Here is a reply that I wrote to a good friend about my views on church and where I am at spiritually right now....Kinda scattered, but then again so am I....


I believe that God loves the church too. I don't think he has given up either. But here are some things I think we need to think about...

If the "church" is a place where people cannot use their God-given spiritual gifts, is it then, really the Church? Paul clearly assumes that the gifts will be used....

If the "church" is a place where people can come to "worship", yet never be worshipers, is it then, really the Church?

If the "church" is a place where people read the Scriptures, but are never challenged to understand and live out what they read, is it then, really the Church?

If the "church" is a place where they keep people so busy they have no time to get to know their next door neighbor, to be a Good Samaritan, to be a friend....is it really the Church?

I don't feel that I am "leaving" the church. I think that maybe we had church when we gathered at Rusty's house, worshiped, studied, prayed, challenged, got vulnerable etc. When God wanted to change the world he sent Jesus to train a small group of people who went out and made other small groups of people (If I remember correctly The Master Plan of Evangelism affirms this). Maybe the Church is a place where 2 or 3 are gathered in the name of Christ trying to love God with all their heart, soul and strength and REALLY trying to love their (nextdoor) neighbor as Christ loved them. Maybe there is nothing wrong with being small. Maybe God doesn't care about church growth principles, Sunday morning shows, maybe they even make him puke. When Jesus came, he challenged the religious status quo, but then he died and rose from the dead and made the status quo irrelvelant. Maybe that is what is going on now...the status quo (programatic, institutional church) is becoming irrelevant.

You're right. Corporate worship is awesome when you are with people who are seeking God. But, I've had those experiences in the context of small communities of people, and to be honest I can't think of tremendous life change in my own life that came from a corporate worship service. I think the questions that I'm asking are the right ones. I think asking the right questions are really what our journey is about...

What is church?
What is a follower of Christ?
What does a follower of Christ do?
How can I be transformed into the image of Christ? How does the Church help me? What role do friendships have in my transformation....

Really, the issues I am dealing with right now are more fundamental than that. I look at my own experiences and wonder if God really cares where I work, where I live etc. I question whether he cares about us in a personal way. Why is it that his word says "Ask in prayer, believing and you shall receive"...then you see His people get snakes and stones rather than the bread they asked for? Yea, it's all part of the big unseen plan we can't comprehend....but that makes God quite distant doesnt it? Using people for His purposes at the expense of their lives. Or, maybe we are mistaken when we think we "hear God's voice". Then why wouldn't a loving God correct the mistake before the poop hits the fan? Again, part of the big unseen plan? If I really believe Kingdom Theology, which says that God's Kingdom has broken into the present with a taste of the future, shouldn't we be tasting that future? Shouldn't people who follow him be unmistakably blessed? I've known very few people in that category.

I don't doubt God's existence. I've seen and know too much to know better. What I wonder about is just how close God is... How personal he is.... The theological answers I get about why God allows suffering just doesn't cut it, especially suffering of people who are called by His name. If God, in Jesus Christ, is putting the world back together the way it should be, using his people to be a transforming agent in the world....does that make you feel good knowing the current state of the church?

I don't think there are easy answers to these questions. I think those that have the easy answers haven't truely wrestled with these issues. I don't feel like I am in a place that i shouldn't be either. I still don't think God is afraid of my questions. Maybe this is part of the journey...So I'll wrestle until God blesses me and keep asking Him until I get some answers....