Wounded

I've been reading John Eldridge's book "Wild at Heart." In one way it's a rehash of "The Sacred Romance" with a masculine twist, but it has stirred some God stuff in me that I going to share. I am going to take the risk of being vulnerable in a public place because I think it may help some people.

We are all walking wounded. All of us at some point in our life have been told things that have damaged our spirits. Many times it's been our parents. I'm not talking about direct abuse, although that is all to common and causes many wounds, but I'm talking about those of us that come from seemingly good families.

Now, I love my dad, so don't get me wrong. But, in my teen years when I needed him most, he remained detached. My dad and I have never really connected at a heart level. I don't know if my dad is even capable of it. I have a feeling that he never connected with his dad either (my Grandpa died before I was born, so I don't know firsthand). We are closer today than we have ever been, but there is still something missing.

Do you ever have things, seemingly from nowhere, pop into your mind from your childhood? It is interesting to me that I am 36 years old and there is still something from 7th grade that pops into my mind occasionally. I was one of three white kids that rode on an all african-american bus. Needless to say there were some tense relationships. One day a kids decided he wanted to fight me. He got off of the bus at my stop with one of his friends and we went at it. I threw a couple of punches, and not knowing if his friend was going to jump in I ran.

I have never been a fighter. Some people seem born to fight. I've been in fights, but that is just not where my heart was. Satan uses that wound to keep me where he wants me....passive and weak. I don't know what your wound is, but I can guarantee you the the Enemy uses it to cripple you. He will bring it up to make you feel worse about yourself than you already do. If you start to deal with it he will redouble his efforts. Hey! I'm 36 years old and do you really think this situation that happened when I was in 7th grade pops into my mind for no reason?! Hell, no! That's how the Enemy works!

Here is the good news! There is healing to be found. It won't be found in the masks we wear to cover our wound. You won't find it in the many and varied ways our society provides to keep you distracted, dumb and "happy". You won't find it in your girlfriend, boyfriend, or spouse. You won't find it in the mastery of your profession. You may not even find it in church. Healing is found in having an intimate, deep, connection with Jesus.

That sounds so simple and trite, but it is the truth. We have to face our wounds. Call them what they are. Tell the Enemy that he is not welcome in our lives and then seek the heart of God with reckless abandon. What you are doing is letting the ultimate Father, father you. Where our earthly parents fall short, God our Father will take over. Where our "friends" on earth have let us down, and maybe even abused us, Jesus, our forever Friend, will put his arm around us and call us friend. He will send the Comforter to comfort us in our pain as we deal with these wounds.

Here's the catch....yea, there had to be one, right?....It comes at a price. The price is living a lifestyle that is committed to intimacy with Jesus. Finding those disciplines that help you come close to the Lord and sticking with them until the healing happens. Forsaking your past priorities for the new priorities of God's Kingdom. It's a small price really, considering the benefits that await....

So, here's what I sense Jesus saying to me: "You thought you were weak, but as you have submitted to me you have been made strong. Not everybody will pick up their family and move away from friends and family to follow my call. Every time you speak at a church meeting knowing you will be misunderstood for my sake it is courageous. Every time that you talk to a hurting teenager you are entering into battle. Every time you pray over your children you are using the weapons I gave you. Don't believe that sissy, no-account, two-faced, slick tongued liar anymore! You are mine!"

May we all find our healing in Jesus.