The Beer of Life

Not that I need another reason to drink beer, but. . .

However it is a little disconcerting that even beer is getting genetically modified. IS NOTHING SACRED!!!!

America's Swan Song

I don't blog about politics much. While I relate to politics and nationalism in a drastically different way than I used to, and I really only care in as much as these issues effect personal freedom. But, I am still aware of what is going on in our country.

I have no "faith" (see my last post) that US government is the answer to fix the core problems of our country. The core problems can only be fixed by personal responsibility, discipline and spirituality. Unfortunately, times aren't bad enough for the majority of people to resort to those drastic measures.

Here are few things that I think confirm the challenges of a country that is in the last stages of democracy and capitalism, or in other words that we are late stage Rome.

The government is scared to death of this financial crisis. I assume they know more about this crisis than I do (maybe that's a bad assumption). They are concocting all kinds of schemes to keep people consuming and spending, which is why we are in this financial mess in the first place. I think there is a chance that no matter what the government does this house of cards will fall anyway.

Most of the governments solutions to the financial problems are Socialist. The government now is in charge of a huge portion of our nations wealth. They have mismanaged our tax dollars to the tune of $10 trillion, so I'm sure they can do a good job of managing all these new assets...

We just elected another President who bought and promised his way into the position. But, already the promises for "change" look like hollow words.

My 8 year-old's school has decided to teach them about the details of drug use. My 8 year-old needed to taught the details about huffing glue, cocaine and assorted other drugs that he knew nothing about previously. That will get him good and curious! So, the state is now taking it upon themselves to parent our children without our approval or knowledge.

Our state, and most others, continues to take their peoples property under eminent domain laws, and force the public to spend money just defend their homes.

And most damning, Americans continue to be happy to relinquish their freedom in return for "security and peace". We continue to look to the government to solve our personal problems.

I would take the time to find supporting links to all of these issues, but they are easy to find. These are interesting times we live in. . .

Faith

I was having a discussion with a friend who is preparing to exit the IC. I was trying to explain where I am on this crazy spiritual journey and he said that it sounds like I am discounting anything that requires faith. He is right, depending on how you define "faith".

I came across this interesting site called Live Real that gives lots of definitions. If you think you do, or don't have "faith" I encourage you to read all the descriptions on the site. I'll throw a few out there that I thought were interesting:

It is "The substance of things hoped for, the evidence for things unseen."

It is another way of saying that you have no proof.

It is an act of imagining the way we wish things actually were, and stubbornly insisting that it is that way, regardless of any amount of evidence to the contrary.

It is the effort to try to make yourself believe in something you really don't.

It is a concept of something that people resort to when they suffer or get themselves into trouble.

Whatever it is, if you have it, you'll be OK; and if you don't have it, you're in for a lot of pain and suffering.

An emotional state of conviction manufactured by emotional speakers at lectures, rallies, revivals, and crusades; in other words, it is the result of a successful sales pitch from a charismatic figure.

Ambrose Bierce: "Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel."

It is a polite way of saying "Please shut up, and stop asking me questions I don't have the answers to."

It is a deep inner state of being which gives one a profound and unshakable trust in life.

H. L. Mencken: "An illogical belief in the occurrence of the improbable."

A state of confidence which tends to be shattered by inevitable tragedies.

A weapon of defense against not-knowing; also a philosophical trump-card one pulls as a means of telling folks who are asking difficult, complex, or disturbing questions to basically shut up.

Something called up when faced with a question or situation that one does not understand or cannot solve, which in normal circumstances, enables one to easily rationalize one's failing to put forth any effort to understand, or even attempt to understand even the problem, much less the solution, and so enabling one to relax into a comfortable security of believing that high-ranking spiritual figures are on your side in doing so.

It is an word that describes a process of insisting that you believe in a statement, phrase, or position, and refusing under any conditions to consider, question, or doubt anything contrary to it.

Another word for "inner strength."

An intuition that there is an Answer to The Problem of Life.

Something that is preserved through avoiding, dodging, and hiding from doubting, thinking, and objective analysis.

Something that is arrived at after an intense period of doubting, thinking, and objective analysis.

"I discovered later, and I am still discovering right up to this moment, that it is only by living completely in this world that one learns to have faith. By this-worldliness I mean living unreservedly in lifes' duties, problems, successes and failures. In so doing, we throw ourselves completely into the arms of God. Taking seriously, not our own sufferings, but those of God in the world. That, I think, is faith." - Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Christianity At Work

Another great example of the power of Christianity....Here.

Questions

In his book "The Road Less Traveled", M. Scott Peck says that the spiritual journey is about learning new things. For us to learn new things we must be willing to let our old thoughts and preconceptions die. "To develop a broader vision we must be willing to forsake, to kill, our narrower vision." Letting part of myself die is not comfortable, it is not easy, but I agree it is a necessary part of the journey.

Peck continues, "We begin by distrusting what we already believe, by actively seeking the threatening and unfamiliar, by deliberately challenging the validity of what we have been previously taught and hold dear. The path to holiness lies through questioning everything."

Herein lies the problem. Questions hurt. They are scary. They take us to unfamiliar places. But, on the other hand questions make us alive, and may lead us to beauty and peace. Our institutions (government, schools, churches) teach us that asking questions and alternative points of view are dangerous. Just a few examples: look at the rhetoric against the Libertarian Party, school programs like DARE that serve no purpose but scaring children, and fear that churches have towards eastern religions just to name a few.

What kind of questions do you ask? Where do you draw the line in asking questions? What if you know there was nothing to fear on the other side of your questions? Really, how could there be anything to fear. On the other side of your questions and doubts, in your own experience, you will find truth. That's not so scary....

My Election Day Prediction

Like you really care...

I predict that no matter who gets elected, the supporters will be sorely disappointed in a couple of years.

We had a little college girl come to our door to try to persuade me to vote for Obama. I politely let her know that my leanings were toward smaller government, less taxes and more freedom and she quickly ran away....

I have no illusion that politics is a solution to the core issues of our problems as a nation. Americas problems are greed, aversion and delusion and will only begin to be addressed when a large number of individuals begin to see themselves, their families, their communities, their state, their country and the world from an enlightened perspective.

Now I'm going outside to enjoy a cigar and the fall colors and know that no matter who gets elected, or what happens in our country, I am free.

Lawsuit Against God?

Lawsuit Against God article.

I have a problem when God refuses to be accountable...he could of at least sent a prophet to speak for Him!

Life After Death

There are many views of life after death. Here are a few options, if I've left some out feel free to let me know. I'd love to hear what view you hold and why...

• We go to heaven is paradise with God, literal streets of gold, a literal tree of life, and a crystal clear river that proceeds from God's throne. Or, we go to a literal hell where our flesh burns forever in darkness outside of God's presence.

• We attain different levels of heaven depending on how we lived on earth.

• We go to an intermediate, neutral place where we await a bodily resurrection.
  

• Heaven and hell are considered metaphors for our bliss or regret over what we have done and how we have lived in our time on this earth.

• When we die our body rots in the ground and nothing about us continues to exist. (annihilation)

• Our energy continues to exist (it cannot be created or destroyed), but there is no soul/spirit/self that is conscious.
  

• Our soul /spirit is reborn into a human fetus or newborn child.

• Our soul/spirit/energy is reborn into another living entity, not necessarily human.

• There is not enough information to make a solid decision. I don't know.
  

• The issue is immaterial to how I live here and now. I don't care.
  

Letting Go

Interesting discussion here.

Here is my comment on "letting go".

It's funny that you blog about "letting go". I told my wife the other day that life is just a series of letting go's. Actually, that's not quite accurate though. Our early life is a series of desiring, grasping, clinging, building, striving... Our ego's are developing, we are finding out "who we are", our likes and dislikes, our attractions and aversions. We we worry about losing what we have gained, we want to gain more, rise higher...my teen and preteen are right in the middle of it, and while I know where the ego ends, it is a necessary part of life for them, so I have to "let them go" too.

At 40 years old I realized that, if I live to an average age for a man (certainly no guarantees), half of my life was over. What did I want the other half to be like? Did I like who I was? What I was doing? So, I made some changes that have led to interacting with the world, and people and my ego in a completely different way. Instead of having this low level static of general discontent in my life, I've rested in who I am, and the circumstances I'm in, like sitting in a comfortable easy chair perfectly molded to my body after years of use.

I believe the reason that "letting go" is huge part of the spiritual journey is that grasping, clinging, holding, striving etc. produces suffering. In my ego, I want things to last forever, but nothing does, so I suffer. In my ego, I want to be the center of everything, but I'm just one of billions. In my ego, I believe I own my possessions, but in reality they are only mine until someone else wants them more, they get lost, or they get destroyed. I want those I love to stay forever, but they will leave. In my ego, I want to live forever, but someday I will die. And so, I suffer.

All these realizations entail "letting go". At the end of "letting go" there is freedom.

Silence and Death

Sorry about the silence lately. I've started a new job on second shift and I'm trying to get adjusted. I've got lots going on, but not much time to share at the moment.

I was hired because the person on my shift was out on leave for six months. I could get the hint that it was a serious medical condition, but they really couldn't tell me what was going on. It turns out that he has terminal cancer and it's aggressive. He is the nicest gentleman, which has made what could have been an awkward situation be a blessing for both of us. He is also a man of strong Christian faith.

We have had the opportunity to talk about one of the deepest subjects there is: death. We've had the opportunity to share our beliefs, doubts and curiosities about the subject. And share a few tears. I consider it a privledge to be there at this time.

It's interesting how all of the things I've been learning fit this situation: non-judgment, awareness, suffering and freedom. I've used them all, or maybe they have used me.

It's interesting to be aware of my emotions when death is discussed. There used to be fear. Now it is more like a calm resolution. Why fight it? It will happen. I don't know exactly what waits after death. But based on the beauty, diversity and complexity of our bodies, the world, the universe....I believe it will be pretty cool.

So, for now....silence until my next post.

The "Good Stuff" - Down the Rabbit Hole

If you are a friend of mine and haven't read my blog for awhile, please read the past few posts before you call me a heretic. Thanks.

So, I've explained some of the rational behind this "experiment" here and here. I've described my crisis experience in which I got a glimpse behind the ego-mind (although I didn't know how to describe it at the time).

Much of my time as a conservative Christian was centered around theology, theories, obligation, morality, rules and rituals. None of which helped me experience God in a significant way. Most of the changes in my life were either short lived, or were more an act of shoving a round peg into a square hole. The holistic, natural change that comes from inner peace and joy were absent.

So around the time of this "ego-mind experience" I started doing some research on the Tao and Buddhism, looking for the commonalities with what I've been taught and experienced. I must say that I resonated with large portions of what I read. I think Buddhism describes reality better than any of the other religions/philosophies that I've participated in (more on that in a later post). But one thing that Buddhism teaches is that you will never experience enlightenment by reading about it. It must be experienced. I completely agree.

I‘ve since learned that the glimpse of awareness and freedom that I experienced was merely a momentary detachment from my ego. In my mind I believed that my security was being threatened. I had lost a sense of self by having no "purpose" in life (no religion, no career, etc.). My identity, as I consciously new it, was being destroyed. Yet, behind it, I received a glimpse of my true self.

You see, the ego wants you to believe you are always safe and secure. It wants you to believe that you are on solid ground. It wants to vanquish any threats to your mind and body. It wants you to think you are the center of the universe. It wants you to think you are separate and alone. It wants you to think that what you can see, hear, touch, smell, and taste are all that exists. It is concerned with self-preservation. It is about panic, fear and confusion. It especially fears death.

The ego does not want you to know the truth: that you are floating on a ball in space in a universe so vast, ancient and diverse it defies understanding. Yet, in that vastness, everything is connected and essentially one. That safety and security are really illusions and an emotional response to the uncertainty of this life. That the inner world is no less real than the physical world. That death, whether psychological, emotional or physical, is nothing to fear, but to be embraced as part of the journey.

I wanted more of the inner peace, joy and clarity that I had experienced. So I began meditating. Bringing awareness into my life everyday life. Quieting my mind. Delving deep into myself.

To be honest, at times, it was quite scary. I did not know what I would find there, and the ego does not die easily. Sometimes it is like falling into nothingness, like when you are drifting off to sleep and you suddenly jerk yourself awake. But in the nothingness is this calm, beautiful, peaceful energy, and if you decide to go down the path you may find yourself resting in it. I've found that the more time you spend in that quiet, peaceful place, the more it seems to shape your life when you are not in that state. And you begin to see beauty everywhere.

But I've found that if you continue the inner journey, you will find the real you that exists outside of time and space. The me that exists beyond the thoughts of who I "think" I am. The me that exists without the baggage of my past. The me that exists without my formulation of what I will be in the future. The me that exists Now and only Now. The me that just is.

It's kind of like The Matrix. My eyes have been suddenly and drastically opened to the world around me. I am of so much more aware of what is around me: aware of the breeze against my skin, the treetops dancing, my own breath... I am aware of the suffering in my own self, viewing it from a distance, letting it settle. Not judging it, but aware of it. I am acutely aware of the suffering of others too. As I’ve said in previous posts, results matter. All I know is that I am experiencing peace, joy and love. I am accepting the circumstances of life, not caught up in the past and future, without judgment. If that’s wrong, I don’t want to be right.

Yes, I could couch all this in "Christianized" terms like "metanoia" etc., But they are just terms speaking of the same thing that Buddhists have spoken of for thousands of years. Why reinvent the wheel? For those worried about keeping the Christian label on their faith, may I just say that I think Jesus was influenced more by Eastern religion than most of us think. I think Western Christianity could use to informed by Buddhist philosophy, and the contradictions are probably fewer than what is found in the Bible itself. But that’s another post….

"Good Stuff" Coming Soon

I apologize for not getting to the "good stuff" sooner. I've been writing on it, but to be honest, it's hard to put the workings of the heart into words....and I've just started a new job, and my bro got married last night. Feeling a little rough today.

In the meantime here is a tidbit....

The mind does not like to be quiet. It thrives on creating problems, solving problems etc. Have you ever noticed the steady stream of thoughts during your day? Are they usually about the past or future? What kind of feelings do they produce?

How often do you really quiet your mind? Have you tried? What happened in your experience?

Preface to the "Good Stuff"

We have been on a long spiritual journey. It's been messy, but beautiful. You can read my past posts over the last 5 or 6 years to get a glimpse. The journey has been life-long, but more recently started with questioning if institutional forms of church were helpful in the spiritual journey. I can say that it was not very helpful for me. Additionally, I had serious reservations about attending church with a group of people that believed if a person did not believe in a literal 6-day creation they were not a Christian. That led me to question my understanding of the Bible, how it should be used and it's place in my journey. A process which is still in play...

Let's just say that I would have been considered an exclusivist and an absolutists when it came to Christianity. I held beliefs about Christianity that were intellectually and spiritually arrogant, and misinformed. Part of this journey has been an investigation of science and religion and how they compliment each other which has led me to question my position. The investigation is ongoing and incomplete, but essentially I am asking:

What is the common theme behind our world's religions, and does that tell me anything about human nature in general and what we are seeking?

What does it tell me about the God who created this beautifully diverse world as well as our vast universe?

What philosophies and traditions help me understand the universe and our place in it, the world in which I live, and which produce real, lasting results in my life?

I listened to a lot of Christian radio as a new Christian in Texas. Most of it was radically conservative to the point that they manufactured solutions to refute scientific evidence about the age of the earth, Darwinism etc. Can I just say that if religion or philosophy completely flies in the face of science there is a good chance that its in error? Science is mostly interested in finding truth (meaning, "saying of something that is, that it is"). I just cannot believe that reason has to be thrown out in order to be spiritual person. So, I have remained open to psychology and quantum physics etc. and what they have to say about the universe and the mind.

I am not concerned with the language and labels of Christianity in this journey. If Christianity is what I was taught it is, "the only religion that makes it possible to have a true relationship with God", then it will rise to the top of list. I am not forsaking Christianity, but trying to rightly see its place in the scheme of all religions. I am not forsaking the Bible but trying to see it for what it is and use it appropriately. However, because I have been so ignorant of other religions, traditions, philosophies and sciences I feel that I need to "distance" myself from it for awhile in order to get a better overview.

I'm sure there are plenty of "holes" in my thinking here. I'm not a scientist, or a religious scholar. I'm just a dude that is doing the best he can living life and trying to understand his place in it. I don't know what I will find in the end, but I do know that God is big enough to handle the questions. I am not afraid.

In the end all of the theories and philosophies we have been taught come down to experience. What real, tangible difference does it make in your life? You will have to find that out for yourself...and that's what I'm doing.

The Incredible Collapsing Ego

It's funny. I was just accused of having a "rosie world view". Most people who know me would never say that! I'm a pessimist by nature and I have a knack for finding something wrong with just about everything. Hell, I've been unemployed for nearly six months! I can tell you for a fact this "rosieness" is not the "normal" me. This change in attitude is one of the main reasons that I continue on the spiritual path that I'm on. There are results. Change for the better. Life. Peace. So, I'll take that as a compliment!

Around about the time I quit my job I had a very powerful spiritual experience. I was in a lot of emotional, psychological and spiritual pain. I was confused, hurt and angry. Life was not turning out how I planned it. Our business plans were shot dead. I was in a dead-end, high stress job working with people that were not even civil a lot of the time. Blah, blah, blah... I guess all the years of wrestling with church and God, and all disappointments finally took there tole.

Then one day as I was driving to work, in that extreme pain, I found myself almost being an observer of myself. That's really the best way I can explain it. Then all of the sudden I felt peace. Not just relief, but probably what Paul talked about when he said, "peace that passes understanding." The tears began to flow. And then I had clarity. I knew I had to quit my job. So I did, not knowing exactly how we would get by. I don't know, you could call it faith, or stupidity. Maybe both.

I couldn't explain exactly what had happened. There was nothing in my christian experience that would explain it except that I had experienced this one other time, when I was first baptized as a new christian. What I experienced then, and many time since, can be best explained as a sudden collapse of the ego. The pain that I was in was caused by resisting what was.

I just could not understand how I could be a "child of God", a "follower of Jesus", a person of the "kingdom of God", a "worship leader" that gave up a great job to help bring people into the "kingdom" etc. and still be fed a shit sandwich in life. Why would a God who cared about his children allow that (feel free to look at my past posts for more on that)? In essence, I was unable to accept what was. I was fighting the Now because christianity had taught me about a God who does miracles, who blesses "his own" etc.

I had just turned 40 years old. Half my life was gone. What did i have to show for it? I was without a career, unemployed, unhappy, angry, mean and lost. All of this suffering because I had a wrong view of God, reality and how life really works.

I'll get into what has happened since in another post. That's the good stuff!!!

The End of the World...Tomorrow?

They fire this thing up tomorrow....they could end the world, or find the fingerprint of God. Either way it's all good.

Political News Coverage

With all of the political B.S. going around in this election year I've struggled to find unbiased, balanced and fair coverage. I may have found the only source you will need to fully understand the complicated issues surrounding this year's election right HERE.

The Ego and Sin

I've been giving some thought and experiencing some interesting results from looking into Buddhism. Quite honestly, some aspects of Buddhism describe the universe and my experiences far better than the Christian tradition I was raised in.

Homebrewer brought up an interesting point in the last post about the ego that I'd like to flesh out here.

My understanding of the ego is that part of my mind which is primarily and ferociously concerned with survival. It is concerned with the past and future and knows nothing of the Now. It identifies and labels form and experience and shoves it in a box (nationalism for example). It attaches my identity to various forms (could be a particular car, designer label, brand, role, job etc.) It causes an endless stream of thinking which feeds physical reactions (emotions) which then fuel more thoughts. It tells me that I am separate, different, and essentially alone. It produces confusion, pride, separateness, self-centeredness, greed, defensiveness and desire, all which lead to suffering.

I am thinking that this is what is called sin in Genesis. The OT writers were trying to describe the reason that our best intentions turn to crap. Why would we forsake a perfect existence with God in a beautiful garden? The ego. Instead of resting in perfect union and peace Adam and Eve viewed themselves as separate from God and made their own judgments and decisions. They wanted an identity of their own.

And what happens? Their "eyes were opened", they "knew they were naked", and they "hid themselves from God's presence". They chose their ego over God and God let them have the consequences of that choice. A life dominated by the ego and separate from God. Not only are they separate from God, but Cain and Abel show us that we are separate from each other too!

Perhaps we are not trapped by our ego. Perhaps Jesus was describing a new way to live that we turned in to theories of salvation. Perhaps we are not separate from God and each other. Perhaps the ego is an illusion that is kept alive by our overactive minds.

I'd love to hear your thoughts....

Who Am I?

I am a son.
I am a brother.
I am a husband.
I am a dad.
I am a musician.
I am an American.
I am a cigar smoker.
I am a beer drinker.
I am a bicyclist.
I am a college graduate.
I am an employee.
I am a co-worker.
I am a neighbor.
I am a friend.
I am a seeker.

One day all that I think I am will cease to be. The boxes that I put myself in will disintegrate like wet cardboard. My five senses, in which I put so much trust, will fade away. My nationality, my likes and dislikes, my habits, my education, my belief systems, my relationships and my titles will mean nothing. The world will disappear. Who am I then?

In that moment, as my ego dies, I will exist stripped of all that I think I am and find that...

I AM.

Who are you?

Mind/Ego/Spirit

I'm really enjoying the conversation here. There is a lot of fertile spiritual ground to be mined in the discussion of how our ego effects our spiritual life and vice versa.

The Danger of the Experiment

One of the pitfalls of living life as an experiment without the "leash" of religious authorities is that we guide the experiment ourselves. We are the mad scientist! That means that my experiences, ego, thoughts etc., define the parameters of the experiment for better or worse.

The limits of my experiences, ego, thoughts etc. can be both positive and negative. The benefit is that I can freely experiment to find the concepts, ideas, and practices that seem to help me observe, understand and live a spiritual life. The negative is that I can become content with less than God has to offer.

The main issue that I see with experimenting with spirituality is that I can endlessly chase my whims. My psychological, emotional, mental and physical predispositions, as well as the experiences I've had, cause me to limit and choose particular spiritual experiences that align with my dispositions. For instance, if I am an intellectual person that has issues with personal relationships I may chose to pursue solitary, intellectual spiritual experiences because that is what I am comfortable with, finding myself satisfied with far less than what God has to offer in the totality of spiritual experience.

For instance, lets say that coming from a non-religious background I am completely satisfied with my experience of going to church every Sunday to fulfill my obligation, ease my guilt and talk to some friends. I have no nagging sense of anything missing in my life, and feel like I am walking with God and leading a "spiritual life". In my opinion, I would be satisfied with far less than God has to offer. Satisfaction is not the same as spirituality, though may be a part of it.

Buddhism teaches that our experience of the world can be understood as ten basic life states called Ten Worlds. I've found this way of understanding life useful in understanding myself and others. In this understanding of the world, tranquility, basically understood as satisfaction, is an experience of calm, peacefulness, and reason. Nothing wrong with that, but each level can also have negative aspects. Tranquility can also lead to laziness, inactivity and passivity. In addition, tranquility is only the fifth level of ten. So if I believe that satisfaction is the goal of life, I have in effect, limited my spiritual experience.

So, what is the solution? I believe that occasionally forcing myself to learn, study and experience spirituality that is outside my limited experiences and understanding may be a healthy way to overcome the danger in the experiment. How else could I know if there are spiritual practices, theories or experiences in this beautifully diverse world that may be helpful in my journey?