, George? I highly recommend their music!

We went out to lunch with them and had a great talk about ministry, music, leadership etc. They have a different point of view about the institutional church than we do, but they have great hearts. It was funny, because when we got home we were made aware of another "controversy" we are in the middle of....of course, we are the last to know....

One of my criticisms of the institutional church has been that it sets up leaders to be criticized by people who have no relationship with them. Motives are assumed, assumptions are made, and gossip is started with incomplete information, from a distance, usually behind the leader's back. It would be great if church attenders could just be adult about such things, lets not even talk about being Biblical or Christian! It's like you get up on stage and paint a target on your back. I'm really saddened by this kind of immaturity, but I guess I shouldn't expect anything more....

So, to the folks who are reading through my blog hunting for information to use....Good hunting and God bless you....and here are few things to think about:

1Tim 1:5-8
The whole point of what we're urging is simply love--love uncontaminated by self-interest and counterfeit faith, a life open to God. Those who fail to keep to this point soon wander off into cul-de-sacs of gossip. They set themselves up as experts on religious issues, but haven't the remotest idea of what they're holding forth with such imposing eloquence. It's true that moral guidance and counsel need to be given, but the way you say it and to whom you say it are as important as what you say. (The Message)

Pro 11:12
Mean-spirited slander is heartless; quiet discretion accompanies good sense. (The Message)

I hope Andy doesnt mind me posting the lyrics to this song. Thanks for turning us on to the tunes Eddie!

White Flag
by Andy Squyres

Make way bow down
Give up surrender everything you’ve known
You’re about to lose everything you have
Here comes the devastation we were warned about

It’s a mystery it’s a bloody mess
It only requires everything and nothing less
But if we die we will surely live
If we just give up the only thing that we can give

Oh I am waving I am waving my white flag
In the air and I’m to the point even though I lose
I just don’t care as long as you are there

Can’t run, we can’t hide
From the desperation that we feel inside
But there is hope and there is truth
The love of God will never stop pursuing me and you

©2003 Andy Squyres - All Rights Reserved.

Some days I really enjoy my kids, but lately those days have been few and far between. My oldest is getting old enough to get a major attitude, my youngest is whining like a mama's boy, and my middle daughter is the instigator of a lot of the trouble. There is way to much yelling around our house, me included. Add to that the pressure I am feeling regarding getting a job and feeling generally worthless in the job-market. We sacrificed a lot for me to finish college and, unless God directly intervenes, I'm going to wind up in a corporate job I don't particularly like anyway. Right back where I started from...Add to that Trish wanting to be at home, and you've got relative chaos in the Hiduk home.

I'll admit it. My attitude sucks right now. I'm looking around and not particularly liking my life....and I'm not sure what to do about it right now. I'm not sure there is much to do but remain faithful and ask God to help me with my attitude.....and ask y'all for prayer....

More Reasons...

Found this on Kevin's blog, who got it from Laura's blog.... What a great summation of what we are doing, and where we are going!

"In conversion you are not attached primarily to an order, nor to an institution, nor a movement, nor a set of beliefs, nor a code of action--you are attached primarily to a Person, and secondarily to these other things...You are not called to get to heaven, to do good, or to be good--you are called to belong to Jesus Christ. The doing good, the being good, and the getting to heaven, are the by-products of that belonging. The center of conversion is the belonging of a person to a Person."
--E. Stanley Jones

For those who may not understand our decision, I came across a few quotes while surfing the blogworld that may help explain. See if these statements hold true in your exerience of organized religion:

One more thing. I spoke with a friend recently with whom I’d shared home group life until I moved away some years ago. They used to have lots of friends and how they’ve lost touch with everyone. We talked about how much work time he’d invested in friendships in the last few years and he admitted it was little. Work, commuting and home responsibilities crowded out the time they used to devote to building friendships. Having Jesus-centered friendship is an investment. If we don’t take time to build relationships we’ll find ourselves alone. That’s no way to live. We serve a relational God and I am convinced that almost everything Jesus does he does through relationships, not programs, models or works. Who is God putting on your heart today? Whether they be believer or unbeliever, invest some time cultivating a relationship with them and see where it goes. You’ll be amazed at what God will do. I find for every 20 or 30 relationships I give myself to, maybe 2 or 3 of those become great friends over time. If you’re not casting the net out there, the fish aren’t going to jump in it by themselves.
Wayne Jacobsen

"In my experience "mini projects" defines really well the way people in the church often interact and understand friendships. Too many people want to take a quick 5/10 minutes to "catch up" with what's going on, rather than investing something of themselves into your life. Being there when things aren't going so well. Living in the dark parts of your life. Does the church see friendship as something that needs to be strategic and pre-meditated instead of spontaneous and natural?"

"Some things I have noticed or felt are:
People make a lot less effort with you; after all they need to invest their time and energy into spending time with people already in their church community. If you're not in, you'll be left out."
Paul Fromont

So it begins....

We met with the pastor of the church we attend last night and resigned from being paid staff. This has been a long time coming for us. Much prayer and thought has gone into our decision. God is leading us in a different direction. An almost opposite direction if the truth be known. We won't be leaving the church totally right now though (For those of you that are worried about that). There are to many people we love and are journeying with to quit gathering with them. But, I believe we will be more authentic and effective under the radar, and without the obligations and expectations that weighs on paid staff.

So, the dream officially dies. We moved to Highland for me to finish my music degree and become a paid worship leader. My, how a couple of years can change your life. God has been rewiring our thought processes about church, discipleship, spirituality etc. for awhile, and to be honest, its been painful.

To be honest, there is some uncertainty involved in our decision. People wonder what we are going to do when we leave the IC. We really can't give them a satisfactory answer....follow God? Meet with other people that love God too? They answer, "Oh..." with a look in their face that portrays they think we are crazy. And to those who have no clue what we are talking about, we are...

Super Size Me

I've been on a few health food kicks in my life. I've read books, and we've tried to eat healthy, usually lasts a couple of months. Last night we watched "Super Size Me." If you haven't seen it, you need to. It's about a guy who decides to eat nothing but McDonald's for a whole month to see what it does to his body. He has to eat everything on the menu at least once, and every time he is asked if he wants to Supersize, he does. (Especially check out the bonus french fry test. 5 weeks in a jar and the fries don't even grow mold! What the hell are they made of!)

Prior to the experiment all the tests show that he is extremely healthy. Needless to say the diet has some seriously adverse effects.... But there is a good message contained in this movie about the power of advertising, corporate and individual responsibility, and greed.

One of the scariest scenes is when the guy is showing school children pictures of people to see if they recognize them. All of the them know who Ronald McDonald is, and get excited seeing him. He then starts showing them a picture hidden from us and none of the kids know who this guy is....he turns the picture around to reveal a picture of Jesus. Yea, yea, I know what you are going to say, but the branding of our kids is happening...

• The average child sees 10,000 TV advertisements per year
• McDonald's distributes more toys per year than Toys-R-Us
• Before most children can speak they can recognize McDonald's
• McDonald's represents 43% of total U.S. fast food market
  

I believe in holistic Christianity. Every part of my life matters. So, where does what we eat fit in to our theology? Should it? Does my diet effect my relationship with God and others?

The movie makes a good point that it is socially acceptable to berate people about smoking. It's unhealthy, it effects others.... But, isn't that true for most of our diets too? Especially, when in the coming few years obesity will be the number one fatal disease that is preventable...

What if part of our alternative Christian lifestyle had to do with treating our bodies well in this fast food culture?

1Co 6:12 Just because something is technically legal doesn't mean that it's spiritually appropriate. If I went around doing whatever I thought I could get by with, I'd be a slave to my whims.
1Co 6:13 You know the old saying, "First you eat to live, and then you live to eat"? Well, it may be true that the body is only a temporary thing, but that's no excuse for stuffing your body with food, or indulging it with sex. Since the Master honors you with a body, honor him with your body!
1Co 6:14 God honored the Master's body by raising it from the grave. He'll treat yours with the same resurrection power.
1Co 6:19 Or didn't you realize that your body is a sacred place, the place of the Holy Spirit? Don't you see that you can't live however you please, squandering what God paid such a high price for? The physical part of you is not some piece of property belonging to the spiritual part of you.
1Co 6:20 God owns the whole works. So let people see God in and through your body.
(The Message)

School's out for summer! In the immortal words of Alice Cooper. I have one first aid class to take to earn a bogus credit, then I am an official graduate of Greenville College. Now I have to look for a job and/or figure out if I am going for some more school....decisions, decisions.....

We had a bonfire out at a friends house last night, and we're goint to the HS football game with them tonight. Will be starting a poker night soon....

Trish is on a roll. Read her stuff for the past few days and be blessed... As for me, I am doing life and school right now....

Our little gathering had a barbecue last night. Good times! A little beer, a lot of laughs, and friendships growing.... plus, our kids had a great time together.

+Thank you Lord for being faithful and trustworthy!+

I haven't blogged about this, but I took a job with our "latchkey" program at the church. We have about 90 kids that we take care of after school until their parents can get them. I'm the only guy working with 5 other women. See what a college education can get you! :-)

I see so many things that break my heart. The other day a little girl in my class was crying and I asked her what was wrong. Her mom never gives her money for soda, and the little girl had finally talked her into it. She was waiting all day to buy the soda. The bell rings and she runs to the soda machine, inserts her money.....and an older boy steals her soda, runs off, throws it on the ground, breaks it and runs off laughing (Good thing I didn't see him do it!). So, after the class had snack I snuck off and spent 50 cents to buy her another one. When I came walking onto the playground with that Mountain Dew you would have thought her whole world had changed. 50 stinking cents. Sometimes that's all it costs to change someone's day.

I've got a lot of stuff running through my head regarding leadership etc....but no time to write. School is almost complete! Three more weeks and I'll have Bachelor's Degree at 36 years old! Better late than never....

My sweet daughter Abbie turned 9 years-old yesterday! My, how 9-years flies! The most beautiful days of my life were being able to participate in the birth of my kids! I got to catch Abbie and Hannah coming out of Trish because we had them at a birth center. What priviledge! It seems just like yesterday!

We had a party for her Saturday. A small party with our family and three of her friends. I am so grateful for the friends she has this year. Everyone of them is sweeter than the next. It was so fun to watch them play "freeze dance" and pop balloons by sitting on them, to hear their giggles... It was so great to get her a guitar this year! She has been wanting to play for sometime now....

I love Abbie! She is growing up to be such an awesome kid! Sweet, sensitive, creative, loving... I am reminded to take advantage of the time we have to build relationships, both with our children and each other. Time is a commodity that is so precious! Once it is gone you can't get it back...

Thanks for the comments! Your thoughts help me clarify and put into words what I'm trying to say. In keeping with the discussion going on VC, I'll post some more of my thoughts. These are new, to me, and still forming. Feel free to challenge them. I think discussion about these issues are healthy and needed in the Body...

Regarding individuals and community. Jesus created the church made up of individuals who relate to Him. When those individuals gather, a local expression of church happens. The local expression of the Church will only be as healthy as the individuals in it. She will only be able to carry out God’s mission as individuals learn to know, hear, and follow Him. God works through individuals to form communities, AND God works through communities to form individuals. The church cannot do one without the other. You can’t have a forest without trees, and you can’t have a local expression of church without having individuals.

So, I hope that we agree that the individual and the community need each other to exist. So, the question is, Where do we put our emphasis? You have said that you put it on the community.
I see it like a balanced see-saw. Tipped toward the individual you get individualism, relativism, strange interpretations of Scripture....Tipped toward the community you get conformity, commitment, accountability, and trust becoming the major issues, and you get self-appointed leaders “caring” for the community at the expense of the individual. The problem is that when the scale is tipped neither side is ends up loving God and each other. I think that a delicate balance must be maintained between the individual and the community.

When community is the main focus, the organization will become more important than the individual. Good intentioned leaders will make decisions that benefit the organization, at the expense of the individual. Often the leaders believe that God’s will and their will are the same and wind up destroying individual Christians. I’ve seen and experienced this, as many people have in the various new expressions of the Church. That is why many of us sought new expressions of church in the first place. The problem is that an emphasis on community demands that self-appointed, or elected leaders act on behalf of the community to manage, create, act as gatekeepers etc. to perpetuate the organization/community. 2000 years of Christianity has produced thousands of denominations, institutions and models doing just that.

In this delicate balance trust becomes the major issue. In your model you are asking people to trust you because you view yourself as a leader. Yet, Jesus did not trust men because He knew what was in them (John 2:24-25). Why would he ask us to trust each other? The language of institutions is “committment, accountability, and trust”, yet Biblically, those words are never directed toward other believers, only God. I find that interesting.... Accountability, and trust are reserved for the Father alone. I know it sounds crazy. It did when I first heard it too. Check it out for yourself.

To put it another way: If I look to you (a leader) to fulfill my needs will I wind up disappointed, hurt and frustrated? If I look to the community to fulfill my needs will I wind up disappointed, hurt and frustrated? In the end, we will fail each other because of our own flesh, and the leaders will become disappointed, hurt and frustrated when the individuals do not live up to their expectations, and fulfill their obligations. All I’m suggesting is that we were never meant to look to people and/or community for what God, and God alone, can deliver.

I believe that I can trust God to correct fellow believers in their journey. When we devise systems to “correct” other believers, we are really saying that we don’t trust God to do His job. It is when we don't really trust Jesus to be the head of his church, that we devise systems to keep it under man's control on his behalf. Which means much of our structures for body life today are actually built on unbelief. As you know, organizations take a lot longer to accept corrections, and can do tremendous damage to individuals in the meantime.

We could go even further and ask if it is “loving each other” to put expectations and obligations on each other at all. What happens when I don’t meet your expectations? Because you know that eventually I won’t. What happens when I fail to fulfill my obligations? You know, at some time I will fail. And, where does God tell us to put expectations and obligations on each other? When you ask me to meet the expectations and obligations of your idea of spirituality/leadership how is that not a form of bondage? I can’t help but think of the book of Galatians in this discussion, but I won’t waste the space here.

I will agree with Wayne Jacobsen when he says, “Life in God is a dynamic relationship. You can't mass produce it by behavioral objectives. You can't find it in religious tradition or embrace it vicariously through a charismatic leader. Life in God has to be lived in our own hearts.” To that point, the Christian life is individualistic. It is when we share the life in God together that community exists.

I simply think that we are headed in the wrong direction if we think that we can contain or sustain God’s movement by relying on people, no matter how wise or gifted. There is a myriad of ways to live together in community. God is a community, and wherever His presence is manifested community is built. The church is simply God expressing Himself through individuals that freely (yes, I believe freedom is good) choose to meet together. As God expresses Himself through us, a local expression of the church is created as we gather together.

The only two real directives that Jesus gave the Church is: Love Me and love each other. Could it really be that simple?

My friends at Vineyard Central are discussing some changes that have really caused me to think through some issues about leadership, form, and structure in the local church. I wanted to post some excerpts of what I wrote as a response to those changes. I have great respect for them, and I think God is doing some awesome things through them. I am certainly still a work-in-progress, and I don't claim to know everything, but these are some of the fundamental things God has been showing me in the past few months. As always, let me know what you think....

Regardless of the good intentions of “leaders”, the nature of religious institutions and organizations (networks included), tends toward a subtle shift from listening and responding to God, to attempting to manage what God is doing. It is the nature of an organizational system to produce this shift. History is rife with such examples. The institution then requires some form of hierarchy to create boundaries and act as the gatekeepers of the institution. At best, a “pecking order” will arise that gives preference to the input of some at the expense of others. The questions change from “How can we listen to and follow God together?” to questions like “Who is more spiritual? Who is most gifted? Who can contribute? Who is allowed to participate as a leader?” Ultimately, there is an exchange of spiritual authority for institutional power.

I believe, in spiritual terms, there is a cost to trying to be effective. It is the cost of freedom in exchange for conformity to standards, rules and obligations (the language of institutions).

Basing our identity on a network, institution, or movement gives us a vested interest in such to succeed, and causes us to sacrifice simple relational connectedness for management, boundaries and hierarchy. It becomes increasingly easy for leaders to confuse serving and managing. Putting restrictions on what is simply “sharing Christ’s life” takes the focus off of Christ and puts it on the uniqueness of our methods, or the voices of self-appointed experts. I know that you want to see people partake in wholeness, freedom, and life. But, I don’t think that rules, regulations, methods etc. mean that people will experience that. It does not follow that if we “do Church right” that people will “act right.” We don’t need influence, money, or programs that can be managed or exploited to release the Body to do as God leads them.

Perhaps what God started, God will make effective. What God birthed, God will grow. When it is time, God will let it die, and something else will take its place.

Later I wrote:

I guess my point is that the "rules" become increasingly important when the organization/network/institution is the focus, as opposed to being focused on helping individuals know, hear, and follow Jesus, and letting the networking happen as a natural result. When the network is the focus I am not sure there can be true "equality and consensus." It is not the nature of organizations to allow that to take place. So, maybe the question is, do you really want to become a formal organization/network? I think there are other options...

Trish is asking some good questions about form too....check it out!

I intend to do some more writing about this stuff....gotta finish my final project for school though....almost college edumucated!!!

Our Preoccupation With Form

I’ve been thinking about church for the past few days. Like, what else is new? Ever since Alan’s and Aaron’s posts about the importance of form for the local church, I’ve been trying to clarify why I bristle at the preoccupation we have with form. I was focusing on form a lot in the past few years, but my thoughts are beginning to change. So, I’m not trying to slam anyone, just trying to clarify my own thoughts about the matter....Please hang-in-there with me this is stream of conciousness stuff....

I see at least four questionable beliefs of a preoccupation with the form of our gatherings: 1) We believe that if we “get church right” that individuals will “get right.” In other words, we believe that the form needs to be relevant, exciting, transformative, etc. for individuals to be saved, transformed, relational etc. 2) We need to “come to church”/gather to be transformed, or to experience the context for transformation. 3) We believe that it is our job to see that people get transformed into Christ-likeness. 4) Form winds up being used as an excuse to separate ourselves from each other in the family of God.

In my few years of following Jesus I’ve seen traditional, contemporary, Willow Creek, Purpose Driven, pragmatic church, cell church, house church and emerging church. Each one has been touted as the latest and greatest, but in the end has failed to fulfill “high calling.” For example, those of us who remember when Willow Creek was all the rage can look back and see just how far off the mark we were in thinking that church needed to be entertaining. In the end we merely produced consumers of religious goods and services. We thought we had the form right, but in the end the individuals didn’t “get it right.” It doesn't follow, nor has it ever, that if we do the right things at "church" that individuals will do the right things in their daily lives. Getting the mechanics right, or leading in the proper manner, does not necessarily mean we are sharing the life of Jesus together.

“We've taught for years the mistaken notion that we need to go to church to fill up on the life of God. Not true! We can only fill up on God's life through a transforming relationship with the Father through his Son. We were never meant to come to fill ourselves with church, but to live full of him and then share his life together with God's people. Here is the problem with most of what passes for church life today, including many house churches: Rather than teaching people how to live dependent on Jesus Christ, it supplants that dependency by its misguided attempt to take the place of Jesus in people's lives. Instead of teaching them how to live in him, they make them dependent on the structures and gatherings of what we call church. Our expressions of church life just become another thing to stand in the way of people living deeply and fully in him.” (Jacobsen)

There is a big difference between gathering together to share our common life in Jesus, and coming to church to be transformed. When we share our common life, we bring what Jesus has already given us to share with others. When we go to church looking for transformation we are not relying on God, we are relying on the form of church, the personalities of the leaders, the way the music makes us feel, the relationships we have to transform us. God may choose to use those in our transformation, but he may also use countless other ways too. I see no reason to focus on tools of the Christian subculture over and above those of the everyday life.

I submit that it is possible that the forms of our Christian activities may even hinder us from having a dynamic relationship with our living God. By nature, a relationship with any living thing is dynamic and unpredictable. Yet, we desire to reduce our relationship to fixed forms. I believe our goal is to live in the life of the Father everyday, allowing Him to transform us through/in our everyday activities, relating to Him in more intimate ways that lead to authentic trust, and sharing that life with others. If our gatherings are causing people, in anyway, to rely on our forms/structures in the place of God we need to seriously step back and question why we are preoccupied with those forms and structures.

We have sought new expressions of the Church for many different reasons. Many of us have left the IC becuase we didn't believe the form was appropriate, biblical, or helpful in our relationship with God, or each other. Maybe the problem wasn't with the particular form, maybe the problem is the preoccupation with any form. Perhaps what we are tryin to re-"form" is the problem. Maybe we should look at our gatherings as individuals sharing the life of Jesus in them, rather than a place for people to come to be transformed....?

So, if the forms of our gatherings are not of primary importance, how does transformation take place? Please don’t misunderstand me here. Gatherings are important, but I do not believe that the gathering is the impetus for transformation. If, as Wayne Jacobsen says, “Jesus’ life in people doesn’t flow out of church life, Jesus’ life in His people flows into church life,” then transformation begins with the individual and flows into the community. I see transformation happening not as I respond to well done music, participate in liturgy, participate in corporate disciplines, or listen to a sermon, but when I trust in Jesus in the everyday occurences of my life...when I learn to let Him love me, and am filled with His love, then I have something to share with the community.

I'll try to address the other issues I mentioned at a later date...I'm all typed out...
Feel free to challenge my conclusions. I' m still trying to flesh it all out...