Conversations

Brenden is 4 years old and says some pretty funny stuff sometimes.

Brenden: Is it tomorrow?
Me: Nope, it's today!
Brenden: Ah, man! I thought it was tomorrow!

In all our knowledge and eloquence this is probably how we sound to God....

Check List

It never fails to surprise me how people can misconstrue things. We have a knack of looking at other people's actions through the filter of our own insecurities and turning them into something they are not....sigh.....

Just for the record I'd like to make a list of my failings so there are no questions:

Failure as a husband (check)
Failure as a father (check)
Failure as a son (check)
Failure as a friend (check)
Failure as an employee (check)
Failure as a worship leader (check)
Failure as a small group leader (check)
Failure as a Christian (check)

I'm sure there are many more.....and still.....He Loves Me!

Do yourself a favor and download Wayne's free book!

Learning to Receive

We haven't been in the best financial position as of late, and the pastor at our church dropped off a Christmas present. It was a $650 check that said it was from "our friends"! I was floored! Now, it's okay if I do that for someone else, but you can't do that for me!!! You see, I have a lot to learn about receiving....

It is much easier to give than receive. I don't mind giving until it hurts for those that I know are in need. Especially those I am close to. But, when it comes to being on the receiving end of the gift....that is another story. It is humbling to be the receiver. I don't know about you, but my carnal nature doesn't like humility!

Here is the problem. I HAVE to learn to be a good receiver. I am on the receiving end of my relationship with God. He acted first, I am just reacting. He is giving, I am receiving. If I can't learn how to receive on earth, how can I learn to receive in the spiritual realm?

It does not escape me how much this attitude ties in to my continuing study on tithing. When Paul talks about giving in 2Cor this is what he says:

2Co 8:5 This was totally spontaneous, entirely their own idea, and caught us completely off guard. What explains it was that they had first given themselves unreservedly to God and to us. The other giving simply flowed out of the purposes of God working in their lives.

Mat 10:8 Heal the sick, cleanse the lepers, raise the dead, cast out demons. You have received freely, freely give.

If those who were so generous to us are reading this....Thank you, both for the gift and the reminder of what it means to receive....

Tithing

Sorry for the quiet on the blog-front. I've just been doing other things recently.

Our church organization sent out an update on the pledges that were made for our building. Of course, almost no one is meeting their obligations. Surprised? In it there is an "encouragement" to be working toward giving 10%. I immediately bristle at this stuff, and I refuse to go to any "fundraising" meetings. This time I have been asked by several people in our church what I think about tithing. So, me being the researcher that I am, decided to study the issue. I won't bore you with all the details, but I'll try to summarize what I found and give you a few links for your own study....

• No reference to tithing in the OT refers to money. Lev. 27:30-33 is typical of the passages about tithing. It says that the tithe was to consist of "seed of the land", "fruit of the tree" and "herds".

• Tithes were given to the Levites according to Num. 18:24. There is no temple in Jerusalem today, and no Levite priests to give the tithe to, and it is a serious stretch for pastors to claim themselves as such.

I found this very interesting! Check out Duet. 14:22ff.

Deu 14:22 You shall truly tithe all the increase of your seed that the field brings forth year by year.
Deu 14:23 And you shall eat before Jehovah your God in the place which He shall choose to place His name there, the tithe of your grain, of your wine, and of your oil, and the first-born of your herds and of your flocks, so that you may learn to fear Jehovah your God always.
Deu 14:24 And if the way is too long for you, so that you are not able to carry it, or if the place is too far from you, which Jehovah your God shall choose to set His name there, when Jehovah your God has blessed you,
Deu 14:25 then you shall turn it into silver and bind up the silver in your hand, and shall go to the place which Jehovah your God shall choose.
Deu 14:26 And you shall pay that silver for whatever your soul desires, for oxen, or for sheep, or for wine, or for strong drink, or for whatever your soul desires. And you shall eat there before Jehovah your God, and you shall rejoice, you and your household
Deu 14:27 and the Levite within your gates, you shall not forsake him, for he has no part nor inheritance with you.
Deu 14:28 At the end of three years you shall bring forth all the tithe of your increase the same year, and shall lay it up inside your gates.
Deu 14:29 And the Levite, because he has no part nor inheritance with you, and the stranger, and the fatherless, and the widow, who are inside your gates, shall come, and shall eat and be satisfied, so that Jehovah your God may bless you in all the work of your hand which you do.

Hmmm....probably won't find this passage preached on during the fundraising push.....

• So, the tithe was used to have a time of feasting and communion with your family and those who are less fortunate in the presence of God.

Here's another little preached on passage....

Gen 28:20 And Jacob vowed a vow, saying, If God will be with me, and will keep me in this way that I go, and will give me bread to eat and clothing to put on,
Gen 28:21 and I come again to my father's house in peace, then shall Jehovah be my God.
Gen 28:22 And this stone which I have set for a pillar shall be God's house. And of all that You shall give me, I will surely give the tenth to You.

• Instead of giving the "first tenth" as we are taught today, Jacob's tithing had a condition. God's blessing came first, then the tithe.

So, if the institutional church was trying to follow OT principles on tithing, it would still be in error teaching that you should give 10% no matter what.

( I'm not going to hit the Malachi passages that are often used to support tithing. It would take to much time and its been dealt with at length in the links below.)

The problem really comes to light because we are no longer following the Old Covenant! Jesus fulfilled the Law and sent the Holy Spirit to live in us so that we could follow HIM! We are not under a rule based system any longer, we are in a dynamic relationship with the living God!!!! Here are some of the issues that come to light when trying to maintain the rule of tithing:

• There is no temple in Jerusalem and there is no Levitic priesthood to accept the tithe. In fact, WE are the priests and the temple!!!!
  

Mat 24:1 And Jesus went out and departed from the temple. And His disciples came to Him to show Him the buildings of the temple.
Mat 24:2 And Jesus said to them, Do you not see all these things? Truly I say to you, There shall not be left here one stone on another that shall not be thrown down.

Act 17:24 The God who made the world and all things in it, since He is Lord of Heaven and earth, does not dwell in temples made with hands,

2Co 6:16 And what agreement does a temple of God have with idols? For you are the temple of the living God, as God has said, "I will dwell in them and walk among them; and I will be their God, and they shall be My people."

1Pe 2:9 But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for possession, so that you might speak of the praises of Him who has called you out of darkness into His marvelous light;

• Additionally, in 2Cor. 8 and 9 Paul is encouraging the Corinthians to complete their generosity to the poor Christians in Judea. Check out some key phrases:

2Co 8:5 This was totally spontaneous, entirely their own idea, and caught us completely off guard. What explains it was that they had first given themselves unreservedly to God and to us. The other giving simply flowed out of the purposes of God working in their lives.

2Co 8:12 Once the commitment is clear, you do what you can, not what you can't. The heart regulates the hands.

2Co 9:5 So to make sure there will be no slipup, I've recruited these brothers as an advance team to get you and your promised offering all ready before I get there. I want you to have all the time you need to make this offering in your own way. I don't want anything forced or hurried at the last minute.

2Co 9:7 I want each of you to take plenty of time to think it over, and make up your own mind what you will give. That will protect you against sob stories and arm-twisting. God loves it when the giver delights in the giving.

There is more. But, it becomes clear that we are to give from our heart as we are moved by God's Spirit, not to fulfill the obligations placed on us by external means. Obligations are bondage. If you want to give, then give generously! Give what you can, not what you can't! God can still bless you if you don't give, but you will miss out on the joy of giving!!!!! There is much joy to be found too!

Here are some good links for further study:

Tithing is Unscriptural Under the New Covenant
Tithing vs. Giving of Grace
The Tithing Lie
The Truth About Tithes
Tithes and Offerings Jesus' Way

Our good friend Jamie planned a Thanksgiving Dinner for the less fortunate at our church this year. We had volunteers from six churches in our area to cook the food and serve as volunteers at the event. In our little town it is a miracle to get six churches together to do anything! Heck, the Southern Baptist Church wouldn't come to the Commmunity Thanksgiving Service because a woman was speaking....guess, you gotta take a stand somewhere (insert sarcasm).

Anyway, the dinner was awesome! We had truly needy people show up to eat and have some fellowship. Rich, the gentleman that we sat with, is going to lose his apartment in 2 weeks if he doesn't find a job. He wanted to talk more than eat, and I was happy to oblige. He shared with us the miracles that he sees God doing in his life... Then Jamie packed up to-go boxes with food and sent the teenagers out to the hospital and gas stations to give then a Thanksgiving Dinner. In my opinion, this is one of the few times I've seen our church, or any church in our area, express the heart of Jesus.

Let me tell you about Jamie. Jamie is a fireball. She is the kind of person that won't let anyone stand in her way. I love that about her! She loves to laugh and is the life of the party, and has a heart for the less fortunate. God is doing some cool things in her life! Though our church staff made it difficult to pull this off she forced it through, and once again, God was present when the church existed to bless people with no ulterior motive.

Questions

In his book "Dangerous Wonder," Mike Yaconelli discusses risky curiosity. The risk of asking questions. Mike suggests that people are afraid to ask questions for the following reasons:

1. Questions can be embarrassing.
2. Questions can make people uncomfortable.
3. Questions can be dangerous.
4. People think there are "right and wrong" questions.

This is a character trait that I don't lack. I love to ask questions. I don't really care if the questions make others uncomfortable either. I believe good questions are vital to the spiritual journey.

What happens when people ask questions? Often times they get isolated from others. The four reasons given above causes others to be uncomortable around people who dare to ask questions. I've experienced this many, many times. Just go to a church ministry meeting and start asking question. . . Mike says, "Our questions may chase everyone else away, but they attract Jesus. We may be stuck with our questions, but we are also stuck with Jesus. If our questions leave us alone with Jesus, then lonely isn't a bad place to be."

Here are some of the questions I'm asking, and will continue to ask. Feel free to add to the list....

• What does it mean to love, and be loved by Jesus?
• What does it mean to be the Church, the Bride of Christ?
• What helps me recognize the presence of Jesus in my life?
• What does it mean to have relationships? With others? With Jesus?
  
• Where is Jesus leading me? The others that I'm journeying with?
• How is Jesus expressing himself through me? The others I'm journeying with?

On a personal note, there are some other questions:

• Jesus, when will I find a job!
• Jesus, could you give me some more direct direction.

Kinda, kidding.....

We went to Columbia, Mo. yesterday to hang out with some brothers and sisters of the same Father. Matt, Amy, Matt and Cindy are some great folks on a similar journey. It was great being able to hear their stories about how they have come to believe in a "simple" faith. Though our stories differ, we have a definate connection...JESUS! It was so refreshing hanging out with some folks that take the journey to love, and be loved, seriously.

We ate (and drank) at the Flat Branch Pub and Brewery where we tried a sampler of the various brews they offered. The green chile beer pretty good! We learned about each other's journey, ate some food and drank some beer together. Sounds like "church" to me....

Then Matt took us to Rock Bridge Memorial State Park which was very cool. Some great paths to hike complete with caves for the kids to "explore." We talked about everything under the sun...movies, parenting, church.... We had a great time and hope to do it again sometime....

We are so grateful that God is continuing to put people into our lives to journey with. Geographical distance doesn't seem like such an issue. God continues to use the internet to make connections and make the world a lot smaller...

Maybe next time we can get George, Bruce, Eddie, Tom, Deb. . .to join us! I get the feeling someday we all may get to hang out together....

I'll try to post some pictures if I can figure it out.

Predicatability and faith cannot coexist. What characterized Jesus and his disciples was unpredictability. Jesus was always surprising the disciples by eating at the wrong houses (those of sinners), hanging around the wrong people (tax collectors, adulterers, prostitutes, lepers), and healing people on the wrong day (the Sabbath). There was no Day Timer, no strategic plan, no mission statement; there was only the eager anticipation of the present moment. The Pharisees wanted Jesus to the same as they were. his truth should be the same truth that they had spent centuries taming. But truth is unpredictable. When Jesus is present, everyone is uncomfortable yet mysteriously glad at the same time. People do not like surprises - even church people - and they don't want to be uncomfortable. They want a nice tame Jesus.

You know what? Tameness is not an option.

Take surprise out of faith and all that is left is dry and dead religion. Take away the mystery from the gospel and all that is left is frozen petrified dogma. Lose your awe of God and you are left with an impotenet deity. Abandon astonishment and you are left with meaningless piety. When religion is characterized by sameness, when faith is franchised, when the genuiness of our experience with God is evaluated by its similarities to others' faith, then the uniqueness of God's people is dead and the church is lost.

Mike Yaconelli (Dangerous Wonder)

Preach it brother!

God is Not a Republican. Or a Democrat.

This is getting close to how I feel about politics.

God is so faithful....no, no job yet. It'll come. But, God keeps putting people in our lives to journey with after a long time of loneliness. For instance, I'm giving guitar lessons to help make ends meet and a lady from church came over with her son. She talked to Trish while I gave the lesson. By the time I came upstairs they were chatting about our little group of misfits and how she would love to hang out with us.

We are going to Columbia, Mo. to hang out with some friends we haven't met yet. Matt and Matt are on a similar spiritual journey and we are really looking forward to spending some time with them. It is awesome how God is using the internet to bring people together as an expression of His body.

A few months ago I decided I wanted to learn how to play Texas Holdem. The recent WSOP and WPT shows have inspired me to give it a shot. I've always liked playing poker, but it's been years since I've indulged. I've been playing on the internet and have actually graduated from being a "fish" to being a decent player.

Here are a few lessons I've learned that may, or may not apply to the rest of life:

1. You can play your hand right and still lose.

2. Consistent good-decisions pay off in the long run even if you take a couple of bad beats now and then.

3. Good things can happen to bad players, but players who depend on luck eventually lose their shirt.

4. Intimidation can be worth more than good cards in your hand.

5. If you don't know who the "fish" at the table is, YOU ARE IT!

I've been doing some job hunting on the internet and I came across this job title:

Erection Foreman

Hmmm....maybe its working for Pfizer, the company that makes Viagra?

I'm getting tired of my own whining lately! But, things have been a little strange around the Hiduk home the past few weeks..... Trish has her gallbladder removed, she tears some tendons stepping off of curb, and now a truck runs her off the road in the rain. We have no medical insurance, and the kicker is, the insurance of the truck driver doesnt want to pay because there was no "point of contact", although it was clearly the truck drivers fault.

If life gets any better I don't know if I can stand it! Maybe the Cardinals will win tonight.....

Greg and Rebecca Sparks came to our church today. What great musicians and all around great folks! Hey, they're from Pittsburgh, they can't be all bad. Right, George? I highly recommend their music!

We went out to lunch with them and had a great talk about ministry, music, leadership etc. They have a different point of view about the institutional church than we do, but they have great hearts. It was funny, because when we got home we were made aware of another "controversy" we are in the middle of....of course, we are the last to know....

One of my criticisms of the institutional church has been that it sets up leaders to be criticized by people who have no relationship with them. Motives are assumed, assumptions are made, and gossip is started with incomplete information, from a distance, usually behind the leader's back. It would be great if church attenders could just be adult about such things, lets not even talk about being Biblical or Christian! It's like you get up on stage and paint a target on your back. I'm really saddened by this kind of immaturity, but I guess I shouldn't expect anything more....

So, to the folks who are reading through my blog hunting for information to use....Good hunting and God bless you....and here are few things to think about:

1Tim 1:5-8
The whole point of what we're urging is simply love--love uncontaminated by self-interest and counterfeit faith, a life open to God. Those who fail to keep to this point soon wander off into cul-de-sacs of gossip. They set themselves up as experts on religious issues, but haven't the remotest idea of what they're holding forth with such imposing eloquence. It's true that moral guidance and counsel need to be given, but the way you say it and to whom you say it are as important as what you say. (The Message)

Pro 11:12
Mean-spirited slander is heartless; quiet discretion accompanies good sense. (The Message)

I hope Andy doesnt mind me posting the lyrics to this song. Thanks for turning us on to the tunes Eddie!

White Flag
by Andy Squyres

Make way bow down
Give up surrender everything you’ve known
You’re about to lose everything you have
Here comes the devastation we were warned about

It’s a mystery it’s a bloody mess
It only requires everything and nothing less
But if we die we will surely live
If we just give up the only thing that we can give

Oh I am waving I am waving my white flag
In the air and I’m to the point even though I lose
I just don’t care as long as you are there

Can’t run, we can’t hide
From the desperation that we feel inside
But there is hope and there is truth
The love of God will never stop pursuing me and you

©2003 Andy Squyres - All Rights Reserved.

Some days I really enjoy my kids, but lately those days have been few and far between. My oldest is getting old enough to get a major attitude, my youngest is whining like a mama's boy, and my middle daughter is the instigator of a lot of the trouble. There is way to much yelling around our house, me included. Add to that the pressure I am feeling regarding getting a job and feeling generally worthless in the job-market. We sacrificed a lot for me to finish college and, unless God directly intervenes, I'm going to wind up in a corporate job I don't particularly like anyway. Right back where I started from...Add to that Trish wanting to be at home, and you've got relative chaos in the Hiduk home.

I'll admit it. My attitude sucks right now. I'm looking around and not particularly liking my life....and I'm not sure what to do about it right now. I'm not sure there is much to do but remain faithful and ask God to help me with my attitude.....and ask y'all for prayer....

More Reasons...

Found this on Kevin's blog, who got it from Laura's blog.... What a great summation of what we are doing, and where we are going!

"In conversion you are not attached primarily to an order, nor to an institution, nor a movement, nor a set of beliefs, nor a code of action--you are attached primarily to a Person, and secondarily to these other things...You are not called to get to heaven, to do good, or to be good--you are called to belong to Jesus Christ. The doing good, the being good, and the getting to heaven, are the by-products of that belonging. The center of conversion is the belonging of a person to a Person."
--E. Stanley Jones

For those who may not understand our decision, I came across a few quotes while surfing the blogworld that may help explain. See if these statements hold true in your exerience of organized religion:

One more thing. I spoke with a friend recently with whom I’d shared home group life until I moved away some years ago. They used to have lots of friends and how they’ve lost touch with everyone. We talked about how much work time he’d invested in friendships in the last few years and he admitted it was little. Work, commuting and home responsibilities crowded out the time they used to devote to building friendships. Having Jesus-centered friendship is an investment. If we don’t take time to build relationships we’ll find ourselves alone. That’s no way to live. We serve a relational God and I am convinced that almost everything Jesus does he does through relationships, not programs, models or works. Who is God putting on your heart today? Whether they be believer or unbeliever, invest some time cultivating a relationship with them and see where it goes. You’ll be amazed at what God will do. I find for every 20 or 30 relationships I give myself to, maybe 2 or 3 of those become great friends over time. If you’re not casting the net out there, the fish aren’t going to jump in it by themselves.
Wayne Jacobsen

"In my experience "mini projects" defines really well the way people in the church often interact and understand friendships. Too many people want to take a quick 5/10 minutes to "catch up" with what's going on, rather than investing something of themselves into your life. Being there when things aren't going so well. Living in the dark parts of your life. Does the church see friendship as something that needs to be strategic and pre-meditated instead of spontaneous and natural?"

"Some things I have noticed or felt are:
People make a lot less effort with you; after all they need to invest their time and energy into spending time with people already in their church community. If you're not in, you'll be left out."
Paul Fromont

So it begins....

We met with the pastor of the church we attend last night and resigned from being paid staff. This has been a long time coming for us. Much prayer and thought has gone into our decision. God is leading us in a different direction. An almost opposite direction if the truth be known. We won't be leaving the church totally right now though (For those of you that are worried about that). There are to many people we love and are journeying with to quit gathering with them. But, I believe we will be more authentic and effective under the radar, and without the obligations and expectations that weighs on paid staff.

So, the dream officially dies. We moved to Highland for me to finish my music degree and become a paid worship leader. My, how a couple of years can change your life. God has been rewiring our thought processes about church, discipleship, spirituality etc. for awhile, and to be honest, its been painful.

To be honest, there is some uncertainty involved in our decision. People wonder what we are going to do when we leave the IC. We really can't give them a satisfactory answer....follow God? Meet with other people that love God too? They answer, "Oh..." with a look in their face that portrays they think we are crazy. And to those who have no clue what we are talking about, we are...

Super Size Me

I've been on a few health food kicks in my life. I've read books, and we've tried to eat healthy, usually lasts a couple of months. Last night we watched "Super Size Me." If you haven't seen it, you need to. It's about a guy who decides to eat nothing but McDonald's for a whole month to see what it does to his body. He has to eat everything on the menu at least once, and every time he is asked if he wants to Supersize, he does. (Especially check out the bonus french fry test. 5 weeks in a jar and the fries don't even grow mold! What the hell are they made of!)

Prior to the experiment all the tests show that he is extremely healthy. Needless to say the diet has some seriously adverse effects.... But there is a good message contained in this movie about the power of advertising, corporate and individual responsibility, and greed.

One of the scariest scenes is when the guy is showing school children pictures of people to see if they recognize them. All of the them know who Ronald McDonald is, and get excited seeing him. He then starts showing them a picture hidden from us and none of the kids know who this guy is....he turns the picture around to reveal a picture of Jesus. Yea, yea, I know what you are going to say, but the branding of our kids is happening...

• The average child sees 10,000 TV advertisements per year
• McDonald's distributes more toys per year than Toys-R-Us
• Before most children can speak they can recognize McDonald's
• McDonald's represents 43% of total U.S. fast food market
  

I believe in holistic Christianity. Every part of my life matters. So, where does what we eat fit in to our theology? Should it? Does my diet effect my relationship with God and others?

The movie makes a good point that it is socially acceptable to berate people about smoking. It's unhealthy, it effects others.... But, isn't that true for most of our diets too? Especially, when in the coming few years obesity will be the number one fatal disease that is preventable...

What if part of our alternative Christian lifestyle had to do with treating our bodies well in this fast food culture?

1Co 6:12 Just because something is technically legal doesn't mean that it's spiritually appropriate. If I went around doing whatever I thought I could get by with, I'd be a slave to my whims.
1Co 6:13 You know the old saying, "First you eat to live, and then you live to eat"? Well, it may be true that the body is only a temporary thing, but that's no excuse for stuffing your body with food, or indulging it with sex. Since the Master honors you with a body, honor him with your body!
1Co 6:14 God honored the Master's body by raising it from the grave. He'll treat yours with the same resurrection power.
1Co 6:19 Or didn't you realize that your body is a sacred place, the place of the Holy Spirit? Don't you see that you can't live however you please, squandering what God paid such a high price for? The physical part of you is not some piece of property belonging to the spiritual part of you.
1Co 6:20 God owns the whole works. So let people see God in and through your body.
(The Message)

School's out for summer! In the immortal words of Alice Cooper. I have one first aid class to take to earn a bogus credit, then I am an official graduate of Greenville College. Now I have to look for a job and/or figure out if I am going for some more school....decisions, decisions.....

We had a bonfire out at a friends house last night, and we're goint to the HS football game with them tonight. Will be starting a poker night soon....

Trish is on a roll. Read her stuff for the past few days and be blessed... As for me, I am doing life and school right now....

Our little gathering had a barbecue last night. Good times! A little beer, a lot of laughs, and friendships growing.... plus, our kids had a great time together.

+Thank you Lord for being faithful and trustworthy!+

I haven't blogged about this, but I took a job with our "latchkey" program at the church. We have about 90 kids that we take care of after school until their parents can get them. I'm the only guy working with 5 other women. See what a college education can get you! :-)

I see so many things that break my heart. The other day a little girl in my class was crying and I asked her what was wrong. Her mom never gives her money for soda, and the little girl had finally talked her into it. She was waiting all day to buy the soda. The bell rings and she runs to the soda machine, inserts her money.....and an older boy steals her soda, runs off, throws it on the ground, breaks it and runs off laughing (Good thing I didn't see him do it!). So, after the class had snack I snuck off and spent 50 cents to buy her another one. When I came walking onto the playground with that Mountain Dew you would have thought her whole world had changed. 50 stinking cents. Sometimes that's all it costs to change someone's day.

I've got a lot of stuff running through my head regarding leadership etc....but no time to write. School is almost complete! Three more weeks and I'll have Bachelor's Degree at 36 years old! Better late than never....

My sweet daughter Abbie turned 9 years-old yesterday! My, how 9-years flies! The most beautiful days of my life were being able to participate in the birth of my kids! I got to catch Abbie and Hannah coming out of Trish because we had them at a birth center. What priviledge! It seems just like yesterday!

We had a party for her Saturday. A small party with our family and three of her friends. I am so grateful for the friends she has this year. Everyone of them is sweeter than the next. It was so fun to watch them play "freeze dance" and pop balloons by sitting on them, to hear their giggles... It was so great to get her a guitar this year! She has been wanting to play for sometime now....

I love Abbie! She is growing up to be such an awesome kid! Sweet, sensitive, creative, loving... I am reminded to take advantage of the time we have to build relationships, both with our children and each other. Time is a commodity that is so precious! Once it is gone you can't get it back...

Thanks for the comments! Your thoughts help me clarify and put into words what I'm trying to say. In keeping with the discussion going on VC, I'll post some more of my thoughts. These are new, to me, and still forming. Feel free to challenge them. I think discussion about these issues are healthy and needed in the Body...

Regarding individuals and community. Jesus created the church made up of individuals who relate to Him. When those individuals gather, a local expression of church happens. The local expression of the Church will only be as healthy as the individuals in it. She will only be able to carry out God’s mission as individuals learn to know, hear, and follow Him. God works through individuals to form communities, AND God works through communities to form individuals. The church cannot do one without the other. You can’t have a forest without trees, and you can’t have a local expression of church without having individuals.

So, I hope that we agree that the individual and the community need each other to exist. So, the question is, Where do we put our emphasis? You have said that you put it on the community.
I see it like a balanced see-saw. Tipped toward the individual you get individualism, relativism, strange interpretations of Scripture....Tipped toward the community you get conformity, commitment, accountability, and trust becoming the major issues, and you get self-appointed leaders “caring” for the community at the expense of the individual. The problem is that when the scale is tipped neither side is ends up loving God and each other. I think that a delicate balance must be maintained between the individual and the community.

When community is the main focus, the organization will become more important than the individual. Good intentioned leaders will make decisions that benefit the organization, at the expense of the individual. Often the leaders believe that God’s will and their will are the same and wind up destroying individual Christians. I’ve seen and experienced this, as many people have in the various new expressions of the Church. That is why many of us sought new expressions of church in the first place. The problem is that an emphasis on community demands that self-appointed, or elected leaders act on behalf of the community to manage, create, act as gatekeepers etc. to perpetuate the organization/community. 2000 years of Christianity has produced thousands of denominations, institutions and models doing just that.

In this delicate balance trust becomes the major issue. In your model you are asking people to trust you because you view yourself as a leader. Yet, Jesus did not trust men because He knew what was in them (John 2:24-25). Why would he ask us to trust each other? The language of institutions is “committment, accountability, and trust”, yet Biblically, those words are never directed toward other believers, only God. I find that interesting.... Accountability, and trust are reserved for the Father alone. I know it sounds crazy. It did when I first heard it too. Check it out for yourself.

To put it another way: If I look to you (a leader) to fulfill my needs will I wind up disappointed, hurt and frustrated? If I look to the community to fulfill my needs will I wind up disappointed, hurt and frustrated? In the end, we will fail each other because of our own flesh, and the leaders will become disappointed, hurt and frustrated when the individuals do not live up to their expectations, and fulfill their obligations. All I’m suggesting is that we were never meant to look to people and/or community for what God, and God alone, can deliver.

I believe that I can trust God to correct fellow believers in their journey. When we devise systems to “correct” other believers, we are really saying that we don’t trust God to do His job. It is when we don't really trust Jesus to be the head of his church, that we devise systems to keep it under man's control on his behalf. Which means much of our structures for body life today are actually built on unbelief. As you know, organizations take a lot longer to accept corrections, and can do tremendous damage to individuals in the meantime.

We could go even further and ask if it is “loving each other” to put expectations and obligations on each other at all. What happens when I don’t meet your expectations? Because you know that eventually I won’t. What happens when I fail to fulfill my obligations? You know, at some time I will fail. And, where does God tell us to put expectations and obligations on each other? When you ask me to meet the expectations and obligations of your idea of spirituality/leadership how is that not a form of bondage? I can’t help but think of the book of Galatians in this discussion, but I won’t waste the space here.

I will agree with Wayne Jacobsen when he says, “Life in God is a dynamic relationship. You can't mass produce it by behavioral objectives. You can't find it in religious tradition or embrace it vicariously through a charismatic leader. Life in God has to be lived in our own hearts.” To that point, the Christian life is individualistic. It is when we share the life in God together that community exists.

I simply think that we are headed in the wrong direction if we think that we can contain or sustain God’s movement by relying on people, no matter how wise or gifted. There is a myriad of ways to live together in community. God is a community, and wherever His presence is manifested community is built. The church is simply God expressing Himself through individuals that freely (yes, I believe freedom is good) choose to meet together. As God expresses Himself through us, a local expression of the church is created as we gather together.

The only two real directives that Jesus gave the Church is: Love Me and love each other. Could it really be that simple?

My friends at Vineyard Central are discussing some changes that have really caused me to think through some issues about leadership, form, and structure in the local church. I wanted to post some excerpts of what I wrote as a response to those changes. I have great respect for them, and I think God is doing some awesome things through them. I am certainly still a work-in-progress, and I don't claim to know everything, but these are some of the fundamental things God has been showing me in the past few months. As always, let me know what you think....

Regardless of the good intentions of “leaders”, the nature of religious institutions and organizations (networks included), tends toward a subtle shift from listening and responding to God, to attempting to manage what God is doing. It is the nature of an organizational system to produce this shift. History is rife with such examples. The institution then requires some form of hierarchy to create boundaries and act as the gatekeepers of the institution. At best, a “pecking order” will arise that gives preference to the input of some at the expense of others. The questions change from “How can we listen to and follow God together?” to questions like “Who is more spiritual? Who is most gifted? Who can contribute? Who is allowed to participate as a leader?” Ultimately, there is an exchange of spiritual authority for institutional power.

I believe, in spiritual terms, there is a cost to trying to be effective. It is the cost of freedom in exchange for conformity to standards, rules and obligations (the language of institutions).

Basing our identity on a network, institution, or movement gives us a vested interest in such to succeed, and causes us to sacrifice simple relational connectedness for management, boundaries and hierarchy. It becomes increasingly easy for leaders to confuse serving and managing. Putting restrictions on what is simply “sharing Christ’s life” takes the focus off of Christ and puts it on the uniqueness of our methods, or the voices of self-appointed experts. I know that you want to see people partake in wholeness, freedom, and life. But, I don’t think that rules, regulations, methods etc. mean that people will experience that. It does not follow that if we “do Church right” that people will “act right.” We don’t need influence, money, or programs that can be managed or exploited to release the Body to do as God leads them.

Perhaps what God started, God will make effective. What God birthed, God will grow. When it is time, God will let it die, and something else will take its place.

Later I wrote:

I guess my point is that the "rules" become increasingly important when the organization/network/institution is the focus, as opposed to being focused on helping individuals know, hear, and follow Jesus, and letting the networking happen as a natural result. When the network is the focus I am not sure there can be true "equality and consensus." It is not the nature of organizations to allow that to take place. So, maybe the question is, do you really want to become a formal organization/network? I think there are other options...

Trish is asking some good questions about form too....check it out!

I intend to do some more writing about this stuff....gotta finish my final project for school though....almost college edumucated!!!

Our Preoccupation With Form

I’ve been thinking about church for the past few days. Like, what else is new? Ever since Alan’s and Aaron’s posts about the importance of form for the local church, I’ve been trying to clarify why I bristle at the preoccupation we have with form. I was focusing on form a lot in the past few years, but my thoughts are beginning to change. So, I’m not trying to slam anyone, just trying to clarify my own thoughts about the matter....Please hang-in-there with me this is stream of conciousness stuff....

I see at least four questionable beliefs of a preoccupation with the form of our gatherings: 1) We believe that if we “get church right” that individuals will “get right.” In other words, we believe that the form needs to be relevant, exciting, transformative, etc. for individuals to be saved, transformed, relational etc. 2) We need to “come to church”/gather to be transformed, or to experience the context for transformation. 3) We believe that it is our job to see that people get transformed into Christ-likeness. 4) Form winds up being used as an excuse to separate ourselves from each other in the family of God.

In my few years of following Jesus I’ve seen traditional, contemporary, Willow Creek, Purpose Driven, pragmatic church, cell church, house church and emerging church. Each one has been touted as the latest and greatest, but in the end has failed to fulfill “high calling.” For example, those of us who remember when Willow Creek was all the rage can look back and see just how far off the mark we were in thinking that church needed to be entertaining. In the end we merely produced consumers of religious goods and services. We thought we had the form right, but in the end the individuals didn’t “get it right.” It doesn't follow, nor has it ever, that if we do the right things at "church" that individuals will do the right things in their daily lives. Getting the mechanics right, or leading in the proper manner, does not necessarily mean we are sharing the life of Jesus together.

“We've taught for years the mistaken notion that we need to go to church to fill up on the life of God. Not true! We can only fill up on God's life through a transforming relationship with the Father through his Son. We were never meant to come to fill ourselves with church, but to live full of him and then share his life together with God's people. Here is the problem with most of what passes for church life today, including many house churches: Rather than teaching people how to live dependent on Jesus Christ, it supplants that dependency by its misguided attempt to take the place of Jesus in people's lives. Instead of teaching them how to live in him, they make them dependent on the structures and gatherings of what we call church. Our expressions of church life just become another thing to stand in the way of people living deeply and fully in him.” (Jacobsen)

There is a big difference between gathering together to share our common life in Jesus, and coming to church to be transformed. When we share our common life, we bring what Jesus has already given us to share with others. When we go to church looking for transformation we are not relying on God, we are relying on the form of church, the personalities of the leaders, the way the music makes us feel, the relationships we have to transform us. God may choose to use those in our transformation, but he may also use countless other ways too. I see no reason to focus on tools of the Christian subculture over and above those of the everyday life.

I submit that it is possible that the forms of our Christian activities may even hinder us from having a dynamic relationship with our living God. By nature, a relationship with any living thing is dynamic and unpredictable. Yet, we desire to reduce our relationship to fixed forms. I believe our goal is to live in the life of the Father everyday, allowing Him to transform us through/in our everyday activities, relating to Him in more intimate ways that lead to authentic trust, and sharing that life with others. If our gatherings are causing people, in anyway, to rely on our forms/structures in the place of God we need to seriously step back and question why we are preoccupied with those forms and structures.

We have sought new expressions of the Church for many different reasons. Many of us have left the IC becuase we didn't believe the form was appropriate, biblical, or helpful in our relationship with God, or each other. Maybe the problem wasn't with the particular form, maybe the problem is the preoccupation with any form. Perhaps what we are tryin to re-"form" is the problem. Maybe we should look at our gatherings as individuals sharing the life of Jesus in them, rather than a place for people to come to be transformed....?

So, if the forms of our gatherings are not of primary importance, how does transformation take place? Please don’t misunderstand me here. Gatherings are important, but I do not believe that the gathering is the impetus for transformation. If, as Wayne Jacobsen says, “Jesus’ life in people doesn’t flow out of church life, Jesus’ life in His people flows into church life,” then transformation begins with the individual and flows into the community. I see transformation happening not as I respond to well done music, participate in liturgy, participate in corporate disciplines, or listen to a sermon, but when I trust in Jesus in the everyday occurences of my life...when I learn to let Him love me, and am filled with His love, then I have something to share with the community.

I'll try to address the other issues I mentioned at a later date...I'm all typed out...
Feel free to challenge my conclusions. I' m still trying to flesh it all out...

Ethel's
(Warning: If you are legalistic about drinking alcohol, please don't read this. If you are a teenager, it is illegal to drink alcohol before you are 21. SO WAIT!)

We have been hanging out with some friends and growing relationally for awhile now. When I went to Ozzfest the other week Trish and some of the girls went to Ethel's for a "bucket."

Ethel's is a little bar down the street, that quite honestly, I didn't even know existed until Trish told me about it. They have a special concoction that they put in a bucket with a bunch of straws and everybody sips off of it. (Hopefully the alcohol kills the germs...) It's a little dive that holds about 20 people in our small town.

Anyway, we started meeting some folks there just to hang out together. We were kidding around in our gathering that we're going to tell the pastor that we have a small group at Ethel's. It seems like everyone that hears we are doing this wants to join us! Sunday, another lady from church wanted to know why "she wasn't invited." It's funny how God works. When you quit trying to have fellowship, and allow yourself the freedom to be who you are, fellowship happens naturally, and in the most interesting places....

Bill posted the link to this excerpt form Eugene Peterson's "Subversive Spirituality". I think Peterson has a great handle on the problem:

We go to our leaders for help, and they don't seem to know what we are talking about. They sign us up for a program in stress management. They recruit us for a tour of the Holy Land. They enroll us in a course in family dynamics. They give us a Myers-Briggs personality-type indicator so they can fit us into the slot where we can function efficiently. When we don't seem interested, they talk faster and louder. When we drift somewhere else, they hire a public-relations consultant to devise a campaign designed to attract us and our friends. Sometimes the advertising campaign is successful in enlisting people who want something to do without the inconvenience of community and want to know how to be on good terms with God without having to give up the final say-so on their own lives. But they don't attract us. We are after what we came for in the first place: intimacy and transcendence, personal friends and a personal God, love and worship.

I agree that some of the solutions offered are heading down the right path. I really liked "Shun spirituality that does not require commitment." Not sure I agree with everything....judge for yourself....

Trish is having her gallbladder taken out today. She doesn't particularly like going to the Dr. in the first place, so this is hard for her. Please keep her in your prayers today!

**UPDATE**
Trish is doing fine. She is recovering and they will keep her overnight. Three kids keep me busy though....

Laugh or Cry?

We had our gathering last night and had someone from church join us. She is such a sweet lady and God is definately calling her to Himself. I wanted to share this story illustrate the guilt that religion uses to motivate people.

Our friend was confirmed in the Catholic church as an adult, but never attended after that. She feels like God is calling her to something and is trying to sort it out. When she heard we had a gathering in our house she wanted to come and check it out. I told her just bring her Bible and we would hang out together....

So, we shared our stories of how Jesus found us and how we came to be at the church we attend. We talked about the struggles of life and trusting in God through them. So I got out my Bible and turned to Matthew 6 to read about seeking the Kingdom of God instead of being anxious... I asked our friend how comfortable she was with the Bible, knowing that most of the Catholics in our area know very little about the Bible....

She said she didn't know much then she proceeded to get honest....She said, "Actually, I went out and bought this Bible today so I would have one. I took it home and ruffled the pages so you guys would think I had read it before..." I just smiled and was glad she felt comfortable enough with us to honest. To me that was the good stuff!

After thinking about it though I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I'm not putting our friend down at all. I had a starting place in my journey too. I know where she is at. Been there. Wanting to fit in and thinking there are expectations of what it means to be "Christian." Knowing that God is calling you, but afraid to let be yourself becuase you were afraid of what people would think.... There was a time I would have done the same thing....that made me smile.

The tragedy is that had she not come to our house last night, she might have attended the IC for years and never even cracked a Bible. Not only that, but the guilt that motivated her to do that makes my heart break. The good news is that she was glad to know that we were "real people" who struggled, had holes in their couch becuase we can't afford a new one, have kids who aren't perfectly obedient etc.

It was so nice to put her at ease just by being me. Not hiding our faults and shortcomings, while at the same time making it known that we are trying to love God, each other and our neighbor. That is my goal. I feel like I am on the right track: Being myself, loving God, letting Him love me, learning to trust Him, and sharing that love with friends and neighbors. It seems so simple. It is. It is also extremely satisfying.

My dad is in the hospital with chest pains as of last evening. They are going in with a camera to take a look and possibly put in a stint. He has already had a couple of angioplasties, so there is always a risk involoved. If you could lift him up in prayer that would be awesome!

**UPDATE**
My dad had a 90% blockage in a the right coronary artery of his heart. They "ballooned" him and put a stint in and he is doing much better. This his third angioplasty! God must not be done with him yet....!


IC quote of the week (In the context of a "capital campaign"):
"It takes money to win the lost."

Trish and I had such a great time this weekend! My mom and dad kept the kids from Thursday to Sunday!!! Man, I almost forgot what it was to be just a couple in love with each other! We went out to eat, snuggled, talked.... This was a much needed break! If you get the chance to give a break to some parents by taking their kids for awhile, realize IT IS MINISTRY!

Have you ever felt that change is coming, you're not sure you know what's going to happen, but you now something is going to happen? That's how I feel right now. Not exactly comfortable...a little anxious...but I know that good things will come of it.

The downside of the weekend was church related....sigh... I've tried to distance myself as much as possible from the inner workings of the IC we are serving at, but the system keeps sucking (in more ways than one) me back in. There was some weirdness taking place with an individual, as well as some statements and teaching that I just can't buy into. The mission and vision that I was helping with took a turn for the ordinary (I had a feeling it would.). In other words: SNAFU.

You know, we have finally started to have some good relationships with people and NOW the time is coming to move on. God has an interesting sense of timing. It seems like all we have wanted are some people to journey with...I'm still trusting.... I told Trish that those who quit being our friends because God is calling us to something else, were never our friends in the first place. Friendships and relationships built on a Sunday morning address have a flimsy foundation at best.

Ranting Completed.

+God forgive me...I saw Black Sabbath and Judas Priest and I liked it...+

Just for the record, Ozzy was on his game. Now that he is off the pills you could understand everything he said and he put on a really good show. I never thought I would see Sabbath together onstage do the songs I learned the guitar to. Judas hasn't missed a beat, they were a hard act to follow...The rest of the bands all sounded the same to an ear that his been out of the Metal scene for awhile. Although MAGNA-FI gets notable mention as a band singing about stuff that matters ( I wonder if they are Christian?). But, the really great time was getting to hang all day, building a relationship with friend...

By the way, has the Catholic church lost their minds?! Check this....Was man made for Communion, or was Communion made for man?

A friend is taking me to Ozzfest today! I haven't listened to this kind of music for sometime now, but for the sake of a growing friendship, I'm going....I grew up on Black Sabbath and Judas Priest...should be interesting...

Saturday night my mom and dad are keeping the kids and Trish and I are going to see Lyle Lovett! Yeah, I'm eclectic....

We had our gathering last night, not everyone was able to show up, but we had some good conversation regarding John Chapter 2.

The most lively conversation regarded what it means to trust, and whether we should trust other people at all...

Joh 2:23 During the time he was in Jerusalem, those days of the Passover Feast, many people noticed the signs he was displaying and, seeing they pointed straight to God, entrusted their lives to him.
Joh 2:24 But Jesus didn't entrust his life to them. He knew them inside and out, knew how untrustworthy they were.
Joh 2:25 He didn't need any help in seeing right through them. (The Message)

Here are some of the questions that came out of our discussion:

• If we are following Jesus and he didn't trust people, should we do the same?
• What is trust? Does trust imply obligations and expectations of others?
• Is trust different from acceptance?
  
• If trust does imply obligations and expectations of others, does that lead us to keep a "check list" in our minds regarding whether people are meeting our expectations? Is that fair? Is that freedom?
  
• How does it make us feel when others in the Body have expectations of us that we fail to meet?
• Are expectations a form of control? If we have expectations of others, what role does the Spirit play? In other words, what if the Spirit calls people to do things outside of our expectations? How do we handle that?
• What might happen, "where the rubber meets the road," if we didn't have expectations of others? Would it be freeing? Would it be chaos?

Obviously, we had a great chat about these issues and we all have some food for thought during this week....

Now, back to writing my paper on Diversity in the Workplace....oh joy (insert sarcasm)...

I have lots to say, but no time to do it....I am in crunch time regarding my final project at school. Of course, I have procastinated to such an extent that crunch time seems...oh, crunchier...

To add to the discussion going on at Alan's blog, I'm reposting a summary of Fowler's Theory regarding the Stages of Faith. Fowler discovered these stages as he surveyed thousands of people from different religions. If I remember correctly, Fowler believes that once we are "saved" we enter a progressive and predictable journey toward Christ-likeness. You may not agree with that, but in looking at my own journey and the journey of others that I know, these stages seem accurate. I tried to summarize each stage with an example from the OT and the life of Jesus.

Primal Stage – Genesis – Birth Stories of Jesus – Decision to be a Christ-follower

• Represents maximum human dependency; maximum care by others, including God.

• Genesis - The beginning of Salvation History for the Hebrew/Israelite/Jew.

• Jesus' birth.

• Decision is made to follow Christ.

Intuitive-Projective – Call of Fathers(Creeds) – Journey to/from Egypt – Romance/Setting Apart

• Babies learn that “others” are out there, with whom to interact.

• Call of Abraham and the verbally repeated in Israel’s creeds of Duet. 6:20-25 and Duet. 26::5-10. Call of Abraham and Egyptian slavery.

• Jesus journeys to and from Egypt. (Math. 2:14-15)

• The follower learns that he is “called” and “set apart,” but is still largely dependent on “other people like him.” This is often a time of joy and bliss.

Mythic-Literal – Exodus, Sinai Stories – Jesus Returns to Nazareth - Non-negotiable Faith

• One learns stories and ways of acting which define one’s family and group identity.

• Stories of the Exodus and Sinai celebrated in Passover and the Feast of Weeks form Israel’s identity as a nation/people and develop a national consciousness.

• Jesus returns to Nazareth. (Math. 2:19-23)

• The follower begins to take on the stories, beliefs and observances that symbolize belonging to the community. Beliefs and morality are appropriated with literal interpretations.

Synthetic-Conventional – Wandering and Conquest – Jesus Grows and is Baptized – Loyalty to Group

• Loyalties to persons or groups from the core of one’s identity. Strong attachment to ideals and rules.

• Israel begins to establish the parameters of what it means to be God’s people in the 40 years of wandering and the conquest of Israel. This is reinforced in Sukkoth (Feast of Booths) and Bar Mitzpha.

• Jesus “grew and became strong in spirit, filled with wisdom.” (Lk. 2:40) Jesus is Bar Mitzphad (Lk. 2:42ff.)

• The follower experiences a synthesis of Church, Bible, stories, and experience to form faith. Faith is likely to be “rule based” with strong identification with a particular group/church.

Individuative-Reflective – Davidic Covenant and Prophetic Movement – Jesus’ Ministry and Death – Awareness of Other Faiths

• Persons develop skills for dealing with theirs and others faith and ideas.

• King David’s ambassadors bring other cultural ideas to Israel (Solomon’s wives).

• Jesus’ ministry challenges the social, economic and religious practices of contemporary Judaism. (Parable of the Good Samaritan – Be a Jew, but act like a Samaritan.)

• The follower becomes aware of, examines, and deals with the contradictions and ramifications of other faiths and beliefs.

Conjunctive Faith – Sabbath - Messianic Promise – Death, Resurrection, Ascension, and Final Return of Jesus – Reconciliation of Faith

• Emotional, behavioral, societal and religious opposites and contradictions meet and are reconciled.

• Israel’s concept of the Sabbath is the weekly meeting in the presence of God for prayer and thought.

• Jesus’ death, Resurrection, Ascension and Return are the ultimate reconciliation of all Creation.

• The follower’s faith insists on humility, based on the fact that the grasp on ultimate truth that any tradition can offer needs continual correction and challenge. The follower may also acknowledge that paradox and apparent contradictions are intrinsic to that truth. Deep faith to a particular tradition, with openness to the truths of other traditions.

Universalizing Faith – Eschaton - Eternal Kingdom

• Oneness with God. Possible tension with the religious system as consciousness and commitments, love and loyalties conflict.

• Jesus’ exists as the eternal ultimate reality, the Reconciler of all things.

• The follower experiences a “radical decentration of self,” widening inclusiveness of the circle that counts as “neighbors”. The follower experiences a radical shift in values as a detachment from causes, institutions, persons and posessions is replaced with love for the Creator. Manifests the fruits of “kenosis,” the “pouring out” or emptying of self. Total and pervasive response to God’s love.

• Fowler suggest that a very small percentage of people actually attain this level of faith. He suggests Gandhi as an example.

• It is interesting to me that Fowler assumes that people in this stage of faith will remain in the institution and remain conflicted. I don't know if he realizes that there are many people who are choosing to leave the institution so that my may further their trust and faith in God.
  

Okay...I admit it. I'm a fan of the Surreal Life. I missed the first season, so I watched the replay of it on VH1 last night. I was engaged in some of the best television I've seen in a long time....For those of you who haven't seen it: Vince Neil, M.C. Hammer, Emmanuel Lewis(Webster), Jerri Manthey (Survivor), Gabrielle Carteris (90210), Corey Feldman, and Brande Roderick all have to live in a house together and do activities outside of their comfort zones as they get to know each other. Sounds like dumb reality TV, except something really cool happened....

Vince Neil, of Motley Crue fame (they were informative in my rebellious years), has been through everything under the sun. He's had everything this world has to offer and apparently sees life through different eyes than he did when he was a rock star. I didn't know this, but he lost his daughter to cancer at age 4 about 7 years ago. So, after an all-nighter in Vegas they must get ready for church the next morning. On the bus trip back they begin to talk about faith and prayer. Each one shares their faith, or lack of it, and what they pray for. Vince Neil goes last. Matter of factly, he says that he used to pray, but it didn't help when is daughter was dieing of cancer, so he quit. Stunned silence. Then Hammer tells him he doesn't believe that Vince has given up on faith yet....

Turns out they go to an A.M.E. church where M. C. Hammer is preaching. This a rockin' church! It you've ever been to an AME church you know what I'm talking about. During the sermon Hammer said he felt like God spoke to him clearly. He was to pray for Vince to receive peace so that he could continue a journey toward faith. So Hammer proceeds to tell his story to the church. Vince is obviously struck with emotion and the other cast comforts him. They call Vince up to the stage that pastor begins to pray. The cast is all moved to tears as they sense healing taking place....

Now, Vince has probably engaged in every conceivable sin there is to commit! A white guy in an all black church! His Jewish friends in a church lifting their hands to pray with Christians! I thought it was a powerful statement....

Vince is interviewed the next day and says, "You know, I didn't really think about it, but last night before I went to sleep, I prayed for the first time in a long, long time...."

Had it not been for this show Vince would have never darkened a churches doorstep. Yet, when he did, he received healing. The sad thing is that the Church has healing to offer, hope to offer, love to offer, but it is constrained in a building! What would happen if we started taking it to the streets...?

I was flipping through the channels today and came across a show on the Catholic channel about Fr. Solanus Casey. What an interesting guy! Through a series of circumstances trying to find his "calling" he winds up in seminary studying for the priesthood. He flunks out of the first seminary because he can't learn German to study theology. He then hears God call him to Detroit. He simply packs his bags and goes. He enters a monastary and graduates in the lower half of his class. So the powers-that-be relegate him to saying mass and being a doorman. He was not allowed to preach or take confessions. And yet, this guy winds up doing some amazing things for people and has been venerated by the Pope.

"For him, authentic religion rested in our personal relationship with God. He related to God as a Father, to Jesus as his personal Friend and Brother and their Spirit as the guiding principle of his life. His religion went beyond Religion into a personal relationship of intimacy with God and each member of the Trinity. It was this faith that affected so many people..." Sounds like my kind of guy.

I wish I had the quotes that were used, but the bottom line is that Casey trusted God with everything he had. He did not let flunking out of seminary divert him from his call. He did not let being relegated to the status of a doorman make him bitter. He simply served where he was, with what he had to give. He simply trusted God.

Politics: The Best of Both Worlds

I'm already sick of the DNC. I'm already sick of the RNC and it hasn't even started yet. I was struck by a couple of "political" happenings that reminds me that our hope in not in politicians, nor government.

This article gives us the best of both worlds: A protester at the DNC, probably a "God-fearing man," holding a sign with a dead fetus on one side and "Homo sex is sin" on the other. The "tolerant and compassionate" left promptly surrounded him and proceded to beat him up.

This article describes how Kerry's wife tells a newspaper guy to "shove it" after he questions her comments.

Actually, maybe I need to watch more of this stuff....street fights, shouting, violence....it's almost as entertaining as the WWE!

We went camping with five families from my daughter's Brownie troop this weekend. Wasn't sure what to expect, but we had a great time. It was about 73 degrees for the high! Definately not our typical July weather here in the mid-west. Found this a great way to REALLY get to know people who are "unchurched." We are already talking about a rafting trip next year....

On the trusting front....Friday Trish went to the doctor and somehow the topic got on me, and what I was doing for work. Trish told him that I was thinking about a Master's Degree in Counseling and it turns out that one of the Dr's wife is a Counselor in town. She is going to start a practice, build a building etc. Could it be coincidence? Maybe I will call her and setup a lunch...

Regarding my last post...just got a call from a friend who owns a gymnastics place. She wants to trade guitar lessons for her son, for gymnastics for my daughter.....maybe God is working it all out...we'll see what happens on the rest of the issues....

Peace!

Trust: Where the Rubber Meets the Road

We are all in different places on the journey toward trusting Father, and we are all in different places in our lives. Some of us are young adults, some are parents of young children, some are just starting careers, and some are retired. That is what makes the Church so interesting: We bring the differences in our experiences of life, and our common experience of Christ in us, and learn from each other.

My life experience right now is causing me to trust "where the rubber meets the road." I am finishing college, have small children to take care of, an old house to fix up, and very little money to live on. My patient, loving, nurturing wife has been so gracious to go back to work full-time while I finish my degree and work at a church part-time, but she really desires to be at home with the kids. The problem is, that my aspirations have completely changed since I started college. The original plan was to be a full-time worship leader at a church....not gonna happen.... I have been thinking/praying/listening about pursuing a Master's Degree in Professional Counseling...we'll see....

So, as Trish and I have talked/argued/cried about these things the past few weeks I've been asking myself some questions: Does God care what I do for a living? Does he care if I can't afford to take care of my house? Does he care if I can't afford gymnastics for my daughter? Does he care if my wife can't stay home. I don't mean these things in a negative way, and I don't mean to whine. But, these issues are "where the rubber meets the road" with trust in our lives right now.

It is fine to talk about the theory of trusting God, but when the issues of life are in your face it is time to live it out. I think the deeper question is: What does trust look like? Is trust active, or passive? Do I just sit on my couch all day and wait for some divine inspiration/revelation, or do I sign up for the Master's program and see what happens? Is trusting God for my sanctification a different process than trusting him for life decisions?

Fart in the Wind

I find such joy and contentment in hanging out with other people who love God, even though we are not in the same place on our journey. On the other hand, I grow less contented with the goals, structure, and outcomes of organized religion. Trish and I have been doing a lot of talking, listening and seeking lately about the situation we find ourselves in...

I am helping on a committee in the IC that we are serving at to redefine their mission, vision and values. We are reading some books and talking about things that are different from the direction of most institutional churches. But, I wonder if any of it will do any good, because most people will continue to do whatever they see the pastor doing anyway, and he's a "Purposed Driven" kind of guy. This keeps me emotionally detached from what I am doing, because I am not going to invest myself into an institution.

The good thing about doing this is it brings to light how much my views have changed. A couple of years ago I would have been so excited to talk about all of the "cutting edge" ministry structures and programs that are possible, today they seem so empty and lifeless. My litmus test for anything we are doing is: Does this help people know, follow, and trust Jesus? Anything else is a fart in the wind as far as I am concerned.

We did come up with a mission statement for them: To share the love of God and help all people become lifelong, passionate followers of Jesus Christ.

Now to answer the question: What does it look like to be a passionate follower of Jesus Christ....

Wayne Jacobsen posted a few pamphlets by Jack Gray that I was browsing when I read this prayer from the A.W. Tozer book, "I Talk Back To The Devil".

"Now Lord,if I do the things I know I should do,and if I say what I know in my heart I should say, I will be in trouble with people and groups --there is no other way! Not only will I be in trouble for taking my stand in faith and honesty, but I will certainly be in a situation where I will be seriously tempted of the devil.

Almighty Lord,I accept this with my eyes open.I know the facts and I know what may happen,but I accept it. I will not run. I will not hide. I will not crawl under a rug -- and I know that when I am weak, then I am strong. So, I do not let anyone praise me, and I try not to pay attention to those who would blame me. This is how I have learned to stand for Christ and all that He is to His own."

Jack's story is one of a man earnestly seeking God, but not finding Him in organized forms of religion, and dieing to preconceived ideas of structure to allow the Spirit to blow as He may. His story is one that I can relate to, especially right now....

More From Manning

Explaining Dostoevsky's novel, "The Brothers Karamazov," about Jesus returning to earth, Manning says:

After fifteen hundred years the institutional church, instead of proclaiming Jesus, had supplanted him. Ecclesiastical traditions and man-made laws had usurped Jesus, and the Church was living off the success of its ingenuity.

There was too much light and truth in Jesus. His word, "You will know the truth and the truth will make you free" was intolerable. The elders decided that men and women simply were not capable of being free, so the Church ascribed to itself the protections of souls entrusted to it, only to dispense it when absolutely necessary. Ordinary people could not endure the burden of freedom, so the Church took it away from them for their own good. They would only abuse and misuse it anyway. Delivered from the anxiety and torment of personal decision and responsibility, people would feel safe and happy in obedience to authority.

"They will be amazed at us," says the Grand Inquistior to Jesus, "and will think of us as gods, because we, who set ourselves at their head, are ready to endure freedom, this freedom from which they shrink in horror; and because we are ready to rule over them - so terrible will it seem to them, in the end, to be free. But we shall say that we are obeying you and ruling only in your name. Again we shall be betraying them, for we shall not let you have anything to do with us anymore. Indeed, why have you come to disturb us?" The Grand Inquisitor means to take this Jesus, who has come again, bringing freedom once again, and burn him at the stake in the name of the Church.

The question had become not "What does Jesus say?" but "What does the church say?" This question is still being asked today.

Sad but true: some Christians want to be slaves. IT is easier to let others make decisions or to rely upon the letter of the law.

Raised from the dead, Jesus remains present in the community of disciples as the way to freedom. The kingdom of God is a kingdom of freedom. Jesus invites and challenges us to enter this kingdom, to walk the royal road of freedom, to be set free by the Father's love. He calls ragamuffins everywhere to freedom from the fear of death, freedom from the fear of life, and freedom from anxiety over our salvation.

This one goes out to those who are trusting in a nation, a political process, or a politician to bring about the Kingdom....

"The Good Fight"
By Dashboard Confessional

Consider the odds,
Consider the obvious.
The martyr is meaningless,
The campaign has died.
In the planning stages and the fallen faces
Are the singular proof that it was ever alive.

This purchased rebellion has been outbidded,
Denounced and rescinded and left to die championless.
I begged you not to go.
I begged you, I pleaded.
Claimed you as my only hope
And watched the floor as you retreated.

Hope has sprung a perfect dive
A perfect day, a perfect lie.
A slowly crafted monologue conceding your defeat.

Does it comfort you to know you fought the good fight?
Basking in your victory,
Hollow and alone
While you boast your bitter bragging rights to anyone who'll listen.
While you're left with nothing tangible to gain.

Trust

It never fails to amaze me how God works it out so that what I read is exactly what I need to hear. I've been reading Brennan Manning's "The Ragamuffin Gospel" on and off for awhile. It's the kind of book I need to let sink in before I move on to the next chapter. Sometimes even a paragraph causes me to stop and absorb, ponder, worship...

I've been giving some thought lately about what it really means to trust God. Wayne Jacobsen's article and the CD's that George passed on to us have really got us thinking about it. So, the other night I was beating myself up regarding some of my many shortcomings, as well as some decisions about our family's future and I came across this:

"Second, our response to the love of Jesus demands trust. Do we rely on our resume or the gospel of grace? How do we cope with failure? Grace tells us that we are accepted just as we are. We may not be the kind of people we want to be, we may be a long way from our goals, we may have more failures than achievements, we many not be wealthy or powerful or spiritual, we may not even be happy, but we are nonetheless accepted by God, held in his hands. Such is the promise to us in Jesus Christ, a promise we can trust."

For those who feel their lives are a grave disappointment to God, it requires enormous trust and reckless, raging confidence to accept that the love of Christ knows no shadow of alteration or change. When Jesus said, 'Come to me, all you who labor and are heavy burdened,' he assumed we would grow weary, discouraged, and disheartened along the way. These words are a touching testimony to the genuine humanness of Jesus. He had no romantic notion of the cost of discipleship. He knew that following him was as unsentimental as duty, as demanding as love. He knew that physical pain, the loss of loved ones, failure, loneliness, rejection, abandonment, and betrayal would sap our spirits; that the day would come when faith would no longer offer any drive reassurance, or comfort; that we would echo the cry of Teresa of Avila: 'Lord, if this is the way you treat your friends, no wonder you have so few!'

Manning goes on to point out that as long as a disciple is relying on "tangible reassurances" and craving "spiritual consolations" we are trusting in the response of God and not God himself. He points out that "What the disciple has not learned is that tangible reassurances, however valuable they may be, cannot create trust, sustain it, or guarantee any certainty of its presence. Jesus calls us to hand over our autonomous self in unshaken confidence. When the craving for reassurances is stifled, trust happens."

This is why I cannot rely solely on how I feel as a determination of my actions. I don't know about you, but I have been to the place where God is silent; where there is no tangible evidence of his presence. When I can't see, when I can't feel, when I don't experience, when there is no clear path, when there is no right answer, when there is no reassurance...These are the times of authentic trust!

The more I get to know myself, the more I don't desire any leadership position in the church....I'm to much of a fuck-up...God isn't done with me yet, but even when he is I still don't want the position of leader. That job is already taken.

This is a good word from Wayne Jacobsen:

As long as we're trying to manipulate circumstances around us, we'll find our spiritual life shriveling up. That's as true of our job as it is our ministries and our children. That's because we're trying to be free of Father to pursue our own will and desires. That road always looks secure but leads to ruin. I am so thankful that he has provided a better way.

Even out of our own failures, our Father can work his purpose. That's what he did for Adam and Eve. In fact he knew his first invitation to trust would be ignored. He knew it would cost him his Son before we would be able to understand how much we are loved and how safe it is to put all of our trust in him. He also knows how slow we are to learn that, and with great patience continues to invite us past our fears and anxieties, past the need to control every circumstance of our lives, and surrender to his work and purpose.

What are you afraid of today? Where does your life feel out of control? Right there, at the end of your rope, let go and fall into the lap of a loving and powerful Father. "I'm so sorry God for trying to fit everything in my image; so tired of finding my security in the fickleness of circumstance. Show me, Father, how I am manipulating others and teach me how to find all my joy and security in you and you alone."

He knows everything about you. He knows every circumstance that assails you and he will use them all to teach you how to trust him, if you'll let him. He will never take control of your life; that's something you must give up to him every day, circumstance by circumstance. Give up trying to grab what you desire most. Do it and you'll find that real security doesn't come in the money we possess, the church we attend, or the circumstances we manipulate. Security is found in the Father alone.

Then build your life anew not on the fears of unbelief, demanding your expectations be fulfilled, but on the presence of a Father who is more awesome than you ever imagined. There you'll find a peace and rest that no circumstance or person can disturb.

Finally, you'll discover what it is to be free of the need to control your own life. You'll find that Father really does know best and that he can work in you better than you ever asked or imagined.

Then and only then will your deepest desire be to know God more fully.

Spiderman 2

Took the family to see Spiderman 2 today. I haven't analyzed it all, but I found myself connecting on a deep level with Peter Parker. I was almost emotional after the movie was over...weird...

Thinking about the journey that many of us or on: having a daily, intimate, joyful relationship with the Father. I've given some thought about how I, and others, have arrived here.

One of the common threads, strangely enough, is that our participation in the institutional church has brought us to this point. I haven't read one person's story that said they were born with this innate love for Jesus and just naturally learned to love the Father on their own (I'm sure there is someone, somewhere, but it's not common.).

In my experience the Holy Spirit was wooing me long before I went to an IC. But, at the same time, I am able to admit that the IC was a type of tutor while I was growing in faith (as it is right now for many others I know). I have outgrown my tutor now, and it's time to move on...

In my study I came across this the other day:

Gal 3:23-27 (The Message)
Until the time when we were mature enough to respond freely in faith to the living God, we were carefully surrounded and protected by the Mosaic law. The law was like those Greek tutors, with which you are familiar, who escort children to school and protect them from danger or distraction, making sure the children will really get to the place they set out for. But now you have arrived at your destination:
By faith in Christ you are in direct relationship with God. Your baptism in Christ was not just washing you up for a fresh start. It also involved dressing you in an adult faith wardrobe--Christ's life, the fulfillment of God's original promise.

In those days, the children of wealthy Greeks and Romans were given babysitters who were responsible for watching over them until they became of age. I wonder if the IC is for some of us, how Paul viewed the Law? A tutor to "carefully surround and protect" us until we are able to hear and respond to the call of the Father on our own. Not the end all, be all, but one stop on the journey toward full sonship.

For many people I know, while they confess Jesus as their Lord, they are not at a place to understand all of the implications of having a direct relationship with God. It's not that they don't want it, they are just ignorant of it.

It's like the Emancipation Proclamation: Even though the slaves were legally freed by the proclamation, those who were ignorant of it remained slaves. Some slaves who knew about the proclamation chose to remain slaves because they didn't believe it. The slaves who knew and understood the proclamation were the ones in a position to be truely free. There were many, many slaves who went through each of the steps just mentioned on their path to real freedom...

Gal 5:1
Christ has set us free to live a free life. So take your stand! Never again let anyone put a harness of slavery on you.

I've been studying Galatians lately, and I've had some rumbling in my mind about Law and Grace. Listening to people like Wayne Jacobsen and some of the other folks around the net has just reaffirmed to me that the Christian life is not about rules, rituals, or religion, but about relationship.

Trusting in anything, other than Jesus, to bring about righteousness in our lives is doomed to failure. Why? Because those things actually separate us from grace.

Gal 5:4-5
I suspect you would never intend this, but this is what happens. When you attempt to live by your own religious plans and projects, you are cut off from Christ, you fall out of grace. Meanwhile we expectantly wait for a satisfying relationship with the Spirit.

There are some other things I've found on the net regarding this topic that I wonder about. For instance, in a post about having daily quiet time with God I found this comment:

"This sounds like another burdensome rule of the "religious" to me. Any exercise we may do can only be worthwhile if the benefit outweighs the effort. I get the feeling that anything we have to "schedule" or force ourselves to do, is not really valuable enough to do in the first place. To me, relegating ourselves to ritualistic obligations only takes away from the authentic lifegiving interactions we have with God as we journey."

Now, I might agree with this comment if the person having "quiet time" was trusting in the quiet time as a means of attaining righteousness. Or, if the person was implying that her salvation was in jeopardy if she did not do it, but that was not the context of the post. She was using quiet time as a way to interact with the Father. What might be a "burdensome rule" to one person, may be a means of trusting in, and interacting with God for the next person.

Further, what if the benefits of an exercise I partake in aren't realized for many years? I teach guitar lessons. The way for your fingers to learn muscle memory is to practice a little bit every day. For some people it takes a lot of time and effort to see any difference in their playing ability. Maybe the benefits of a spiritual practice aren't realized for many years. I don't think that discounts the benefits of the practice.

Can spiritual practices become "ritualistic obligations," or "burdensome rules"? You bet! It seems to me it is the attitude we have about a spiritual practice that can cause it to become a "ritualistic obligation," not the practice itself. So how do I know the difference? Here are a few questions I think we can ask ourselves to determine if a practice is unhealthy:

Is God leading me to do it?
Does the practice free me to love God with my heart, mind, soul and strength?
Does the practice assist me in relating to/with God?
Does the practice help me to have a "relationship with the Spirit"?
Do I feel guilt or shame if I do not participate in the practice?
Do I find myself trusting the practice more than trusting in the living God?
Do I realize that power is not found in the practice itself, but in the living God?