American Beauty

In 1999 I was in the middle of institutional Christianity and never saw American Beauty. I kept coming across the movie in blogs and different things I've read, so we decided to rent it. Interesting timing....I guess it was blacklisted because the the guy tries to seduce his daughter's friend.

Never mind that the seduction was part of Lester's spiritual awakening, and that he never actually went through with it! (Please see the post below about not being able to judge "good and bad" without all of the information.)

I was struck on MANY levels how similar my life has been to Lester's in the last couple of years. A long, painful realization that I am loved, that I am whole, that life is beautiful...

I guess I could be pretty pissed off
about what happened to me,
but it's hard to stay mad when
there's so much beauty in the world.

Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing
it all at once and it's too much.
My heart fills up like a balloon
that's about to burst.
                 
And then I remember
to relax...      
and stop trying
to hold on to it.
                 
And then it flows
through me like rain,
and I can't feel anything
but gratitude...
                
for every single moment...
of my stupid little life.

You have no idea what
I'm talking about, I'm sure.
                 
But don't worry...
               
You will someday.

-Lester