I used to be one of the people he is talking about.... While I don't agree with everything he says, I think we could have a cup of coffee now.
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Friday, March 28, 2008
Now
Here is some stuff I wrote awhile back. I don't know if it still applies, but this represents part of my journey....
I gave Christianity my all. I studied the Bible. I prayed. I volunteered. I worked as a full-time youth worker. I wrote songs. I attended accountability groups. I led small groups. I participated in worship events. I had spiritual experiences. But, looking back, in the end, Christianity did not change me on a fundamental level. I’m not sure the things that did change, needed to be changed in the first place.
Let me give an example. I studied the Bible believing that if I did I would be closer to God, experience God, and be a more useful Christian. I went to Bible College and learned about textual, historical and literary criticism. But for all that knowledge I was never truly at peace. I was never comfortable with who I was in the moment. I was still seeking, still striving, still angry, still restless…still searching.
I am not saying that I never experienced peace. What I am saying is that most of the things that I did and experienced never helped me with the core issues of life. The answers that I got for the big questions only satisfied me for a short time, but over the long haul the questions and doubts crept back in to my heart. I was still searching for validation outside of myself. Something that would make me more “completely myself.” Those things simply are not found in the Bible, or in church, or in the things we do in, and for, any institution.
Not only did the things I do not really help me spiritually, but my thoughts were almost always past or future based. Remembering past events that shaped me (usually for the worse). Looking forward to heaven. Looking forward to the day that I would be free from sin in general, or free from a particular temptation. Believing that suffering now would be turned to joy in the future. Looking forward to the day I would be more loving, more gracious, more at peace... and I was never taught that joy is only available NOW. Inner peace is only available NOW. Peace with God is only available NOW. The most holy moment is NOW. In fact, the ONLY moment is NOW!
It has taken me leaving the Institutional Church. Laying down the things I’ve been taught. Challenging my own beliefs. Asking questions that “shouldn’t be asked.” Crawling through depression so thick that it felt like jello. Feeling no hope, no desire, no motivation. Searching, and finding nothing… coming to the end of my self I begin to realize that under all my effort, under all my beliefs, beneath all my thoughts, there was a beautiful connection with God that transcended my striving, believing and thinking.
I rest. And in that stillness I understand freedom.
I gave Christianity my all. I studied the Bible. I prayed. I volunteered. I worked as a full-time youth worker. I wrote songs. I attended accountability groups. I led small groups. I participated in worship events. I had spiritual experiences. But, looking back, in the end, Christianity did not change me on a fundamental level. I’m not sure the things that did change, needed to be changed in the first place.
Let me give an example. I studied the Bible believing that if I did I would be closer to God, experience God, and be a more useful Christian. I went to Bible College and learned about textual, historical and literary criticism. But for all that knowledge I was never truly at peace. I was never comfortable with who I was in the moment. I was still seeking, still striving, still angry, still restless…still searching.
I am not saying that I never experienced peace. What I am saying is that most of the things that I did and experienced never helped me with the core issues of life. The answers that I got for the big questions only satisfied me for a short time, but over the long haul the questions and doubts crept back in to my heart. I was still searching for validation outside of myself. Something that would make me more “completely myself.” Those things simply are not found in the Bible, or in church, or in the things we do in, and for, any institution.
Not only did the things I do not really help me spiritually, but my thoughts were almost always past or future based. Remembering past events that shaped me (usually for the worse). Looking forward to heaven. Looking forward to the day that I would be free from sin in general, or free from a particular temptation. Believing that suffering now would be turned to joy in the future. Looking forward to the day I would be more loving, more gracious, more at peace... and I was never taught that joy is only available NOW. Inner peace is only available NOW. Peace with God is only available NOW. The most holy moment is NOW. In fact, the ONLY moment is NOW!
It has taken me leaving the Institutional Church. Laying down the things I’ve been taught. Challenging my own beliefs. Asking questions that “shouldn’t be asked.” Crawling through depression so thick that it felt like jello. Feeling no hope, no desire, no motivation. Searching, and finding nothing… coming to the end of my self I begin to realize that under all my effort, under all my beliefs, beneath all my thoughts, there was a beautiful connection with God that transcended my striving, believing and thinking.
I rest. And in that stillness I understand freedom.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
The Perfect Night
My perfect night would consist of:
Hanging out with my hot wife.
Listening to a great live jamband.
Drinking good ale and smoking good cigars.
Talking to people about spirituality, religion, and philosophy.
It was a perfect night!
Hanging out with my hot wife.
Listening to a great live jamband.
Drinking good ale and smoking good cigars.
Talking to people about spirituality, religion, and philosophy.
It was a perfect night!
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