The forms of Christianity that I have participated in have always imposed morality from the outside. The logic would go like this: If I was a good Christian I would not be angry, lustful, greedy etc. Because I feel these things in my inner life there must be something wrong with me. If there is something wrong with me I need to do something to fix it because I want to be a better Christian. So I would read more, pray more, study more, worship more etc. However, there was no lasting change in my inner self. The anger, greed, lust etc. was still there. My self was being falsified.
To make the situation worse I had disowned these emotions and projected them on others. In essence, I would see in you the emotions and drives that were to painful to see in myself. The emotion or drive within me still existed but appeared to arise from without. So, instead of being angry, I feel that you, or the world, is angry at me. This explains why people can go to church, read the Bible, worship with tears rolling down their cheeks, counsel others etc. and still be blind to the "log" in their own eye. Unfortunately, Western Christianity provides no way to deal with the "shadow" as Ken Wilber calls it.
It is easy to see how institutional religion and fundamentalist belief in the Bible foster this problem. The tremendous pressure to maintain appearances creates guilt and shame over these emotions and drives, which feeds the shadow, forcing me to displace my emotions and drives on those around me, allowing me to assume other's motives, which in turn hurts them which creates more pain, guilt and shame, and on and on.
So, those things that bother us the most about other people are really within us. In order to embrace who we really are and move forward, we need to "re-own" these emotions and drives. So, every time I get pissed off at the kids, or my neighbor doesn't courtesy mow, or there are crumbs in the butter, or think a drive-thru person is rude, or I think someone doesn't like me, or I think someone is totally awesome, or I think the world is against me....I can choose to take a 3rd-person look at what's going on and re-integrate my shadow. By doing so I will become more truly Me.
Trust me. I still have a lot of shadow to integrate.
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3 comments:
I hesitate to write this but:
"good christian"... is there such a thing?
Isn't Christianity's whole point is that there are no "good" people, Christian or otherwise, save One?
Maybe that morality "from the outside" (e.g. 10 commandments and the sermon on the mount) is God shouting at us saying, "You need someone else's Work".
Just a thought.
And I think that by "stuffing our real selves" (my words not yours), by trying to be self righteous, do the right thing to please God, etc., that many people loose their real self in a very unhealthy way.
Steve,
Your second comment is the point of this post.
I would say that each church has its idea of a "good Christian" that creates tremendous pressure to conform because, of course, their interpretation of a "good Christian is backed up by their interpretation of the Bible.
I'll have to respectfully differ with you on the rest.
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