Been having some good times of fellowship and discussion with friends lately. I am reminded of the different places we are on the spiritual journey. This really hit home as I read this article on Theocentric. This will be on my reading list.

With much shame and humility I remember a time when I thought I had all the answers. About my third or fourth year as a Christian. I had been serving at a church as a youth leader and started reading Len Sweet and dabbling on home church sites. No one in our leadership had a clue about what I was talking about. I had knowledge, so I thought I had the "truth". I knew there were serious problems in the church and looking back, I was right about that, but how I handled it was horrendous. I left a path of destruction and hurt in my rearview mirror. I had the knowledge, but not enough experience to really know what to do with it, how to handle it, or when to use it. Those lessons are learned in TIME. Even after Neo downloaded all of the data into his brain, there were lessons he still had to learn to use the knowledge effectively.

Time and experience has led me down a path that finds me in a different place on the journey. I find myself in a time of questioning, rethinking, deconstructing the things I thought I knew. Searching for a holistic gospel instead of the fragmented "five steps to this" and "three points of this" that I was fed in my early Christian experience. Seeking faith that exists everyday, not just on Sunday. I realize how my view of the Church is limited by the experiences that I have had, and not had. I find myself face-to-face with my own woundedness, sinfulness and ignorance.

I know in the eyes of some these questions and realizations are seen as weakness. I will join the Apostle Paul and boast in my weakness. I think it's in realizing what I don't know, in knowing how far I have yet to go, that the Holy Spirit has room to work in my life. And one day I will fully lose myself and find wholeness....