Nothing To Say

I'm really not posting here anymore. I don't have much to say. Life is life. I'm living it. I am comfortable with where I am while realizing there is always more around the corner.

I may decide to post again in the future. If you have been lurking let me know ya by saying something. If you still want to keep in touch, hit me up on facebook.

Peace and adventure in your journey!

R

Risking Life and Living Fully

It's taken me 40 years to get comfortable in my own skin. It's been a long process full of bad choices, dead ends, and stupid mistakes. Although there are some things I may regret, I 'm not sure I would change a thing.

When I first became a Christian I thought the spiritual life was additive. I needed to do more. More service. More church. More Bible. More worship. More knowledge. More thought. More tithing. More... Because these things, of course would make me a "better" person.

Looking back, I'm not sure what the "more" was fueled by. Perhaps illusions of perfection? Judging my insides by the outsides of others? Institutional standards and social expectations? Probably a combination of these and some issues to which I'm still blind. Nevertheless, while the intentions were good, the results were not. Underneath I maintaned a fairly constant low level of anxiety as I tried to be someone who I was not.

My take on spirituality is different these days. I see it and experience it as a subtractive process. Less trying and striving. Less organization. Fewer preconceived notions. Less social pressure. Less judgment. Less outside influence. As the minus signs multiply I find myself left with someone who is more authentically "me". Free to risk life, trusting God to work in all of my imperfections until, as Thomas Moore puts it, "they reveal the secret of my nature."

I'll finish with a couple quotes.

"He who would lead a Christlike life is he who is perfectly and absolutely himself." -Oscar Wilde

"A perfect person would be someone without blemish, but the perfected person is someone who has really lived. You can usually tell if a person has lived life fully, just as you can glimpse the hollowness in someone trying to be perfect. -Thomas Moore

Jesus as god and man

I've thought about writing out a "Christology" but it's just tedious and boring. Like we need more theological BS divorced from everyday experience, right? To be honest, I am resistant to solidify any of my beliefs. I've seen my belief systems change so much that I hold everything pretty loosely at this point. Additionally, I just can't find a way, or a reason, to attempt to reason away the mystery. So, instead I'll start throwing some thoughts out there and see what sticks to the wall.

According to the creeds and traditions Jesus is fully man and fully God. IMO misunderstanding these two beliefs causes a lot of unnecessary grief. In practice, as a fundamentalist Christian, I really couldn't grasp either one, and judging from most Christians that I know, neither do they. Let me see if I can explain my point, as convoluted and incomplete as it might be.

I don't think most people have a problem with Jesus being an actual historical figure. Although there are some people who would argue the point,
I'll take it as fact. So if Jesus was "fully man" he would be experiencing life as "fully" as any man has, or ever will. He would be experiencing and seeing life from a "God perspective".

I think Jesus was serious when he implied his "Godhood". I probably interpret it different than most. A man doesn't go out to the desert with no food or water for 30 days for jollies. He was on a mission, searching...just as other ascetics and mystics had done before him (John the Baptist perhaps being his contemporary example.) It appears that what he experienced in the desert changed his life in a deep, meaningful and drastic way.

It is clear that Jesus thought he was one with God. I think its possible that Jesus was borrowing language from the Hebrew scriptures to describe the state of consciousness that he experienced in the desert, and continued to experience throughout the rest of his life. The Gospel of John is fairly straight forward about this. Joh 10:30 I and the Father are one! In Western culture you aren't supposed to say this kind of thing. They call you a heretic, throw you in the nut-house, run you out of town, or crucify you.

But, here is what is interesting in this discussion. Humans have been experiencing different states of consciousness for as long as we know. It's been called cosmic consciousness, God consciousness, satori, awakening, Self-realization, born again, etc. Jesus was not first, nor the last to claim "I am-ness". Is it at least possible that this is what was happening to Jesus? Is it at least possible that Jesus was trying to interpret his experience using the culture, language and religion he was familiar with?

Most Christians think that Jesus was fully God and therefore in the back of our mind we know we can never do or experience what Jesus did. Alan Watts says that we put Jesus on a pedestal and throw him "upstairs", because he is "fully God" and we are not. Once we do that he can never be an example of transformation simply because he is not like us. Instead he is elevated to the role of a cosmic Christ that destroys the power of sin that hovers over the universe. Perhaps we imagine that he had special knowledge and revelation. As a result, transformation is either given lip-service, ignored, or reduced to external morality. Apparently Jesus had other ideas.

I think Jesus was serious when he claimed that he was God. However, I don't think there is a good reason to think that he limited Godhood to himself. Jesus knew that his experience of "oneness" was something we could all experience. In fact, it seems Jesus confirms he is not the only "god". Please notice that italicized "the" is not in the original Greek.

Joh 10:33 The Jews answered him, For a good work we stone thee not, but for blasphemy; and because that thou, being a man, makest thyself God.
Joh 10:34 Jesus answered them, Is it not written in your law, I said, ye are gods?
Joh 10:35 If he called them gods, unto whom the word of God came (and the scripture cannot be broken),
Joh 10:36 say ye of him, whom the Father sanctified and sent into the world, Thou blasphemest; because I said, I am the Son of God?

I don't think this view strips Jesus of his Godhood either. I think it confirms it. But it does not restrict Godhood to Jesus. He invites us into his view, experience of life, and oneness with the Father.

Joh 17:21 that they all may be one, as You, Father, are in Me, and I in You, that they also may be one in Us, so that the world may believe that You have sent Me.

Jesus was sent into the world to preach a gospel of radical transformation. This transformation takes place when we "open our eyes", when we are "born again", when we experience the "kingdom of heaven". Jesus experienced a different worldview, state of consciousness, whatever you want to call it, and pointed the way to a new way of living to which he invited all people. A worldview where we see our brother as our self. Where we experience the power of God moving threw us that we can neither direct or fully understand. Fully engaged in this world while seeing it from a completely different perspective. Aware of the eternal in everything we see and do. Seeing the secular and spiritual as one. Intellect and senses working in harmony. Where the natural is a mystery and mystery is natural. Our feet firmly rooted in the earth and our hands lifted toward heaven. Fully embracing who we are and what life asks of us. To experience all of life and reality as one. Perhaps we are all capable of being sons of God.

FU Arthritis.

Lessons From the Garden

I whipped this up at work the other night as I thought about what I have learned from being more aware of nature, and my part as a being not separate from it. It's some poor fruit that I offer to the world.

Lessons from the Garden

I dig my hands
Into the warm earth
I plant hope
And wait

Nestled safely in her dark womb
Nourished by decay
Drinking the sky
Reaching for the sun
To fill her veins with life
She hopes and waits

The morning sun on my back
Sweat pours from my creased forehead
As I tend, and hope, and wait

She dances to the rhythms
Dark and light
Breeze and calm
Inhaling death
Exhaling life
The song is nothing
And everything

Rainbows born from the earth
Flower and fruit
Triumphantly exploding into being
Given freely,
Completely,
Sacrificially
To the world

Dancing to the rhythm
She falls
Fully spent
Plowed under as
Nourishment for the next

Red and ripe
Realized hope
Drips down my chin
I thank the earth
And sky
And sun
And wind
From which, I to, am made
As I dance to the same song

Dying Well

Sometime ago I posted about my coworker who has terminal cancer. He seems to be deteriorating and his latest scan confirmed it. We had a tearful chat this evening.

So, here is my question:

How does one help someone "die well"?

Bible Altitude

I know that when someone has an “alternative” view of the Bible, or Jesus, it freaks some people out. It freaks the institutionalized church out so bad they call it “heresy”. In my opinion, heresy is just a stigmatized label placed on alternative views in order to control the masses, so I don’t pay much attention. In reality, what the church calls heresy is just another opinion that appears dangerous to those with a vested interest in power or money.

I have an alternative view (read: not the view of those in charge of institutional Christianity) of the Bible and Jesus that I would like to throw out there. The only way I can make sense of it is to see it as poetic, allegorical, mystical. It’s not new. Alan Watts had a very similar view in the 60’s and it jives with mine pretty well. If you wish to “push back” in a respectful way, I don’t mind at all. I’ll start with some general thoughts about the Bible and how I see it.

My interpretation of the Bible has changed over time. I began reading it as a new Christian, full of wonder, awe and zeal. It was special. It was an inerrant book of magic spoken by God threw his people for the good of all humanity (at least those that lived in the Bible belt which was my world at the time). Then I went to Bible college and took some classes. There the Bible was dissected in ways I didn’t know was possible. Textual, historical, and source criticism replaced magic. The Bible, for all intent and purpose, was worshiped as a fourth person of the Trinity. I finished my degree at a more “liberal” school that taught it was infallible (good for everything we need to know to live a “pleasing life”), which at least allowed a little room for science. I was trained in a particular way of reasoning in order to come to the same conclusions as the professor, and I was pretty good at it. However, there were to many hoops to jump threw, to many leaps of unnecessary faith, to much sterility, to much systematic theory divorced from reality.

I think one can look at the Bible from different altitudes. I was taught in college to look at the Bible from a microscopic point of view. Each word should be researched in the original language etc. When I was new to the Bible I looked at it from a higher altitude. I read chapters and books to get the main point etc, or tried to the get the overall point of the New Testament or Old Testament.

However, what if one pulled back to a higher altitude and viewed the Bible compared to other sacred texts (having an open mind might help too)? You might say that there is simply no comparison, the Bible is true and all other sacred texts are false. In my opinion, this would be like an astronomer saying there simply is no planet that compares to the Earth, so we must quit looking. Or, a scientist in the medical profession who says penicillin is the best thing ever, so lets not research further. The world is just to big and diverse for this kind of attitude in my opinion.

From this point of view the Bible is not unlike other sacred texts. It has a creation story, historical information, a metaphysical framework, mythology, heroes and villains, saints and rascals.

Here is an excerpt from Egyptologist, Sir Wallis Budge:

According to the writings of the Egyptians, there was a time
when neither heaven nor earth existed, and when nothing had
being except the boundless primeval water, which was,
however, shrouded with thick darkness. In this condition, the
primeval water remained for a considerable time, notwithstanding
that it contained within it the germs of the things,
which afterwards came into existence in this world and the
world itself. At length, the Spirit of the primeval water felt the
desire for creative activity, and having uttered the word, the
world sprang straightway into being in the form which had
already been depicted in the mind of the Spirit before he
spake the word which resulted in its creation.

And this from The Egyption Book of the Dead:

God is One and alone, and none other exists with
Him; God is the One, the One who has made all things.
He is eternal and infinite; ... He has endured for
countless ages, and He shall endure to all eternity.
God is a spirit, a hidden spirit, the Spirit of spirits,
the Divine Spirit.

He is a mystery to His creatures, and no man knows
how to know Him. His names are innumerable; they are
manifold, and no one knows their number.
God has made the universe, and He has created all
that is in it; ... He has stretched out the heavens and founded
the earth. What His heart conceived came to pass straightway,
and when He had spoken, His word came to pass, and it shall
endure forever.

God, Himself, is existence; He lives in all things, and
lives upon all things. He endures without increase or diminution;
He multiplies Himself millions of times, and He
possesses multitudes of forms and multitudes of members.

God is life, and through Him only man lives. He gives life to
man, and He breathes the breath of life into his nostrils.

God is merciful unto those who reverence Him, and
He hears those who call upon Him. He protects the weak
against the strong, and He hears the cry of him that is bound
in fetters. ... God knows those who know Him; He rewards
those who serve Him, and He protects those who follow
Him.

Considering these writings, which are a great example of monotheism, predate Judaic scripture, I would say it is not a far leap from this story to the creation story of Genesis.

Let’s play the “what if” game. What if the first few chapters of Genesis, and the perhaps the rest of the OT, were just a way that the Hebrews tried to describe life as they saw it? What if it is no different than any other culture that was trying to make sense of life and created a story to do so? What makes the creation story of Genesis better, or more accurate, or more useful than any of the other creation stories? Have you taken the time to read other creation stories to see what is similar?

Please keep in mind, this is no scholarly study. It's just one example of what I've found in my study. I'm not trying to change anyone's mind. It's just a glimpse of why I've changed how I choose to view and use the Bible. I'll throw some different points of view out there about Jesus in the future....

Certain Mystery

Our drive for order, meaning, adequacy and control creates a theology that is neatly organized, everything in its place, packaged with a nice bow on top. Yet, when the suffering, unpredictability and mystery of life rips our package apart we may find the box was empty all the time. What we thought were nicely organized facts about life and God were built upon an illusion of certainty. So, we are left with an empty box, the bow and wrapping paper on the floor, and nothing certain.

Science over reaches its usefulness when it implies that one can know God by knowing facts, laws and principles. Religion oversteps its usefulness when it claims certainty about that which cannot be known for certain. Both disciplines are using symbols of language to describe mystery. In the end, both have confused the finger pointing at the moon for the moon itself. God will not be kept in a box of certainty.

"Nicholas (of Cusa) noted that, rooted in holy uncertainty, we are left with approximations. He says that our language for God is like a polygon made of many tiny straight lines passing for a true circle. If we look closely at our reasonings, we find that for all their brilliance, in the end, they come up short. We may be fooled by the illusion of knowledge, but we remain ignorant, and this failure of understanding allows us to be religious. The holy person is the one who has broken through the self-deception and knows how much she doesn’t know. The point in thinking is to reach the far edge of understanding and to stand there in wonder.”

“Since we are only approximately correct when we speak about spiritual matters, the part that remains unknown and unspoken gives our words and ideas the emptiness they require. If there is no respect for that edge of illusion, then we are left with literalism and fundamentalism, scourges of the spiritual life. This is one of those basic ideas on which religion stands or falls: Do we pretend to know more than we can know? Or do we admit to our ignorance and build an intelligent edifice on that lack of knowledge?”

-Thomas Moore “The Soul’s Religion”

So, where does that leave us if we realize what we thought were facts about life and God were really rooted in deeper mysteries, and perhaps fantasies? Hopefully, a place where we can reexamine our worldview. But more fully, right where you always were: On a ball spinning around the sun on the edge of a galaxy with no net under the tightrope. Nothing certain and nothing guaranteed. Humble and in awe of the chance to be conscious and aware for this brief glimpse of life we get to experience; All of us doing the best we can to make sense of our life, our world and our universe; Tangled up in a beautiful, creative mystery.

Organized Religion and Transcendence

I happened across this book in the library, and the first two paragraphs of the introduction sum up how I feel about institutional religion very well. We'll see how the rest of the book goes.

Every human life is a profound mystery. Deep and invisible currents make us who we are, and the world around us is full of secret intentions and laws. One response to all this mystery is to treat it as a problem to be solved and to do everything possible to be informed and in control. But another way is to bow down in ignorance and confess our limitations. Religion and spirituality, for eons intimately connected, offer creative ways to become people of depth and compassion through embracing mystery.

The religions have a precious cargo, but they often fail in their job by moralizing, intellectualizing, and defending themselves to such an extent that their real purpose is obscured. Today people all over the world are abandoning the religions in disgust and anger. Still, everyone has a an instinct for transcendence. People know intuitively that some kind of spiritual life is necessary, and so many are searching on their own or joining new churches and communities. They distinguish sharply between the personal spirituality they have found and the religious institution they have abandoned.

- Thomas Moore "The Soul's Religion"

I would say that a majority of the people who attend are unaware of the inherent limitations of organized religion. Some are willing to overlook the limitations because of the benefit they get from it (social, moral, intellectual etc.). Some are frustrated and angry, but see no other option for a spiritual life (That was me for a long time). Some play the system for their benefit. Some just leave and strike out on their own. I guess I have chosen the later.

My experience the last few years has been that people I used to label "unchurched" still sense and long for transcendence. They find it in sex, drugs, music, nature, and anywhere that provides it. The problem is that they find the church completely irrelevant to their lives, so they will not find it there. To make matter worse most corporate expressions of church either don't have a clue or make no room for it. So church becomes more marginalized and "circles the wagons", and the "unchurched" keep looking at Christians like they are from another planet, and the world keeps going 'round.

I really don't have much else to say about it. At the moment organized religion is not relevant to my spirituality either.

Phish-y Thoughts

I saw Phish for the first time last night. It was heavenly in so many ways. It was hellish in a few too.

My neighbor got the tickets and his mom works at The Fox. So we after the chaos of the parking lot we made our way in to the venue. People were hyped and ready to go! We walk into the seating and my neighbor takes us to the desk where he sees his mom's boss and starts chatting. She asks where we are sitting and he tells her the upper balcony. She says, "Oh no. I don't think so", and pulls out the seating chart. There were 8 seats highlighted. She crosses out four and asks one of the ushers to escort us to our new seats. My neighbor went to get our other friends and the usher escorts me down to row E. So I was about 10th row left center!!!!! Not a bad way to start the show!!!

Before the show started I had a chance to look around and absorb the scene. A very interesting crowd. You have to wonder where all these people come from. The tension of the show starting, the haze in the air, the buzz of the crowd. Everyone welcome... I think that people are generally looking for some kind of a transcendent experience, or perhaps to be ushered into an altered state of consciousness. Phish did their job to provide it.

Let me just say that musically Phish is playing on a level from another planet! Trey Anastasio was on! He was playing the most complex stuff with seemingly no effort. Mouth open, eyes closed, he channeled Spirit, painting musical colors on an audio canvass for about 4 hours straight. Key changes, tempo changes mid-song, country, jazz, blues, rock. A combination of Zappa, Pat Metheny, Grateful Dead mixed with some rockabilly. The whole thing was musically amazing. I just really don't have words. It was heavenly in so many ways...

Thinking For Yourself

One of the things I try to do as a parent is get my kids to think for themselves (I'm not always successful.) Kids have lots of reasons not to think for themselves: peer pressure, cultural pressure, fear, lack of information, laziness etc. But if they don't learn to think for themselves it's not a good scene, so parents put a lot of effort into this endeavor. In all honesty, as our kids get older the only thing we can do is provide information, guidance and a framework for them to use and hope for the best.

I've decided to think for myself when it comes to religion. Its been implied by a few friends that some of my conclusions are "out there".

So, is it okay to think for yourself in this area of life? What framework is it okay to explore within? What questions are off the table for you? How do you determine your limits? Where do those limits come from? What has been your experience in thinking for yourself?

On the front porch

Sometimes
When the storm clouds race
Across a pale blue sky
And the sun streams in between them
Nothing matters
But the clouds
And the sky
And the sun

Phishing

I must admit I am pretty excited to go see Phish for the first time.

Falsifying Myself

The forms of Christianity that I have participated in have always imposed morality from the outside. The logic would go like this: If I was a good Christian I would not be angry, lustful, greedy etc. Because I feel these things in my inner life there must be something wrong with me. If there is something wrong with me I need to do something to fix it because I want to be a better Christian. So I would read more, pray more, study more, worship more etc. However, there was no lasting change in my inner self. The anger, greed, lust etc. was still there. My self was being falsified.

To make the situation worse I had disowned these emotions and projected them on others. In essence, I would see in you the emotions and drives that were to painful to see in myself. The emotion or drive within me still existed but appeared to arise from without. So, instead of being angry, I feel that you, or the world, is angry at me. This explains why people can go to church, read the Bible, worship with tears rolling down their cheeks, counsel others etc. and still be blind to the "log" in their own eye. Unfortunately, Western Christianity provides no way to deal with the "shadow" as Ken Wilber calls it.

It is easy to see how institutional religion and fundamentalist belief in the Bible foster this problem. The tremendous pressure to maintain appearances creates guilt and shame over these emotions and drives, which feeds the shadow, forcing me to displace my emotions and drives on those around me, allowing me to assume other's motives, which in turn hurts them which creates more pain, guilt and shame, and on and on.

So, those things that bother us the most about other people are really within us. In order to embrace who we really are and move forward, we need to "re-own" these emotions and drives. So, every time I get pissed off at the kids, or my neighbor doesn't courtesy mow, or there are crumbs in the butter, or think a drive-thru person is rude, or I think someone doesn't like me, or I think someone is totally awesome, or I think the world is against me....I can choose to take a 3rd-person look at what's going on and re-integrate my shadow. By doing so I will become more truly Me.

Trust me. I still have a lot of shadow to integrate.

The Common Air

These are really the thoughts of all men in all ages and
lands, they are not original with me,
If they are not yours as much as mine they are nothing, or
next to nothing,
If they are not the riddle and the untying of the riddle they
are nothing,
If they are not just as close as they are distant they are
nothing.

This is the grass that grows wherever the land is and the
water is,
This is the common air that bathes the globe.

- Walt Whitman

Deconstructing a Personal God

I spent many years trying to experience a “personal” God. The one who communicated with “His people” threw angels, voices, miracles, nature etc. I went to church. I led worship. I read the Bible. I practiced Lectio Divina. Liturgy. I was more orthodox. Tried charismatic emotional outbursts. I had some altered state experiences as a result (in fact, looking back, that is how we used to tell if we had a good worship service or not.) But, a “personal” relationship. No, not really. Maybe I should pray harder, be quieter, act more loving, read more, pay better attention to the sermon, use more emotion, tithe more, understand more….a personal relationship? No, not really.
.
I read The Shack and desired this personal, intimate relationship described, but when life didn’t work out, and when I was depressed, down and confused, when I needed a personal God the most….silence. The problem couldn’t be with God, could it? No. It couldn’t, because he was apparently communicating in a way that was perfectly suited to me because he was perfect and knew me perfectly well…..blah, blah, blah. I was faced with a dilemma. Was the issue me? Was I not really God’s child? Was I really not trying hard enough. Was the issue the Bible? Was it true? Perhaps misinterpreted? Was the problem God? I had asked, sought and knocked and received no answer. I had done everything that I could…it was up to God to communicate or not. Silence.
.
So I had to ask myself. If I was God, and I had a human whom I loved, and that human really desired to commune with me, why would I remain “silent”. Why would I not communicate “clearly”, audibly, visibly? I know. God’s ways are not our ways etc. etc., but isn’t that really used as a copout for when God doesn’t live up to our expectations, or the Bible’s for that matter?
.
Whether the problem was with God, or my understanding of God, or my experience of God or whatever, really didn’t matter. That fact was it was filled with unrealistic, perhaps unreal, expectations that simply did not take place. God seemed fine with it, but I was a wreck.
.
That last few years of my life have been spent “unplugging” from this view of God. Both going “inward” (thought life, meditation, etc) and “outward” (the sciences) to experience God for who he is, not who a particular religion says he is, or just in ways that are “appropriate” for Sundays. My definition of God is far more nebulous than it was years ago. I am comfortable with that. The concept of a personal God simply did not work for me. I had no “proof” of it in my life experience for all my striving, and guilt. I can only say that my life is fuller. I am more able to see beauty all around me. I experience more peace. I see changes in my life. I no longer feel guilty, fearful, anxious.
.
Do I think there is a God? I don’t know, but the something, or someone who created all that we know in our Universe is completely awesome, creative, and seems to never tire of giving. I think this is the “Father” that Jesus was talking about anyway. I can strip away all of the religiousness and LIVE with that.

5 Pound Paper Bag

Jim keeps them coming with "There is no formula. 'Damn! Now what???'" Interesting that there are so many similar journeys and so many afraid to talk about it. There really is no formula, just different experiences and stories. Here is my post:

Thanks for the great post and great comment Jim and everyone! This is where the “rubber meets the road” and there are not very many places and people where you can talk openly about this stuff!

My journey started when I was a boy experiencing spiritual things that were at odds with my lifestyle, but more recently started with one question: “What is Church?” that led to “What is the Bible?” that led to “Who or what is Jesus?” that led to What is common in all religions?” that led to “What is the Universe?” that led to “What is reality?” that led to “What are thoughts and emotions?” that led to “What is enlightenment?” that led to “What am I?” and “Who am I?” that led to Nothing. I am sure you have your own questions to answer in this deal. Just chase them down the rabbit hole.

It has been a long, slow process of unplugging from the questionable beliefs and downright lies I was taught, believed and functioned in. At least it seems long to me. To others it probably seems like I have completely flipped on my head the last couple of years. I can only say that I felt like I was “cramming 10 lbs of shit in a 5 lb paper bag” as my dad always said, and I needed to unload for some new groceries. The Universe and all my experiences could no longer be contained in my religious beliefs. One question: What is Church? Caused the whole house of cards to begin falling. Religion, politics, nationalism, self-identity….laying in a heap on floor. I guess you could say this process has been a form of self-psychotherapy. Some have used the word Spiritual Autolysis to describe using discernment to strip away the false-beliefs and false- Self.

I kept experiencing things that were “outside” of my fundamentalist view of Christianity and for which I had no context or definition. I’ve had a voracious appetite for new information. Not for it’s sake, but more for confirmation and expansion of worldview. When the student was ready the teacher showed up via books, friends, youtube, websites etc. I studied spirituality, mysticism, science, philosophy. From what I gather from others this is part of the journey. I am not afraid of “knowledge”. In the end it just saying of something that is, “that it is”. The interesting thing is that when you really strip away all the BS there is not much you can say “that it is” about. (Hope that makes sense.)

Somewhere among all the turmoil, the seeking, the searching, the striving just ends. I don’t know if it is a permanent thing, but it’s almost like life is a wonderful dream where I can choose to enter in and participate whenever I choose, but always realizing it is as a dream. Honestly, at the end of your life when you look back at all you’ve done, said, lived, loved….it is nothing more than a beautiful, tragic dream. Why fight it? It’s like there is a complete difference between looking at a tree and categorizing it, labeling it, analyzing it, finding it’s flaws and perfections; and just being with it with none of those thoughts in mind. But, then again, I’m probably crazy.

For me, peace, freedom, joy etc. are by-products of this Spiritual Autolysis. I used to seek them, desire them, strive after them. Now it’s more like they are always there when I choose to access them (which I don‘t always do). I’ve had to come to an understanding between the difference of “enlightenment” and “spirituality” (please don‘t get caught up in the terms.). For me spirituality is an additive process and enlightenment is subtractive. Which I guess means that one can be “spiritual” but not “unplugged“. Perhaps that is why some people possess beliefs and some people’s beliefs possess them. I guess I have traveled through the spiritual to the unplugged without really thinking about what was going on before it was to late.

Another by-product has been that things like religion, politics, nationalism, spirituality seem like wastes of time. I just view them as another layer of “groceries” that I had to unpack, and my 5 lb bag is full with reality. It’s not that I disrespect or disdain any of them. It’s just that they really don’t matter from my point of view. I’m sure that can come off as disrespect, so I’ll have to think of more tender ways to communicate.

I’m sure there is more to write, but that’s too much for now.

Fear of Nothingness

Another good post by Jim at Divine Nobodies and my response:

You're tackling a tough topic here. In our culture two topics are usually off the table: sex and death. This post may touch both.

What I'll say are just my opinions and experiences. Not trying to challenge anybody or any beliefs. This is just my journey in stripping away the BS to try to find the truth. Forgive me if this is long. It’s a deep topic that I’m still trying to put into words.

Early man must have looked up at the stars and saw the sky that never changed, and seemed to exist forever, and felt so small and insignificant....watching loved ones die after 20, 10, 5 years....and the ego desiring to last forever like the moonless night sky....suffering.

We have an ego that wants to survive at all costs. We have a strong desire to be remembered. Hence, tombstones, crosses along the highway, monuments, striving to accomplish things that will "last" etc. If we are interested in truth however, we will eventually have to admit that all of this is futile. The fact is that in a couple of generations we will be all but forgotten (How much do you really know about your great-great-Grandfather and his hopes, dreams, personality etc.?). Or perhaps one of your accomplishments will make it to the history books, but someone else will use just use it as a springboard for something "new and improved" making it just another step in our evolution. The truth is that our whole world could be wiped out in an instant by an asteroid that rubbed up against another one a few years ago. One way or another, the ego loses the battle of Nothingness.

Nothingness, No-self, Emptiness. What do we know? We know the Universe is expanding and reversing the process seems to have come from Nothingness. We know that evolution on the earth is not so neat and clean as some scientists would have us believe. It appears likely that new species appeared "out of nowhere" in waves of creativeness. We know that when we close our eyes for a length of time without falling asleep (now that's a trick!) the Nothingness within is expansive and vast and scary and, if you get there, perhaps, beautiful.

The truth is we don't know where we come from and we don't know where we are going. There are all kinds of theories and stories, both scientific and religious. But we don't KNOW. That's a problem for us. We want security. We want to be certain about everything, especially the most important things. But we can't. So, even in the midst of religion and spirituality we experience a mostly present low level of anxiety.

Most of our fears and anxieties come down to a fear of death, fear of no-Self, and/or a fear of Nothingness. When I choose to attach my identity to a particular teacher, philosophy, religion etc. what happens when that teacher, philosophy, belief system or religion is questioned or criticized? I take it personal, as if someone was directly attacking ME, and because my ego wants to survive I react with anger, which is usually caused by fear. Fear of what? Nothingness. Fear that if what I have attached my identity to is nothing, than “I” will be nothing.

Questions like: Why am I here? Who am I? What am I? Where did I come from? Where will I go? These are the questions that religion tries to answer with elaborate stories to ease our fears. Speaking for myself, the pat answers religion offered just didn’t cut it. In my darkest, most honest moments, I still found it there, gnawing away at my peace.

For me honesty has been the answer. What do I REALLY know after all the stories and myths are stripped away? That I was born. I will die. I don’t know what happened before I was born and I don’t know what will happen after I die. I have clues, or hunches based on what I know about the Universe and about my interior life, and anything more than that quickly delves into the realm of BS. This short glimpse of consciousness that I have been given is a temporary, beautiful gift, making each person and each situation priceless.

When I began to dabble in meditation (still really dabbling I guess) one of my first experiences was the Nothingness within. It was like I was falling into a void that would never end and for awhile I would snap myself out of it because it was scary. But one time I let go….and found myself “floating” in this beautiful, creative void. Peaceful and serene with nothing to fear. And I thought, “If this is what death is like I have no fear of it.” Life has been a little bit different since then.

Afraid of Nothing

I've been rather quiet here as of late. That usually means I am experiencing and processing new things. It seems to be my pattern of life. Learn, grow, settle, rest, Learn, grow, settle rest... I'm cool with it.

Here is a response to a post on Divine Nobodies (slightly edited). I was overly tired when I wrote it, but I think its getting to the core of where I am at, and possibly where I am going. Feel free to "push back". I am just trying to put into words, what I'm not sure can be put into words. A finger pointing at the moon.

I can really only speak about my journey. I’ve been “restless” most of my life. Feeling like there was something I was missing in life. I’ve given myself fully to various belief systems only to find them incomplete, only partially true at best. I’ve also had the experience of “unplugging” from those systems of belief which is not always pretty, and quite often painful. From my small experience, I would say you are on the right track with this post Jim!

The journey for me is about the “truth”. What is true? Who am I? What am I? Ruthlessly stripping away the illusions and delusion and seeing life for what it is. As I strip away what is "false" I am left with more of what is "true". Looking back threw my blog posts I would say that is exactly what I've been doing.

I will be blunt and honest, as usual. After studying several different religions with an eye for what they had in common, it all has come down to “Oneness”. Every religion has a mystical strain that sees all life as One, that sees the “Father” in all things, in all people. There is a place from which everything is born and that place also exists within us. It is the place where we commune internally with God. Some may call it non-dual awareness. Some may choose to call it the Holy Spirit.

I do know that I have increasingly experienced, and continue to experience, this abiding peace you talk about. A place of non-struggle, non-anxiety, I guess you could call it peace. It has been born from pain, struggle, anxiety and delusion. And it thrives when I simply accept life for what it is, not judging, just being. It is not something that I necessarily cultivate. It just is.

I think human-kind is afraid of nothingness. We are afraid of not existing, and the ego wants to exist eternally. So we have developed complex myths and fairy tales to soothe our fear. The problem is that nothingness still exists, religion just tries to change the blackness to dark gray so we can stomach it, or forget about it, and go on with our overly-busy lives and small identities.

Attempting to understand and comprehend God is a necessary part of the journey. One that ends in futility, leaving us with further to go if we care about what is true.

Peace you you all!

Universal Randomness

As we float threw space on this ball we call earth. It is easy to get caught up in the small things of life. Our identities are so easily taken captive by things that, in the end, will not matter.

The Iron and Calcium that courses threw our blood came from an exploding star in the distant past. An exploding star, that may have had planets, part of a galaxy, part of the Universe.

It easy to forget that WE are a part of the Universe, and as such, when we look into the sky we are looking into the mirror.

The Universe looking at itself.

Unplugging

Is it possible to accurately critique your own belief system without unplugging from it? In other words, can a fish see water for what it really is while it's experience has been immersed in it?

Have you ever tried to unplug from a belief system? How did it turn out?

Our Judgments

I'm out of the news loop, so I'm just hearing about Susan Boyle. If you have not watch this. Isn't it interesting that people in the audience had tears in their eyes and were genuinely moved? Perhaps we are unaware of the constant state of judging that we live in.

How many times have I missed the "beautiful song" because of my initial judgment?

Finding Common Ground

Whatever your religion it seems there are some similar spiritual experiences and conclusions that exist across religions and geographical boundaries. When there are a few items that the most advanced forms of religion agree on across the world, it's worth checking out. Perhaps these are spiritual currents that exist in the universe, or just our world? It seems to imply that we are hardwired for for these spiritual realities.

I'd like to throw a short list of ideas that these traditions seem to agree upon. This list is certainly partial, but I'd love to use them to get the conversation started (taken from Integral Life Practice).

1. Spirit, by whatever name exists, and it is good, true, beautiful and loving.

2. Spirit, although existing "out there," is also found "in here", or revealed within to the open heart and mind

3. Most of us don't realize this Spirit within because we are living in seperation, sin, or duality - that is, we are living in an illusory, fallen, or fragmented state.

4. There is a way out of this separated state (of illusion, separation, sin or disharmony); there is a path to our liberation.

5. If we follow this path to its conclusion, the result is an awakening, a rebirth, salvation, or enlightenment, a direct experience of union with Spirit both within and without (and neither), a supreme liberation.

6. This supreme liberation marks the dissolution or transcendence of illusion, sin, and/or suffering, and manifests in care and courage, service, social action, mercy, and compassion on behalf of the whole sentient Kosmos.

A few of my thoughts:

So, does list include your particular religious belief? If these spiritual patterns exist among all spiritual traditions, does it suggest something deeper going on? Could a Christian, Muslim, Jew, Buddhist generally agree on this list? It seems there would be no way around leaving behind the belief that one's religion is the ONLY true path if this list is accurate.

Looking forward to hearing your thoughts.

Easter UFC

Didn't Paul say something like: Everyone should bring a punch, kick, or elbow?

This is kinda funny in a sad sort of way...

Of Apples and People

The ego tells us we are separated, that we are detached from the rest of the world. And this makes sense. We experience the world only through our limited perspective, as if everything IS separate from ourselves. Our societal and political structures bear this out. Most of us blindly go about our day without a thought of how we are connected to the environment, let alone each other.

In the West we are taught that we are a special creation of God, and are supposed to "rule over" creation. I've given little thought to the ecological system that I am a part of. I don't think it's just me either, Western society doesn't do much better as we blindly consume any resources we can find.

But like the ego itself, this separateness is an illusion. We cannot have any sense of "I" without seeing the background of the "I". We cannot know ourselves without knowing our family, our neighborhood, our culture, our planet, our universe...

We use language that portrays our feeling of separateness too. We are "born into" this world aren't we? No, not really. In truth, we are "born out" of the world. We are made of the same stardust that the ants, and trees, and grass are made of. Without the warmth and light of the sun, without the atmosphere, without gravity...we would cease to exist.

Alan Watts says that we call apple trees, "apple trees", because they "apple"(verb). If a flying saucer came to visit our planet they might say, "Oh, look. The earth is "peopling"(verb). "Peopling" is just what the earth does, and we are all beautiful, ripening "fruit" (in the vegetative sense of course).

Jesus said, we should die to the old and live in the new. Take on a new identity. A new Self. Perhaps part of that new identity is understanding that we really aren't separate from the world...from the universe...from God. We are simply an extension of the world, the universe, and God. We are an appendage of something much bigger, and more beautiful than our skin encapsulated egos. And looked at in the right way, perhaps, we are the universe.

So here is to all you ripening apples out there. Peace!

Post-Christian America?

A few interesting articles coming out these days....

The End of Christian American

Christians At The Gate

What do you think? Are we headed for a post-Christian America? What does it mean to the Church? What does it mean to your spiritual walk?

All In All and Us

If God really is "All in All". It must mean that He is bigger than the entire universe, smaller than the smallest particle, and at the same time infused in everything. Considering that humankind falls in the middle of that spectrum, what does that make us?

Stewart vs. Cramer

I might vote for Jon Stewart. Poor Cramer looks like a deer in the headlights.

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

Jim Cramer Interview Outtake Pt. 1

Daily Show Full Episodes
Important Things With Demetri Martin

Political Humor
Economic Crisis

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

Jim Cramer Interview Outtake Pt. 2

Daily Show Full Episodes
Important Things With Demetri Martin

Political Humor
Economic Crisis

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

Jim Cramer Interview Outtake Pt. 3

Daily Show Full Episodes
Important Things With Demetri Martin

Political Humor
Economic Crisis

Life

Reminder: John Stossel is on 20/20 tomorrow night talking about "Bullshit in America".

Everyone has had the flu in our house. I'm the last one standing, and my "standing" hasn't been that good either since I've been having back problems. So, not much time to post...

Trish and I went to a benefit concert and saw Vitamen A and The Schwag. I must say that Vitamen A gave me hope for the St. Louis music scene. All of them look like computer programmers, but put on a good show. I guess you could call them a jamband influenced by Phish, The Police, and the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Catchy, good energy, talented musicians. They have influenced me to get my chops back up so I've been bringing my guitar to work.

I'd like to get a jamband together doing everything from originals to Allman Brothers, to Bob Marley, to hardcore funk, to alt-country....

Had a great conversation with Trish about our "shadow" and how she has chosen to confront certain attractions and aversions in her life. I miss "Wonderful Wednesdays"...sigh...

By the way, Divine Nobodies is asking some interesting questions about how forgiveness and the resurrection effects your life today....

US

Stardust dancers
Unique and One
Broken and beautiful
Possibilities and perceptions
Bursting into bloom
Rooted in source
Shimmering
In light
Dancing to the secret
Unheard
Song
Of God

A clear sign of a broken government.

Politicians need to get some balls and say "No!" to earmarks.

I admit it. I am still a registered Republican from my "less conservative" days. I am unregistering. I received a fund raising "questionnaire" from John Cornyn that read like a Republican talking points bulletin from the 1990s. The same issues, the same stands. Same B.S. Then I watched a couple minutes of the hearings with Geithner today and the Democrats did nothing but blame Republicans and sit atop there platform and propose versions of class warfare.

Politicians just don't get it. Our nations problems are to complex for either party to deal with. They are to intertwined with special interests and to interested in getting earmarks regardless of greater needs. We need another way. I hoped Obama would be the impetus, but it's not looking good....

Bullshit in America

For those of you who are tired of the same old conservative/liberal dualism, and looking for another choice....

John Stossel's new show, "Bullshit in America", will air Friday, March 13. John Stossel is one of the few libertarians that have a voice in mainstream media. He will be interviewing Drew Carey, another libertarian, about immigration reform, medical marijuana, eminent domain abuse and much more.

Take a look at the topics and take some time to educate yourself here.

One

As part of my spiritual inquiry I've been looking for the common thread in our world's religions, believing that what is common to us all must be closer to a "real" God. Perhaps the answer is mysticism.

When I was in a fundamentalist Baptist bible college and you mentioned the word "mysticism" the professors gave you the raised eyebrow and wondered if you'd been puffin' the green after chapel. I was told once by the guy preaching in our church that God didn't actively communicate with people in our time and anyone who thought so was in serious error because all we needed was "God's word". Fundamentalism at its best.

On the other hand I've watched things like The Secret and What the Bleep that tries to merge mysticism and science but really is just a form of magic in disguise. I've hung with good meaning, but irrational people who told us we shouldn't eat any candy for two weeks after Halloween because it was "the Devil's candy." Irrationality at its best.

But there are mystics who have transcended both fundamentalism and irrationality. There are people in this world who have delved into the interior of themselves, and interestingly, all found similar things.

Trish and I stumbled across "One: The Movie" this week. It is a documentary inspired by a guy who woke up one morning with an idea: To make a movie that asks people on the street 20 important questions about life. The problem was he had no experience in the film industry. With no experience and little budget he set out and winds up getting interviews with not just people on the street, but some of the greatest mystics of our time. If you are seeking a broad view of spirituality and mysticism I would recommend it.

Here's what I liked and noticed:

The movie is a view of the spiritual landscape from a pluralistic point of view. Mystic strains of Christianity, Buddhism, Hinduism, Sufism etc. are all presented with an open point of view. If you would like to see how people from a postmodern/pluralistic worldview view spirituality, this is as good as any.

I've been interested in what is common among world religions. Mysticism is one of the obvious candidates. EVERY major religion has a form of mysticism, and interestingly enough, they all have come to very similar conclusions.

In my experience Christianity has caused more issues then it has helped, however, I think the issue is really fundamentalism. In this movie the Christian and Islamic fundamentalist have very small, trite answers to the big questions of life. For instance, when asked about the meaning of life the fundamentalist says it is to "make a decision to accept Jesus or not". Sigh...I understand where he coming from, but that answer is just not satisfactory to me today. I see a world to diverse and complex for that answer to work for me today.

When asked to describe God, or what is the meaning of life? those with smaller worldviews have clear-cut answers; those with real knowledge can't help but laugh. I can't help but giggle when I hear the first guy's response in the clip below.

Life lived with intense awareness of the hear-and-now is amazing.

The oneness in the middle of our uniqueness is beautiful and God-filled.

Is there a difference in the questions: What is the meaning of life? and What is the meaning in life?

What is the meaning of life?

Describe God.

Seeking Happiness?

We seek happiness in our mother and father before we can speak, but when they cannot understand our cries, we suffer.

We seek happiness in our possessions, but when they break or get stolen, we suffer.

We seek happiness in friendships and marriage, and we find our flaws in others, and we suffer.

We seek happiness in sex, but happiness is not found in a spasm, so we suffer.

We seek happiness in religion, but happiness is not found in buildings, hierarchy or structure, so we suffer.

We seek happiness anywhere we can find it.

Perhaps happiness is not found in seeking, but expression.

Stimulis - Because All Economies Have Performance Issues

What about this as a REAL option?

Derek Trucks - Sahib Teri Bandi

Derek Trucks is coming to St. Louis on Feb. 24th. I do believe I will be there.

This is one my favorite songs of his.

Love the groove! Live the groove!



Or if you prefer rock/blues, Mr. Trucks can go there.

Obama - From Hope to Fear?

It seems that our new president has gone from a person of hope to a person of fear. I've been listening to him trying to use the bully-pulpit to persuade Republicans to vote for the stimulus, and quite honestly, it is the same old tactics of instilling fear in the American public....boring....

In his speech last night he started with this (highlights mine):

"And that is why the single most important part of this economic recovery and reinvestment plan is the fact that it will save or create up to 4 million jobs, because that's what America needs most right now.

It is absolutely true that we can't depend on government alone to create jobs or economic growth. That is and must be the role of the private sector. But at this particular moment, with the private sector so weakened by this recession, the federal government is the only entity left with the resources to jolt our economy back into life.

It is only government that can break the vicious cycle, where lost jobs lead to people spending less money, which leads to even more layoffs. And breaking that cycle is exactly what the plan that's moving through Congress is designed to do.

When passed, this plan will ensure that Americans who've lost their jobs through no fault of their own can receive greater unemployment benefits and continue their health care coverage."

Then later:

"Now, despite all of this, the plan's not perfect. No plan is. I can't tell you for sure that everything in this plan will work exactly as we hoped, but I can tell you with complete confidence that a failure to act will only deepen this crisis, as well as the pain felt by millions of Americans."

One minute "Super Government and Superman" will save 4 million jobs (and I'm not sure where he is getting that number anyway), and the next he's not so sure. But the "fact" is that we are being asked to mortgage our children's and grandchildren's future to pass a stimulus package that our fearless leader is not even sure will work. This doesn't give me a "warm-fuzzy".

Christianity, Science and Culture - A Man Without a Home

I am neither especially intelligent or talented as anyone knows who reads this blog. I have documented parts of my journey, and the thoughts behind it, for the past six years. I post this because I suspect there are others that are "losing their religion". Struggling to make sense of the world as seen threw their current religious framework. Living with an uneasy, gnawing feeling that their has to be something more. Stuck between worlds, with an inner longing for transcendence, and a deeper, more full reality, yet feeling trapped by religious values that conflict with science and culture. Feeling confined, limited, restricted....like something is about to be born.

I've found myself frustrated, conflicted, confused, depressed, and even angry on this journey. Looking back, I was a person without a home, torn between mythic religion, rational science and pluralistic culture. I was part of a religious system that provided no support or framework to make sense of the fragmentation of my soul.

I had given my life to that which was of "ultimate concern". I found myself in a church full of people who loved deeply, but were in the middle of moving from a magic faith to a mythic faith. From belief that when someone was baptized "every hair and part of the person needed to be submerged for salvation", to "we aren't sure who we are as a church, but we are together as a family". It was a move from magic values to mythic values, from egocentric to ethnocentric. For someone looking to belong, ethnocentric values suited me fine.

However, over time I began to feel "confined" by my religion. I assumed the problem was the structure of the church, uneducated church leadership, worship style, etc. I wasn't sure what, but I knew something was missing, something was wrong, something was askew. I noticed the inconsistencies of church culture as compared with the words of Jesus. I went to Bible college and learned about a text to be worshiped, dogma to be adhered to, not a God to be loved. We were divorced from culture, ignorant of art, isolated by science, and for all the love we had for each other, we inadvertently excluded others on the basis of race, sexual identity and religious belief. The subtle and not so subtle spiritual arrogance gnawed at me, and I was in a constant state of unsettledness.

Perhaps, I have a better understanding about what was going on during this past six years. It seems to boil down to three things: mythic Christianity, rational science and postmodern cultural values. Three distinct sets of values, and ways of viewing and being in the world. Three ways that God has shown himself in humanity. Three ways that my soul was torn.

Maybe I misunderstood my journey. For a long time I thought it was about the "church", but perhaps my journey could be interpreted as a journey through worldviews. A searching for a framework that would allow the best of a pre-rational mythic worldview, the best of rationality and science, and the best of pluralistic values. Unfortunately, the forms of Christianity that I was exposed to were not flexible enough to provide such a framework. So I began to search elsewhere.

With one foot in thoroughly in mythic religion, another foot in rational science and (I don’t, know pick another appendage) in pluralism, I found myself restricted, confined, squeezed into a mythic religious worldview that kept getting smaller. The truths of the other worldviews rumbling around in my unconscious, unable to come to terms with my understanding of what was of “ultimate concern” and causing my discomfort.

So I found myself moving from one worldview, one stage of awareness, to the next with no framework to understand it. One part of me clinging desperately to my religious worldview that was increasingly becoming smaller and more confined. Afraid to be out of the “umbrella of protection” of the church. Fearful of losing friends. The word “heretic” buzzing around in my head. Yet all the time subconsciously knowing, the myth was dead. So, I found myself conflicted, confused, depressed. . .

Moving from one worldview to the next is like being squeezed through a tube and reborn into a more roomy home. It must be similar to the experience a baby has at childbirth (and perhaps death). The comfortable, close quarters of the womb becomes restricted in the end, and the baby must escape and be born into a new world with expanded possibilities, more relational opportunities, a broader worldview. A worldview that, unfortunately, will likely be labeled heretical by mythic forms of fundamentalist Christianity.

Human values have unfolded over time. You may argue this point, but the data is fairly conclusive. Looked at from a 50,000 ft. view, science and postmodern critiques have dismantled mythic religion. Individuals and churches that hold on to mythic values and worldviews find themselves increasingly marginalized and isolated. The "circle the wagons" rhetoric continues by those firmly grounded in mythic belief systems and any attempts of inclusivity or reinterpreting the Bible and Jesus for higher stages of awareness are reacted to with vicious intent (Here is an example from a brother I attended church with and love. It is typical rhetoric of an ethnocentric, mythical value system.)

Fundamentalist Christianity is rooted in a mythic worldview. It comes out of a value system that is ethnocentric - it looks at the world from the perspective of ones own culture (which incidentally, everyone does to a greater or lesser extreme) and is primarily concerned with the preservation of that culture. The mythic worldview sees life in terms of black and white, good and evil, and because it is primarily ethnocentric, if you do not have the same belief system as the predominant culture, you are isolated by the rest of the group in one way or another. So, there is always pressure to "toe the line" of doctrine and belief. Rules and roles are typically rigid and unbending and are not supposed to be challenged.

Let me be clear. There is nothing wrong with a mythic worldview in an of itself. It is a necessary step in human development, and there is absolutely a place for it. It's just not the only place, and several stages of awareness have emerged since its heyday. A mythic worldview becomes unhealthy when it looks at any worldview that came after it, and declares it as false; or when it views other cultures, ideas etc. as wrong in and of themselves because they are different from “the clan“. A mythic worldview simply cannot accept any worldview that will challenge its own. For example, think about the fact that many Christians reduce Postmodernity to "not allowing for ultimate truth", when the Postmodern critique is actually much more complex than that. To make matters worse, the fact is, that we cannot really "see" worldviews that are at a higher altitude. In other words, it is impossible for someone at a mythic worldview to experience the world from a rational or pluralistic worldview, and will therefore reduce other worldviews to threats and must declare them as dangerous and false. Dialogue about these issues will degrade into the being "kicked out of the club". So it provides a limited framework to fit the experiences and knowledge of other cultures and worldviews. It either discounts science or tries to twist it for its own purpose, interpreting the data through a grid of mythical thought. It leaves little room for discussion, little room for dialogue.

Unfortunately, attempts at a rational form of Christianity has not fared much better. Pragmatic approaches to church, such as Willow Creek have just exacerbated the consumerism, egotism and narcissism that is typical of orange/rational values gone bad (and leaks into postmodern values too). Ken Wilber calls this "boomeritis". The churches reaction to the pluralistic values of postmodernity are still "emerging", led by people like Brian McLaren, Rob Bell, and Spencer Burke. However, many of these small groups of people are merely clinging to an ideal of "community" that is nothing more than a return to ethnocentricism, a way that makes themselves "set apart".

There are ways to overcome these issues that does not do away with your faith, but expands it. Making faith more inclusive, more caring, more concerned, more complex, more comprehensive. It does not throw out mythic, rational or pluralistic worldviews, but integrates them, allowing us to see reality in all its complex beauty. Frameworks that allow the best of pre-rational, rational, and trans-rational thought.

I don't know if this is the completely "right way" to view my experience. Time will tell. I will say that it takes into account all of my phenomenological and relational experiences in church, and does not discount science or culture. I have a framework that allows me to hold the "I, We and It" of life together in a holistic fashion. I am able to see the beauty and perspectives of other religions and cultures. The world has become more beautiful. I still see God in the beauty of nature and in the eyes of my children. God is unfolding the universe, and human kind along with it, in what appears to be waves of consciousness or awareness. And I am aware of, and participating in that fact. God is far bigger than my mythic beliefs would allow. I have room to stretch, and breathe in God's continuing display.

I suspect some will view me as no longer “in the club”, and that is okay. While I can choose to leave behind a mythic framework of understanding the world, I cannot leave behind the mythic worldview that has helped form me. It has been integrated, and I just see it for what it is: a stage in the evolutionary process of a human being named Roger.

As always, I would love to hear your thoughts. For those interested in understanding how I’ve come to these conclusions. Here are some links that may help you on your journey.

Introduction to Integral Theory and Practice

Colors of Thinking in Spiral Dynamics

A Spirituality That Transforms

The History of Mysticism

An Integral Spirituality

The News - Quick Hits

Daschle withdraws his name because he didn't pay taxes....yet he has spent his carrier spending my taxes....hmmm....Wonder if he'll do any time for that....? I'd be surprised.

Michael Phelps is caught hitting the bong. 14 Olympic gold medals. 8 medals at one Olympics. Holds more records than I care to type....I bet other swimmers test positive for cannabis at the next Olympics. It may be on the next Wheaties box.

Knowledge of the Universe

I love the show The Universe. It does a great job making the latest knowledge about our universe accessible to common-folk in. I caught this episode one night as I was fighting off a coma from lack of sleep.

I was struck by how human's knowledge of the universe "transcends and includes". We discover something new and the next person uses that knowledge as a platform to jump to the next level of understanding. Exactly what Integral Theory sees as "evolution".

I also noticed how the different conclusions correlate with stages of awareness. From pre-rational to rational to trans-rational. From premodern to modern to postmodern. From egocentric to ethnocentric to worldcentric. As human's develop, the universe appears to keep getting bigger. Perhaps co-created?

Anyway, I hope you enjoy the history of our knowledge of the universe....

The Spiraling Jesus

So, lets say that you were contemplating your favorite spiritual text, and you decide to close your eyes. You experience a phenomenon of inner light and a feeling of universal love. (This is a state of consciousness as opposed to a stage.) Or, lets say you were hiking through the mountains and at the edge of the highest cliff you see a majestic snow capped mountain with green fields below and you feel "oneness and peace" with the awesome beauty before you.You have experienced a state of reality that is not part of your normal waking life. What do you do with it? How do you interpret this experience? What influences your interpretation? All of the major religions deal with this phenomenon and each may interpret this experience differently. Additionally, you will interpret your experience according the STAGE of development you gravitate towards. (Here is a link for the Stages of Awareness.)

So, lets also say that the person has a "we" that is Western Christianity that provides the context for interpretation. The chances are this person will describe this phenomenon as an experience with the Jesus and/or the Holy Spirit. This experience can occur at any stage, but will be interpreted within the "limiting principles" of that stage.

Here is an example from Ken Wilber's "Integral Spirituality":

Magic Stage - Jesus is experienced as a personal savior who can miraculously alter the world in order to satisy my desire and whim: Jesus as Magician, turning water into wine, multiplying loaves and fishes, walking on water (Jesus may or may not have actually walked on water, but at this stage, this is the thing that would matter most to me). This stage is preconventional and egocentric, so Jesus only cares about me.

Mythic Stage - The same kind of subtle-state experience might be interpreted as communion with Jesus the Eternal Truth bringer. This stage is absolutistic in its beliefs, so you will either believe the Word exactly as written, or you will burn in hell forever. This stage is also ethnocentric, so only those who believe in Jesus Christ as their personal savior can be saved.

Mental/Rational Stage - Jesus Christ becomes a humanized figure, still fully divine and fully human, but now fully human in a more believable way, as teacher of the universal love of a Deistic God (who has read Principia Mathmatica and knows where to draw the line). Because this stage is the beginning of the postconventional and worldcentric stages, this is also the first stage of development that can find salvation through Christ Jesus but also allow that others might find equal salvation through a different path. You will moving in Vatican II fashion.

Pluralistic Stage - You will likely find yourself one of the authors of the Postmodern Bible, an example of interpreting Jesus Christ and the Christ-experience through the lens of "green stage" development.

Integral Stage - For Gebser this was one stage, but Integral Theory sees this as the opening to at least four higher structure-stages of development, any of which will insist on integrating its experience of Christ-consciousness with other expressions of the Holy Spirit around the world, and if so in your case you might also be interested in Integral Theory. (Frankly, any earlier/lower stages of development would simply not find this topic interesting. But if we do pat ourselves on the back, let it still be with humility: whatever stage we might be at, there are always higher stages; and somewhere, someplace, in some universe or dimension, somebody is writing a text that is over our heads. . . )

So, the same state, experienced the same way, can be interpreted in a variety of different ways in the same religion. Heck, often in the same church! Add to this the fact that the inner "I", the part of us that experiences the phenomenon, is unaware of these structure/levels (which leads to all sorts of problems), coupled with the fact that we are inconsistent in how we define terms, and we get all kinds of mis-communication and grief.

Wilber also claims that people functioning in earlier/lower stages can not see the higher/later stages, so the more complex stages are dismissed as inaccurate etc. What Wilber means is that someone can conceptually understand the higher levels, but they cannot tell you what is like to have a first-person experience in those levels. So, a person at a lower level and a person at a higher level may share the exact same experience and interpret them completely differently.

For example, someone who is interpreting life and experience in Mythic/Blue will always view the world in "black and white". There is only one "right way" to think about anything. They will see life as rule based and will function bound by laws and regulations. Violating these rules gets you booted out of the "club". So for instance, when a person functioning in a Mythic awareness dialogues with a person in Pluralistic/Green (who sees many points of view), the Mythic Blue person will judge and ostracize the Pluralistic/Green because he/she simply cannot see that worldview and therefore completely discounts it as rubbish. Sound familiar to anyone?

In conclusion, I think these Stages of Awareness matter when it comes to spirituality. We can only act on what we are aware of. If being conscious of these Stages helps me to interpret my personal experience and life more accurately, and communicate with people better (at least understand where they are coming from, sometimes real communication just won't happen), then I consider it helpful. In addition, I think there a lot of other questions that may be answered:

What are the implications for church?

Do you think people at a particular stage tend to gravitate towards the same church? Does this explain the concept of "liberal" and "conservative" churches?

Can you think of people you know that gravitate toward a particular stage?

What are the implications in communication? Do particular stages use different vocabulary? Maybe even expanded vocabulary as each stage is open to expanded "I, We and Its"? Does this explain why when we talk about religion and spirituality we often wind up in disagreements and misunderstandings?

Inaugural Thought

I guess I am a little jaded by all the political hoopla. In the words of Ben Harper in "Black Rain" I think the spin doctors have been "Selling false hope like some new dope we're addicted to."

I think there is a reason that young people are motivated by Barak Obama though, and it is really the only thing that I "hope" for. I hope we have a president that understands and experiences the world in a different way.

I would guess we are moving from a president who thought and experienced the world in Red/Blue to a president that thinks and experiences the world in Orange/Green. I think that's really what the election boiled down to also.

That would mean we have a leader that is moving towards a level of greater complexity, creativity, concern and care. That is something to "hope" for.

For further reading from someone much more astute than I.

"How can the same leader ask Reverend Warren to provide an inaugural invocation; seek an unprecedented Keynesian stimulus package; seek to further socialize health care; have a private dinner with leading conservative intellectuals; and consider how to rein in devastating and unrealistic long-term social security and Medicare liabilities? How, indeed. Embodying an integral view of the world, by definition, means seeking to integrate, to fully include everyone under the umbrella while also transcending the narrowness and partiality of each. (This, incidentally, is why every group that looks at Obama claims him as “one of them.” This is the ultimate litmus test of an integral leader.) A great leader is one whose sense of self is not threatened by a vigorous war of ideas, and an integral leader is one who wages the war from a worldview of love and abundance."