Trippin'

We got back from our little excursion with the kids yesterday. We went to Holiday World for a day and camped out for a couple of nights. We had a great time riding rides with the kids and being family! Abbie rode her first big rollercoaster...The Raven. The terror in her face going down that first hill was priceless, then she was nothing but giggles from then on. We probably won't be going to Six Flags again anytime soon, Holiday World was perfect for our kids ages.

We had an intersting time back at the campsite. We got back from the park and had some new neighbors. On one side of us was the "good Christian" group. They had their church t-shirts on and no beer in site. Our other neighbors were obviously having a rough time of it. We could hear them fighting and her saying "This whole day has been shit!" So, once again we are between the porch and altar (Joel 2:17). That seems to be where God wants us. The couple decided to leave in the darkness and started packing up the tent. Of course, the "good Christians" didn't lift a finger to help...after all, this guy was a Samaritan! I moved my van to give him some light and helped him pack up. Turned out his wife had a baby 4 weeks ago...probably a bad move to go camping that soon after...my guess is that it was not a pleasant ride home for them...

One of the highlights of the trip was getting to be about 20 yards away from two juvenile bald eagles. I thought they were hawks at first, but some park workers said they were eagles. We got to watch them soar from tree to tree, and eat some worms. You could hear the mother call to them in the night. Very cool!

I'm ready to go camping again...

P.S. - Thanks to George for the Wayne Jacobsen CD's on The Cross. We finally listened to the first one on the trip. Very good stuff!

We had church last night...

...didn't hear a sermon, didn't sing a song, didn't have an altar...we sat around the kitchen table of friends and poured out our hearts to each other. Tears were cried, and deep things in our hearts were made known...

It never ceases to amaze me when we gather in our homes to get to know Jesus and each other how the Spirit reveals Him to us. As we gather with some folks who want to love Jesus, but are just learning how after years of attending church, I am beginning to realize what servanthood means.

My friends on the journey still talk about loving the church we attend, not the church the family of God belongs to. They still talk about the programs and ministries of the organization and how much they are "blessed" by them. They still talk about how they feel such a part of the institution and they like it. You know what? I don't care. I was there once. God took me through a 3 year journey to get where I am at. I am believe that part of servanthood is allowing people the privledge of going through their process of coming to realize that Jesus is life. Exactly what we discussed last night:

Joh 1:3 Everything was created through him; nothing--not one thing!-- came into being without him.
Joh 1:4 What came into existence was Life, and the Life was Light to live by.

So, as their servant, I pray that God will help me keep pointing them to Jesus...Prayerfully, patiently, and hopefully full of compassion, mercy and grace...just how God has dealt with me on this journey...

Lessons learned...

My pool is crystal clear! The kids swam in it this week and had a blast!

The road to get to the clear water wasn't easy. It took patience, endurance and lots of chemicals.

I am reminded of my journey. I came to Jesus with a heart polluted by sin. Murky, green water. The stuff living in it wasn't supposed to be there. But over time God's been using chlorine to clean it up.

The change is gradual. As my pool cleared up I could see another 6 inches deeper into the pool each day. I knew stuff was happening, but it wasn't happening at the speed I would have liked! I wanted a clear pool now! You know, the pool didn't get green in a day, and didn't get clean in a day either!

You know what? Even though I can't see the algae right now, there's still some there... I need to keep the chlorine levels elevated to get rid of all of it! Just because I can't see sin in my own life doesn't mean that it's not there...I still need chlorine for my heart...Now that the pool is clean it takes less chemicals to keep it clean, but it still takes some chemicals. If I choose not to put chemicals in for a few days it will get cloudy, then green again... My life is like that too.

Every pool is different. Keeping the PH, Alkalinity, CYA and Chlorine levels right means getting to know your pool. It depends on outside factors too. How much rain, sun, chemicals in the tap water, and number of people in the pool. If use the same amount of chemicals that I use, you might get radically different results.

Like my pool, the things that I do to stay in an active, ongoing, loving, joyful relationship with Jesus may not work for you. What I do on my spiritual journey may not work for you at all! Pool chemistry is not a one size fits all, neither is the spiritual life.

There are some guidelines for good levels of chemicals though. I see that in my life too...Are the fruit of the Spirit present in my life? Am I more in love with Jesus than I was yesterday? Does servanthood flow from my life? Is God alone satisfying the longings of my heart? These are some signs that the water is staying fresh...

Joh 4:10 Jesus answered, "If you knew the generosity of God and who I am, you would be asking me for a drink, and I would give you fresh, living water."

+ May God keep our water clear! +

Whew! I got my homework done for tonight, so I'm giving myself the privledge of blogging. I am procrastinator. I mean that only in the best way, of course! :-) I work best at the last minute. The other guys in school spend hours on their papers and I spend minutes and usually still get A's. It does add some stress though...

We had our gathering last night. We are getting to know each other better, on deeper levels. This is SO DIFFERENT for some of these folks. One of them said that she has a Bible at home, but has not read it in years...this is a super lady, but gave up reading the Bible becuase the version she had was KJV and she couldn't understand it. They recognize that this a HUGE step in their journey....Nothing gets me fired up like seeing people grow spiritually. I look forward to what will be happening...

THE POOL LOOKS CLEARER TODAY! YEAH! I have been so discouraged with this pool, but after following some directions at Pool Solutions the algae is clearing up. The pool store gave some bogus advice! I'll pray for 'em later...

Potty Humor

For those of you who have "potty humor"...eh-hem Trish...check this out...

Had a good weekend. We took the kids to the community parade and Schweizerfest. We weren't planning on doing rides becuase we are takin the kids to Holiday World in the near future, but our friends got some free ride tickets and shared them with us. We are blessed in so many ways! Thanks Darrin and Penny!

On the pool front...AAAARRRRRGH! I am still battling with the algae! I am on the right track though thanks to Pool Solutions website. This is the most common sense stuff I have seen about pools. The fact is that the chemicals you buy at the pool store are essentially bleach, baking soda and Borax.....I don't think the pool store will tell you that though...

Here are some interesting lyrics from Pedro the Lion...

Letter From A Concerned Follower

It's weird to think of all the things that have not been keeping up with the times. It's ten o' clock, the sun has now just begun to set the western hills on fire.

I hear that you don't change.
And how do you expect to keep up with the trends?
You won't survive the information age unless you plan to change the truth to accommodate the brilliance of men, the brilliance of men.

Some folks think we're better now.
Social evolutions new synthetic will will keep us on a straighter path,
'cause better men use brand new math with no wrong answers.
I'm just a little bit worried. Do you have some sort of plan?
Have you been finally defeated by the cunning of these fully evolved men?

I hear that you don't change.
And how do you expect to keep up with the trends?
You won't survive the information age unless you plan to change the truth to accomodate the brilliance of men, yeah , the brilliance of men.

We had a good time last night. We drove 2 hours to Peoria to play some music for the United Methodist Conference. It is an interesting event.... I am so sensitive to the hypocrisy of the IC and heirarchical system that it was hard to concentrate on what I was there for....the most fun was just getting to fellowship on the ride up and back.

I was so proud of the band! We played for 3,000 people and everything went really well! Heck, Bob has only been playing bass for a few months...tough gig for a newbie. Actually, that was the biggest crowd I have every played for....I always new I'd play for large crowds...who knew it would be the UMC Conference! :-)

In my study I came across these verses:

Joh 17:1-3 Jesus said these things. Then, raising his eyes in prayer, he said: Father, it's time. Display the bright splendor of your Son so the Son in turn may show your bright splendor. You put him in charge of everything human So he might give real and eternal life to all in his charge. And this is the real and eternal life: That they know you, The one and only true God, And Jesus Christ, whom you sent.

Jesus has told us that eternal life consists of knowing Father and Jesus! Another example of how I missed the boat by understanding the Gospel to be a proposition to which I needed to give mental assent, and a moral code I must follow. It is in getting to know him intimately that I taste eternal life.

Is this what Jesus meant when he said:

Mar 1:15 The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God draws near. Repent, and believe the gospel.

Jesus is saying: A new era is here! This is a decisive, life-changing time! Change your life! Rethink your life! Reorder your life! The kingdom of God is in me! Get to know me and join the kingdom! Eternal life begins now! Trust in, lean back on, rest in this good news!

Spiritual Maturity

How do we know if we are maturing spiritually? I think that's a great question! Bill posted these signs from Foster's book "Prayer."

Signs of a maturing faith:

- continuing hunger for intimacy with God
- ability to forgive others at great personal cost
- a living sense that God alone can satisfy the longings of the human heart
- a deep satisfaction in prayer
- a realistic assessment of personal abilities and shortcomings
- a freedom from boasting about spiritual accomplishments
- a demonstrated ability to live out the demands of life patiently and wisely

What do you think? Is this accurate? Would you add or delete anything?

To the second sign I might change it to read "Ability to forgive and serve others at great personal cost." Jesus, fueled by love, came to serve; to be last; to be least.

Eph 4:15 God wants us to grow up, to know the whole truth and tell it in love--like Christ in everything. We take our lead from Christ, who is the source of everything we do.
Eph 4:16 He keeps us in step with each other. His very breath and blood flow through us, nourishing us so that we will grow up healthy in God, robust in love.

We had a great gathering the other night! People sitting around our living room, getting to know each other and talking about Kingdom stuff. I like it! We talked about why we go to the local church we attend, and what keeps us there, and what we wanted to get out of our gathering. We have a lot of former Catholics in our church, and the conversation turned toward the reasons that so many are choosing to attend Protestant churches.

I can't help but get the feeling that God is starting to move in Highland, IL. It has been so dry here for so long....I know that he was moving in the Hiduk house...

I am still seeking direction on the job front. Money is tight around here and I don't care for it. I'm not about wealth in the least, but when you can't take care of what you got it starts to wear on you... I have an offer for part-time work at the local library, but I wonder if it will be more trouble than it is worth...

We are playing some music at the Illinois Great Rivers Conference of the United Methodist Church. Basically, we are doing this at the pastor's request. These things are about as spiritually dead as you can get... I'm not backing down though. The band is going in with guns blazing! I think there might be some grey hair standing on end when we are done....

The Battle...

Not much time to Blog lately...I'm in a fierce battle with....my pool! We bought our house in November, so the pool was already "winterized" by the previous owners. What we found out is that meant they put the cover on it after about a ton of leaves had already fallen in it (God bless 'em!)! I am cleaning the filter daily, or more, and buying to many chemicals. We really don't have the money for it, but I'm looking at it like a great tool for us to gather around on hot summer nights...fellowship, fun, barbecue, maybe a beer or two....Sounds close to the Kingdom to me....

Saturday night we visited with The Oding's gathering again. It was so great just to sit back and watch the love that has blossomed in the past 5 or 6 months. These folks love each other, are caring for each other, and growing in love for Jesus.

Yesterday we had a small group "leadership meeting." We talked about what God is doing in our gatherings, challenges and succeses. I read a little bit out of The Jesus Style about love being the sole mark of a disciple, and leading by serving. It's great to be reminded about the core teachings of Jesus.

We have our first gathering this evening. We have people over all the time, but we decided to get intentional about asking some folks to gather. We have 7-8 couples coming tonight! Pray that God will multiply the space in our living room! It is awesome to see God working in ways that we have been dreaming and praying about for such a long time....

I'm going through he Gospel of John to get to know Jesus better. Trying to understand what was really important to Him. Jesus is present, the Spirit is teaching, the Father is being revealed.

Today I read John 14. There is so much there it is unreal! The keywords that Jesus says over and over are: believe, works, Spirit, love.

I was struck by these verses again...for the first time...

John 14:5-7
Thomas said, "Master, we have no idea where you're going. How do you expect us to know the road?" Jesus said, "I am the Road, also the Truth, also the Life. No one gets to the Father apart from me. If you really knew me, you would know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him. You've even seen him!"

I can relate to Thomas. A little honest, skeptical, and uninhibited. He voiced what he was feeling...confusion, despair, bewilderment...

Jesus' answer to him is earth-shattering. He doesn't claim to know the way, the truth and life as some type of formula he can teach us. He says, "I AM the way, the truth, and the life." He is the the answer! The answer is found in relationship with Him!

I have always focused so much on 14:6 that the next verse seemed to get lost. The word for "knew" in the Greek implies a journey ie. "came to know". In 14:7 Jesus is saying that if we have an experiential relationship with Him we will know the Father! We are to have a progressive, experiential relationship with Jesus as a way to the Father.

Jesus is the Road because His sinlessness allows him a clear view of the Father. Jesus is Truth because He makes sense of life. He is the Life. Death could not conquer Him. He is the source of all life, spiritual and physical! In knowing, resting and living with Him the Road, Truth and Life are ours!

Good Stuff!

We are still serving at an IC for the time being. I am as detached from the political baloney as I can be. I layed down a vision for a "small group" ministry some time ago and a few people have given it a shot. Really, the vision was more "house church", but labels don't matter to me a whole lot. God is starting to do some cool things through these groups. People are experiencing deeper relationships with God and each other...confronting issues in their lives...serving each other...loving each other... To be honest, the only reason I keep doing what I'm doing is because I know there are people that God is influencing through us... I don't mean that in an arrogant way either.

We hung out with some friends from one of the groups last night. We braved the storms, tornadoes etc. for some fellowship, barbecue, music and study. It was worth it. My friend, Tom has been facilitating and is doing a great job! We discussed a chapter from Wild At Heart...talked about our fathers, taking risks, and what it means to be the Bride of Christ. We discussed the "wild, dangerous, warrior" side of God that doesn't get talked about to often in the IC. Good stuff! God-stuff!

We've talked to a group of folks that want to start meeting together, so we will gather next Monday. I look forward to what God is doing!

Rain, Rain, Go Away...

Gen 9:11 And I will establish My covenant with you. Neither shall all flesh be cut off any more by the waters of a flood. Neither shall there any more be a flood to destroy the earth.

I'm holding God to this promise! We have had 8.5 inches of rain this month, the normal is 3.5. About 3 inches in the last two days, with more to come this weekend! What was a "slight leak" in the basement(according to the sellers of our house)turned into buckets full of water the past two nights.

Much needed break in the weather today though....grilled some pork steaks....I love being a gentile!

Leadership Pt.3

According to Clawson, a good leader "supports others so they can contribute." The "information age" is forcing heiarchical structures to put the power in the hands of those who do the work. "The need for vertical hierarchies to make good decisions is rapidly evaporating. In fact, in many cases, better decisions are being made by people who are closer to the data and the customer than those several layers up. And the layers are disappearing." Later he says, "Many of these [new structures] are built around circles or networks rather than pyramidic bureaucracies. Who has authority is becoming less and less the organizing principle; who has the right information and insight is becoming more and more important.

Now, I realize that analogy of church as a "business" is not a good one, and breaks down eventually. On the other hand, I believe that all truth is God's truth. So, is Clawson's view biblical? Do we see this in the Bible? Again, I think so...

What I see in the New Testament are a loose network of churches scattered across large distances. The pyramidic structure of the current institutional church didn't appear until Constantine. What I see are local bodies doing the best they can to deal with circumstances as they arise. Even when difficult circumstances arise, they did not turn their solution into a set of rules that every other church had to follow.

Act 6:1-5 During this time, as the disciples were increasing in numbers by leaps and bounds, hard feelings developed among the Greek-speaking believers--"Hellenists"--toward the Hebrew-speaking believers because their widows were being discriminated against in the daily food lines. So the Twelve called a meeting of the disciples. They said, "It wouldn't be right for us to abandon our responsibilities for preaching and teaching the Word of God to help with the care of the poor. So, friends, choose seven men from among you whom everyone trusts, men full of the Holy Spirit and good sense, and we'll assign them this task. Meanwhile, we'll stick to our assigned tasks of prayer and speaking God's Word." The congregation thought this was a great idea. They went ahead and chose-- Stephen, a man full of faith and the Holy Spirit, Philip, Procorus, Nicanor, Timon, Parmenas, Nicolas, a convert from Antioch.

In a bureacracy the question winds up being: How do we serve the organization and ourselves? What do we see here? Once again the principle is servanthood! How do we serve those who need to be served?

With Jesus as our source, each individual Christian has the information they need. The church ushered in the "information age" 2000 years ago when Jesus sent the Holy Spirit to lead us into truth!

John 16:13 However when he, the Spirit of truth, has come, he will guide you into all truth, for he will not speak from himself; but whatever he hears, he will speak. He will declare to you things that are coming.

Who has authority is actually more of an issue for the church today than it is for businesses. Primarily becuase the church has adopted worldly business principles and made the pastor CEO of the organization. The problem is that the CEO is removed from the day-to-day operation of the company. People are not as honest with the CEO as they are their coworkers.

For the church this means that the pastor is not in touch with what the Holy Spirit is doing through individuals. The pastor/CEO is primarily concerned with the needs of the organization. Erwin says, "Institutional authority can never be a satisfactory replacement for God-given abilities and the authority which accompanies such gifts..."

The church is the original "network" becuase everyone was meant to be connected directly to the source of all power: JESUS!

Leadership Continued...

My assumption is that leadership happens. You get a group of people together and, depending on what is happening, a leader emerges. I don't think that any one person is destined to be a leader in every situation. I see the Spirt giving gifts as they are needed. God should be the source of all leadership in the context of gatherings of Christ followers. The question is: Do we understand Biblical leadership?

Clawson says that a good leader "clarifies what others can contribute." Being a secular leadership book I find Biblical points of view all through it. He suggest that bureaucracies begin with job descriptions and try to shove people into the pre-designed mold. This is dehumanizing and frustrates those who are truly creative (which is a Godly character trait). Additionally, it suggests that "management knows exactly what needs to be done, that people can behave in robotic ways, and the environment will be stable enough to avoid the need for quick response time and creative employees." The alternative is to assume that people have talents, can learn new ones, and have a basic desire to do well.

What do we see in the Institutional Church (IC)? Exactly what Clawson says is not a healthy model of leadership. EVEN SECULAR PEOPLE CAN SEE THAT THESE ASSUMPTIONS ARE NOT HEALTHY! NOT THE IC, OF COURSE! In his book, The Jesus Style, Erwin points out that religious structures are carbon copies of secular business structures. They wind up being a "pyramid shaped, lord-it-over" type of system. Jesus' style was completely different!

Mat 20:27-28 Whoever wants to be first among you must be your slave. That is what the Son of Man has done: He came to serve, not be served--and then to give away his life in exchange for the many who are held hostage."

In the kingdom of God, the power structure is turned upside down, so that authority is on the bottom, not the top. Jesus served people because he knew their value, not because they would help the organization meet its goals. We need to recognize that each Christian has a direct, unique, relationship to Christ. God is working in each of us to do his work, for his purposes. God is our ultimate leader, creatively giving gifts to individuals for the good of the Body.

There is no organizational chart of how the Holy Spirit gives gifts. There is no manipulation or coercion to make people serve. Manipulation forces us defensively into a mold that someone has chosen for us. Freedom allows people to choose, change and grow.

Erwin says, "A servants job is to do all he can to make life better for others - to free them to be everything they can be." Biblical leadership is servanthood! It is valuing others so highly that I unknowingly wind up last.

Went to see Shrek 2 tonight. It was just as good, if not better, than the first. There was some sexual innuendo that I thought could have been left out. That's my taste, anyway.

We wanted to surprise the kids, so we took them for a walk to the store to get some candy. Brenden, who is 4, wanted the candy NOW! He didn't want to wait because he didn't know that we were walking to the theater for a bigger blessing. I had to stop and explain to him that mom and dad had some fun stuffed planned and he would have to trust that the fun was coming....

So, we get to the theater, and Brenden was sitting there waiting for the movie to start. He starts to fidget. Then he starts getting mad at all the advertisements and trailers. He was having a hard time understanding that the good part was coming...It was so close. If only he knew what I knew! If only I could help him understand! Waiting is a hard concept for a 4-year-old.....

...and a 36-year-old...

Maybe that's how God feels?
 

Between reading Level Three Leadership by Clawson for school and The Jesus Style by Erwin for my own sanity I have been coming to some realizations about the concept of leadership. I can't flesh it all out in one post, but I need to purge this stuff and get some feedback for my own sanity....Here it goes...

I was not looking forward to reading a book about leadership for my college class. I’ve read them before and they all wind up being very worldly, John Maxwell kind of crap. I was pleasantly surprised as I started reading Level Three Leadership though. To my surprise, the principles were also congruent with the biblical principles that I was reading about in The Jesus Style. These principles have more to do with finding your purpose, gifts and passions then they do with typical business principles. Here are six steps that Clawson believes make up an effective leader and the biblical principles that I found in them:

1. Clarifying Your Center
According to Clawson, clarifying your center is about determining what you believe and value. Centering, therefore, is often an ongoing, reflective, meditative exercise. Are you clear on what your life’s mission is? Are you clear about what’s at your center? Do you know what your stand for?

Additionally, you need to identify what engages you. What captures your imagination, your leisure thinking, and your dreams? What is it that causes you to smile spontaneously, to increase your pulse, and to speak animatedly with others? What is it that motivates you and prepares you to expend tremendous amounts of energy, mental and physical, as you anticipate participating?

Here are some other questions that seem to connect for me while reading The Jesus Style:

Do I know Jesus? Does Jesus capture my imagination? Does he engage you?
Do I have a grasp on Jesus’ passionate, relentless love for me?
Is Jesus my center?
Do I believe that all knowledge and wisdom dwell in and come from Jesus?
Do I have a vision of what Jesus wants me to become?
Do I understand what it means to be the kind of servant that Jesus was?
As a direct result of Jesus’ love for me, and those around me, do I have a feeling, vision, dream of what God is doing through me to serve others?

I believe that as a direct result of having a personal, deep, intimate, friendship with Jesus he will express himself through us. Those visions and dreams of the person that we long to be are a glimpse of what he wants for us. Jesus' love is creative. Servanthood explodes from the love he gives to us.

Eph 2:4 Instead, immense in mercy and with an incredible love,
Eph 2:5 he embraced us. He took our sin-dead lives and made us alive in Christ. He did all this on his own, with no help from us!
Eph 2:6 Then he picked us up and set us down in highest heaven in company with Jesus, our Messiah.
Eph 2:7 Now God has us where he wants us, with all the time in this world and the next to shower grace and kindness upon us in Christ Jesus.
Eph 2:8 Saving is all his idea, and all his work. All we do is trust him enough to let him do it. It's God's gift from start to finish!
Eph 2:9 We don't play the major role. If we did, we'd probably go around bragging that we'd done the whole thing!
Eph 2:10 No, we neither make nor save ourselves. God does both the making and saving. He creates each of us by Christ Jesus to join him in the work he does, the good work he has gotten ready for us to do, work we had better be doing.

Rom 12:9 Let love be without hypocrisy, shrinking from evil, cleaving to good;
Rom 12:10 in brotherly love to one another, loving fervently, having led one another in honor.
Rom 12:11 As to diligence, not slothful, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord;

Here are some of my blessings! 

Hannah woke up early today and she climbed in bed with me while mom got ready for work. We had a good talk about spiritual things. Hannah is an active, concrete thinker. Spiritual things don't hit her radar very often, but today I shared with her the spiritual battle we are in. How the Enemy drops a thought in our mind. How our sinful nature takes that thought and runs with it. How Jesus sacrificed himself and made us new creations. How God has given us the Holy Spirit to lead us into truth and give us power to make good choices.

I asked her what lies the Enemy tells her and she said, "He wants me to lie." She is right about that. I watch her as she tells a lie and I see her countenance fall. She knows that she is letting God and her parents down.

Hannah also has a great heart! I told her that God has something special planned for her and asked her if she knew what it was. She said, "God wants me to feed the children." Believe me, if anybody can make that happen, it will be Hannah!

Like Hannah, I am learning to listen to my heart. Hear the Spirit whisper. Discern the lies of the Enemy. Walk in the Spirit as opposed to the sinful nature. All in the realization that I am loved with an everlasting love.

Mat 18:1-5 (The Message)
At about the same time, the disciples came to Jesus asking, "Who gets the highest rank in God's kingdom?" For an answer Jesus called over a child, whom he stood in the middle of the room, and said, "I'm telling you, once and for all, that unless you return to square one and start over like children, you're not even going to get a look at the kingdom, let alone get in. Whoever becomes simple and elemental again, like this child, will rank high in God's kingdom. What's more, when you receive the childlike on my account, it's the same as receiving me.

Exchanging the "right thing" for the Real Thing

I've been giving some thought about how the church has taught me to do the "right thing" at the expense of the Real Thing. The Institutional Church (IC) and the religious leaders therein would like you to believe that Christianity is about being moral and ethical. Ethics are a set of principles of right conduct, or, the rules or standards governing the conduct of a person or the members of a profession/group. Morals are culturally accepted definitions of right and wrong behavior.

The IC would like you to believe that Christianity is about doing the right thing, saying the right words, and looking the right way. Don't believe me? Try leading "worship" unshaven, wearing a t-shirt and jeans with holes in them at an IC. Try to explain the concept of Jesus in the Pub to religious people. Or, better yet, try talking to people in the IC when the real questions of life have slammed you to the ground, you know, the ones that don't have easy answers... The IC wants nice guys. Men and women that do what they are told, and that will fit into the preconceived, programmed structure and not rock the boat.

The IC will try to get you to substitute the "right thing" for the Real Thing. Morality and ethics are about doing the "right thing." They are about rules, principles, formulas, programs and rituals. The problem is that real Christianity is dangerous. It is not a predictable principle. It cannot be summed up in a formula. CHRISTIANITY IS JESUS!

John Elderidge says in Wild At Heart, "There are no formulas with God. Period. So there are no formulas for the man who follows him. God is a Person, not a doctrine. He operates not like a system - not even a theological system - but with all the originality of a truly free and alive person. 'The realm of God is dangerous,' says Archbishop Anthony Bloom. 'You must enter it and not just seek information about it.'"

"What I am saying is that our false self demands a formula before he'll engage; he wants a guarantee of success, and mister, you aren't going to get one. So there comes a time in a man's life when he's got to break away from all that and head off into the unknown with God...."

Dallas Willard says, "The ideal for divine guidance is...a conversational relationship with God: the sort of relationship suited to friends who are mature personalities in a shared enterprise."

When someone starts a conversational relationship with God they may become unpredictable, subversive, countercultural, and possibly dangerous. They begin to follow their heart, led by the Holy Spirit. They might dare to question long held rules, rituals, principles and formulas. They might meet with "sinners" in a Pub. They might call the church council a "brood of vipers" or "white washed tombs". Maybe they would overturn the offering table in church.

But what happened to Johnny? He used to be such a nice boy....

Here is the word picture that Trish came up with for substituting morality for relationship: It's like having a can of Vess cola and a can of Coca-Cola side by side. Which one would you choose? Vess cola is adequate, but Coke is on a whole different level. Relationship with Jesus: HE'S THE REAL THING!

Listen to God Speak To You...

Wayne Jacobsen has written The Shepherd's Call from God's point of view. Read it and see if you hear God speaking to you....

I've liked Vertical Horizon since before they got famous. I heard this on the radio the other day and thought of the journey that many of us are on....

Everything You Want

Somewhere there's speaking
It's already coming in
Oh and it's rising at the back of your mind
You never could get it
Unless you were fed it
Now you're here and you don't know why

But under skinned knees and the skid marks
Past the places where you used to learn
You howl and listen
Listen and wait for the
Echoes of angels who won't return

[Chorus]
He's everything you want
He's everything you need
He's everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
He says all the right things
At exactly the right time
But he means nothing to you
And you don't know why

You're waiting for someone
To put you together
You're waiting for someone to push you away
There's always another wound to discover
There's always something more you wish he'd say

But you'll just sit tight
And watch it unwind
It's only what you're asking for
And you'll be just fine
With all of your time
It's only what you're waiting for

Out of the island
Into the highway
Past the places where you might have turned
You never did notice
But you still hide away
The anger of angels who won't return

I am everything you want
I am everything you need
I am everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
I say all the right things
At exactly the right time
But I mean nothing to you and I don't know why
And I don't know why
Why
I don't know

We celebrated Mother's Day with my mom yesterday. We grilled some chicken and steaks, setup the slip-and-slide for the kids and just had a good time. We got home just in time for a couple of our youth group kids to babysit and Trish and I went out for a couple of hours. We went to a local outdoor eatery/bar and absorbed some nature, then went to the park and talked. A very nice relaxing, connecting time...

We talked about what God is doing right now in our lives. This is a time of healing for us. Healing from deep, long-formed wounds. This is a watershed time. We have some decisions to make about our future and God has been pretty silent, other than saying "Trust in me." God is not giving visions. He is telling us that NOW is what matters. What we are going through RIGHT NOW is what really matters. Embrace what you are going through. Embrace Me. Visions, talk of the future, will come later....

Check out Trish's blog for more info on her journey.... I thank God for her! She is such a great mom and wife! I have three beautiful children that are the evidence!

We also had some great prayer time with Tyler, who is Lindsey's brother. I would love to give some details, but the stuff is to personal. God is doing some things in him, and of course, our Enemy wants to squash it. Keep praying for him!

Barna's Survey of the "Unchurched"

Challenges for the Faithful

Barna noted that to unchurched people embracing church life is “both counter-cultural and counter-intuitive.” Reaching out to unchurched people is difficult for born again Christians because the two groups have such different viewpoints and lifestyles. “Born again adults are more excited about a church’s strengths and more forgiving of its weaknesses, more disposed to spiritual growth, and less skeptical of theological and biblical claims. They neither see nor understand the obstacles that impede the unchurched. Addressing the reticence of the unchurched takes more than prayer and hard work: it requires a lot of deep reflection to see the world and the local church from a completely different angle.

“Unchurched people are not just lazy or uniformed,” the researcher continued. “They are wholly disinterested in church life – often passionately so. Stirring worship music won’t attract them because worship isn’t even on their radar screen. More comfortable pews cannot compete with the easy chair or the bed that already serve the unchurched person well. Church events cannot effectively compete with what the world has to offer. The only thing the Church can provide that no one else has is a life-changing, practical encounter – and on-going relationship – with the living God and with people transformed by similar encounters. Until such a connection is made, focusing on features, programs and benefits other than such a life-shaping encounter is more likely to lose ground than to gain it.”

Barna noted that the millions of young unchurched have no understanding of or interest in a church, even if it is “contemporary” in style. “Millions of young adults are more interested in truth, authenticity, experiences, relationships and spirituality than they are in laws, traditions, events, disciplines, institutions and religion. The confluence of preconceived notions, past experiences and evolving lifestyles and values means that existing churches simply cannot reach millions of today’s unchurched people. The rapidly swelling numbers of unchurched people may be forcing existing churches to reinvent their core spiritual practices while holding tightly to their core spiritual beliefs. It will take radically new settings and experiences to effectively introduce unchurched individuals to biblical principles and practices.”

+ Father, may pastors take these statements to heart! +

Wounded

I've been reading John Eldridge's book "Wild at Heart." In one way it's a rehash of "The Sacred Romance" with a masculine twist, but it has stirred some God stuff in me that I going to share. I am going to take the risk of being vulnerable in a public place because I think it may help some people.

We are all walking wounded. All of us at some point in our life have been told things that have damaged our spirits. Many times it's been our parents. I'm not talking about direct abuse, although that is all to common and causes many wounds, but I'm talking about those of us that come from seemingly good families.

Now, I love my dad, so don't get me wrong. But, in my teen years when I needed him most, he remained detached. My dad and I have never really connected at a heart level. I don't know if my dad is even capable of it. I have a feeling that he never connected with his dad either (my Grandpa died before I was born, so I don't know firsthand). We are closer today than we have ever been, but there is still something missing.

Do you ever have things, seemingly from nowhere, pop into your mind from your childhood? It is interesting to me that I am 36 years old and there is still something from 7th grade that pops into my mind occasionally. I was one of three white kids that rode on an all african-american bus. Needless to say there were some tense relationships. One day a kids decided he wanted to fight me. He got off of the bus at my stop with one of his friends and we went at it. I threw a couple of punches, and not knowing if his friend was going to jump in I ran.

I have never been a fighter. Some people seem born to fight. I've been in fights, but that is just not where my heart was. Satan uses that wound to keep me where he wants me....passive and weak. I don't know what your wound is, but I can guarantee you the the Enemy uses it to cripple you. He will bring it up to make you feel worse about yourself than you already do. If you start to deal with it he will redouble his efforts. Hey! I'm 36 years old and do you really think this situation that happened when I was in 7th grade pops into my mind for no reason?! Hell, no! That's how the Enemy works!

Here is the good news! There is healing to be found. It won't be found in the masks we wear to cover our wound. You won't find it in the many and varied ways our society provides to keep you distracted, dumb and "happy". You won't find it in your girlfriend, boyfriend, or spouse. You won't find it in the mastery of your profession. You may not even find it in church. Healing is found in having an intimate, deep, connection with Jesus.

That sounds so simple and trite, but it is the truth. We have to face our wounds. Call them what they are. Tell the Enemy that he is not welcome in our lives and then seek the heart of God with reckless abandon. What you are doing is letting the ultimate Father, father you. Where our earthly parents fall short, God our Father will take over. Where our "friends" on earth have let us down, and maybe even abused us, Jesus, our forever Friend, will put his arm around us and call us friend. He will send the Comforter to comfort us in our pain as we deal with these wounds.

Here's the catch....yea, there had to be one, right?....It comes at a price. The price is living a lifestyle that is committed to intimacy with Jesus. Finding those disciplines that help you come close to the Lord and sticking with them until the healing happens. Forsaking your past priorities for the new priorities of God's Kingdom. It's a small price really, considering the benefits that await....

So, here's what I sense Jesus saying to me: "You thought you were weak, but as you have submitted to me you have been made strong. Not everybody will pick up their family and move away from friends and family to follow my call. Every time you speak at a church meeting knowing you will be misunderstood for my sake it is courageous. Every time that you talk to a hurting teenager you are entering into battle. Every time you pray over your children you are using the weapons I gave you. Don't believe that sissy, no-account, two-faced, slick tongued liar anymore! You are mine!"

May we all find our healing in Jesus.

Haven't blogged in awhile. I've been recording a song and writing some others. I am sick as dog right now....sore throat, sinus, cough....fun stuff....

I've got some thoughts ruminating about what I've been reading from John Eldridge's "Wild at Heart." They will have to wait for when I can think coherently....

Questions

Some people are afraid of questions. It's like they think God is going to freak out if they question something the Bible says, or something they have been taught about Him. I'm sorry. God is bigger than that. He is not afraid of your questions.

A lot of the questions that used to trouble me are really paradoxes. A paradox is a statement that seems absurd or self-contradictory but... turns out to be true. A paradox consists of two truths that, when laid side by side, appear to contradict. However, upon further reflection, they prove to be compatible. “While real contradictions are impossible to reconcile, paradoxes are merely difficult to reconcile.” These things just don't bother me like they used to...in fact, I see them as a necessary part of spiritual growth.

Check out some of G.K. Chesterton's writings. He was the king of paradox! Check out some paradoxes of the faith, then if you are interested read this article.

The humble are exalted. The exalted are humbled. “Those who humble themselves will be exalted.” (Luke 14: 11)

Lose your life to find it. Find your life and lose it. “Those who find their life will lose it and those who lose themselves for my sake will find it.” (Matthew10:39)

Slavery leads to freedom. “Having been freed from sin, you became slaves of righteousness.” (Rom. 6:18; cf. 1 Cor. 7:22)

The foolish are wise. “If any one among you think that he is wise in this age, let him become foolish that he may become wise.” (1 Corinthians 3:18; cf. 4:10)

The poor are rich. “Listen, my beloved brethren: did not God choose the poor of this world to be rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom.” (James 2:5)

The weak are strong. “...for when I am weak, then I am strong.” (2 Corinthians 12:10)

Die to live. “...always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body.” (2 Corinthians 4:10)

Give to receive. “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” (Acts 20:35)

The first are last. The last, first. “The last shall be first, and the first last.” (Matthew 20:16; Mark 9:35)

For those who don't think Jesus is in the Pubs....check this out. God is doing some cool things these days...not that He ever stopped.

We had the small group leaders in our church over for some hang-out time and it was so interesting to listen. All of them are great folks! Each using their unique gifts and abilities to help people connect with each other and God. It was so interesting to listen and pick out the vocabulary that gives clues about their levels of spirituality. Many of them still look to the organizational church as the answer to spiritual growth ie. you just need to go to church and participate in the programs to grow spiritually....I'm just in a different place now....but, I'm glad people were patient with me when I was going through that phase. I'll be the first to admit that living in the tension between organizational church and relationship with Jesus is difficult.

Had a good conversation with Trish this afternoon....about trusting God, relationships and roles. There was a time, I am sad to say, that I would have gotten my self-worth from being a "Worship Leader" or a "Youth Leader." Who I was, was tied up in what I did. My role was a big part of who I was. I am realizing more each day that the roles we play really don't mean anything outside of the context of having a relationship with Jesus. If I am a stay-at-home dad, or a worship leader, or a janitor, or a pastor really shouldn't help or hinder my relationship with Jesus (that's easier to say than live out).

Upon some reflection, here is what I come up with...My recent spiritual struggles have come as the result of entering a new stage of faith. Realizing that "going to church" just doesn't cut it anymore; the roles that I placed my self-worth in just place me in a cycle of proving myself over and over again; keeping busy doing "church stuff" is far different from a vocation; the rules and rituals where much of my early faith was formed are shallow and empty.

So there is a process of dieing, of letting go of the old visions and dreams and letting God birth new ones. Because I believe that my relationship with God is paramount I am recommitting to some spritual practices that I've been neglecting. The fact is, that looking back, I can see a gradual drifting from the things that connected me with God in the first place. Because spirituality is not about rituals or rules, but relationship I am renewing my dedication to some of the "monastic" disciplines: prayer, silence, solitude, study, meditation, etc. Refocusing on Christ, opening myself to His ttransforming grace, trying to follow Jesus' example, listen to and obey the Spirit.

Kevin Reeves

For those of you who remember the guy who played drums on the keyboard better than most drummers can play drums for us at Highland Hope, check out Kevin Reeves website. Besides just being a good friend and an all-around awesome guy, he is one of the most talented guys I know. He is making a go of it in Nashville with some other Greenville College alumni. Spread the word....and if you need any music work done contact him!!! Check out his song "Shine."

www.lindseybricker.com is active and working!

Just register, logon and submit a new post. I look forward to reading all the good stuff about Lindsey!

We had a worship service for the youth tonight. Lots of young people wanting to take some steps in their journey. I said, and I repeat: It is not about rules, or rituals, but about relationship. There are lots of people who "don't drink, don't smoke and don't chew"; there are a lot of people who "go to church" religiously. But, the real deal is found in having a relationship with Jesus Christ. Getting to know Him and His purpose for your life, which is being like Him!

Mat 7:21-23 "Knowing the correct password--saying 'Master, Master,' for instance--isn't going to get you anywhere with me. What is required is serious obedience--doing what my Father wills. I can see it now--at the Final Judgment thousands strutting up to me and saying, 'Master, we preached the Message, we bashed the demons, our God-sponsored projects had everyone talking.' And do you know what I am going to say? 'You missed the boat. All you did was use me to make yourselves important. You don't impress me one bit. You're out of here.'

Mat 7:24-28 "These words I speak to you are not incidental additions to your life, homeowner improvements to your standard of living. They are foundational words, words to build a life on. If you work these words into your life, you are like a smart carpenter who built his house on solid rock. Rain poured down, the river flooded, a tornado hit--but nothing moved that house. It was fixed to the rock. "But if you just use my words in Bible studies and don't work them into your life, you are like a stupid carpenter who built his house on the sandy beach. When a storm rolled in and the waves came up, it collapsed like a house of cards."

When Jesus concluded his address, the crowd burst into applause. They had never heard teaching like this.

Lindsey's Blog is almost ready!!!

My friend Blue is setting up a Blog for the family and friends of Lindsey to post their thoughts, memories and prayers. This will be a cool a way to permanently honor her in cyberspace. Stay tuned and I'll let you know when it is ready....

HE IS RISEN!!!!

The Disciples, surrounded by darkness, despair and hopelessness buried a friend on Good Friday. By Sunday everything had changed. Jesus, the Messiah, had risen from the dead! The tomb was empty! There was hope! There was life! There was a future!

The tone of Easter in the Highland, IL area is a little different this year. On Good Friday we buried a friend....but, today there is hope, there is life, there is a future! Lindsey's tomb is not empty, but one day it will be! Today is not about Lindsey, but in the context of the Resurrection of Jesus we can celebrate herfuture hope, and ours too!

The ramifications of the empty tomb don't just lay in the future! We have the possiblity of a new life HERE AND NOW! Our old life is gone, the life of rules, and law, and gritting your teeth to be "good." Jesus has taught a new way to live and backed it up by the power of the Resurrection!

Eph 4:22-24
Since, then, we do not have the excuse of ignorance, everything--and I do mean everything--connected with that old way of life has to go. It's rotten through and through. Get rid of it! And then take on an entirely new way of life--a God-fashioned life, a life renewed from the inside and working itself into your conduct as God accurately reproduces his character in you.

Participate in the Resurrection lifestyle today and everyday!!!!!

Gal 5:22-23
But what happens when we live God's way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard--things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely.

KINGDOM LIFE BABY!

Thanks for all of the prayers! Our community is dealing with this whole thing as best we can. The wake was last night. Lindsey looked beautiful, like she was sleeping. There were picture collages everywhere. It took us 2 1/2 hours to see her and the family. The line was out the funeral home and half way down the block.

The funeral is today. Pray that we will make it through the song we are singing. Pray for all of the students that are torn to pieces right now. Pray for the family that has lost so much, and gained so much at the same time. Pray that Spirit moves in a miraculous way....

The joyful part of this is that Lindsey was such and awesome kid that love the Lord! She is with Him, worshipping Him with elders, feeling no pain, never to cry a tear again, bathed in the Glory of the Lord, casting her crown before His feet, eating from the Tree of Life...


Before the Throne it was like a clear crystal sea. Prowling around the Throne were Four Animals, all eyes. Eyes to look ahead, eyes to look behind.
Rev 4:7 The first Animal like a lion, the second like an ox, the third with a human face, the fourth like an eagle in flight.
Rev 4:8 The Four Animals were winged, each with six wings. They were all eyes, seeing around and within. And they chanted night and day, never taking a break: Holy, holy, holy Is God our Master, Sovereign-Strong, THE WAS, THE IS, THE COMING.
Rev 4:9 Every time the Animals gave glory and honor and thanks to the One Seated on the Throne--the age-after-age Living One--
Rev 4:10 the Twenty-four Elders would fall prostrate before the One Seated on the Throne. They worshiped the age-after-age Living One. They threw their crowns at the foot of the Throne, chanting,
Rev 4:11 Worthy, O Master! Yes, our God! Take the glory! the honor! the power! You created it all; It was created because you wanted it.

Then the Angel showed me Water-of-Life River, crystal bright. It flowed from the Throne of God and the Lamb,
Rev 22:2 right down the middle of the street. The Tree of Life was planted on each side of the River, producing twelve kinds of fruit, a ripe fruit each month. The leaves of the Tree are for healing the nations.
Rev 22:3 Never again will anything be cursed. The Throne of God and of the Lamb is at the center. His servants will offer God service--worshiping,
Rev 22:4 they'll look on his face, their foreheads mirroring God.
Rev 22:5 Never again will there be any night. No one will need lamplight or sunlight. The shining of God, the Master, is all the light anyone needs. And they will rule with him age after age after age.

Kids are listening to their parents—Their parents' music, that is

'Bout time they wisened up!

Lindsey's showing is Thursday and the funeral is Friday. Here is the newspaper article. Lindsey's mom asked me to sing "I Can Only Imagine." I am praying to get through it. I am working on a song too. Lindsey was a dancer and singer...Lindsey's mom told me the other night that she knows where she is, but is having a hard time letting her go. I think that's a great way to look at it.

Singing With The Angels (Lindsey's Song)

I’ve got so many questions
Every one comes back to why?
There’s so much that I can’t understand
An emptiness that words can’t describe

Chorus:
Knowing where you are
I find the strength to let you go
Cause your singing with the angels
And dancing with the Lord

I'll hold your memories close
I'll trust the promises are true
I'll let your spirit fly
I know one day I'll be with You

Bridge:
Oh, you'll never cry again
Now you fully understand
The only thing there really is to know...

Sounds of hell

I never want to hear the sounds I heard today again. "Slim chance." "You have a choice to make." "Her heart is not beating on it's own." The wailing and weeping of high school students, who have lost their 2nd friend in one year, as the principal announces on the intercom that their friend has died. That sound sends shivers down my spine!

I am numb. I've been with the family and at the high school all day. This sucks. No answers to all of the questions being asked. We are opening up the church building tonight for anyone who wants to hang out, talk, grieve...

I just don't know how to explain to my little girls that the friend they thanked for singing such a beautiful song yesterday is dead today.

Thank you for your prayers concerning Lindsey. She has gone to be with the Lord. The family is going to need constant prayer. Their names are Bob, Jamie, Tyler,Kristin, Sawyer and Bailey. Pray also for our community. Roger and some of our other friends are up at the school helping the kids deal with their grief. Please pray for all.. There are no answers. There is no understanding. This is almost too much to bare.

Thanks for lifting all up. Trish

PLEASE PRAY FOR LINDSEY BRICKER! She is one of our youth and she and her brother were rear ended on the way to school today and she has been given a slim chance. They believe she broke her neck and was having internal bleeding and is now on her way to surgery. She is an amazing young woman and is very loved. She is 15.. Brother Tyler is having neck pain and is beating himself up really badly even though it isn't his fault. Father God, we humbly lift this situation up to you. You are the great physician and healer. We are asking for a miracle. In Jesus Name.......

Subtle Arrogance

In the past few weeks I’ve participated in, or read some disturbing conversations with people that claim to be on a “different spiritual plane” than the rest of us, and therefore are more mature. Mind you, these are good folks who are on a deep spiritual journey, and are misunderstood by some people. I write this just as much for my own benefit because I struggle with some of these issues too. The bottom line is: Maturity is found just as much in what we do, as it is in what we believe.

There is large chasm between what the Church is and what God would like the Church to be. I struggle with this big-time. I’m an Idealist through and through. I also tend toward pessimism. I can make Swiss cheese out of any plan you give me. God has been working on me in this area and here is what I’ve found: Maturity is found in how you deal with the gap between the ideal and the reality. I have a choice. I can whine, moan and bitch about every little thing that falls short of the ideal, or I can do something to change it. That doesn’t mean I won’t ever critique, or discern the problems, but it does mean that once I discern the problem I will do something constructive about it. It doesn’t mean that I won’t deconstruct things that need to be deconstructed, but it does mean that I will attempt to construct something after the deconstruction (What did I just say?).

There is a difference between critiquing something, or someone, and believing that your way is the only way. If you believe that you’ve been made privy to some “hidden knowledge,” that is great (maybe). Crusading against everyone who has a different point of view, or is not as “enlightened” is not a sign of maturity. There are constructive ways and destructive ways to challenge people, and I am seeing a lot of destruction from people that claim to be mature. Maturity is found in “growing in grace and knowledge,” “rebuking with patience,” and humility. Maybe maturity is found in the gentleness and patience we use with those who are not as “spiritually mature” as we are.

There is a subtle arrogance that can creep into our conversations and decision-making processes that reveals our true maturity, or lack of it. Yes, I see things differently. It doesn’t mean that everyone else is wrong. People are in different places on their journey. If God is leading you to believe that you, or your group, are the sole proprietors of truth it’s time to take a humility check. If you’re boasting about “how God revealed to you how little you really know about Him,” it’s still boasting.

Lastly, I think maturity is found in service. Isolating ourselves from the larger body of Christ because “they don’t get it” just reveals our immaturity. Is there a time to separate and try something “new.”? Hell, yeah. But, that doesn’t mean we should let spiritual arrogance keep us from fellowshipping with, encouraging, and teaching those who choose to do church a traditional way, or from those who we perceive as less mature.

Trish and I have some big decisions coming up. Vocation, life direction, God's will, career, medical insurance, church, transformation, and philosophy of life are words on our lips in recent days. I graduate in October which will set in motion a series of events that will force us to make some changes. It's time for us to re-evaluate our philosophy of life; review our past decisions and their consequences; clarify the core values on which we base our decisions. It's a time of awareness, listening, and stillness.

It's interesting to note that the "will of God" in the Bible never talks about our immediate circumstances, but about having our character transformed (many times through suffering). Here are a few recommended steps from pamphlet that Henry Drummond wrote:

1. PRAY
2. THINK
3. TALK TO WISE PEOPLE, but do not regard their decision as final.
4. BE AWARE OF THE BIAS OF YOUR OWN WILL, but do not be too much afraid of it. God never unnecessarily thwarts one's nature and likings, and it is a mistake to think that His will is in the line of the disagreeable.
5. IN THE MEANTIME< DO THE NEXT THING, for doing God's will in small things is preparation for doing it in great things.
6. WHEN DECISION AND ACTION are necessary, GO AHEAD.
7. NEVER RECONSIDER your decision whe it is finally acted upon.
8. You will probably not find out till afterwards, perhaps long afterwards, that you were led at all.

Gotta love #8!

This weekend we went to visit with Trish's Brother-In-Law who just got back from Iraq. He is a captain in the 101st in charge of a battalion of cannons. He won a bronze star for "doing his duty". That means he pulled a family of civilians out of a burning ammo dump that exploded while they were looting it for the metal. Listening to him talk about his experience, and seeing the pictures from over there was really interesting. It becomes really obvious that the news reports a slanted story. The bottom line is death, blood, destruction and sex sells, humanitarian aid and construction just don't make the news. While I think the US Govt. has other motives for being over there, it was cool to get another point of view.

We also had dinner with the folks from our worship team. It was nice just to hang out, share, learn some songs and talk about spiritual things. Knowing a little bit about the stages of faith is helping me to be more patient with people. Seeing them on the same journey, but in a different place is allowing me to see people in our city from a different perspective. These are good people who haven't had the experiences that I've had. Not that I'm better, or more advanced, but just in a different place. I used to just get pissed-off because people weren't "serious" about their faith, but the truth is that they have had a flawed model of what faith looks like.

While I still desire to have some "like-minded" people to journey with, maybe surrounding myself with like-minded people is a form of isolation. Maybe not so different from institutional church's isolation from the rest of the culture.

I have been revisiting Fowler's theories about stages of faith. Through hundreds of interviews Fowler was able to determine that people of all religions go through similar stages of faith. The bottom-line is that when we are "saved" we begin a progressive and predictable journey toward Christ-likeness. Communities also seem to go through a similar pattern, as evidenced by Israel. So, these stages become guides and tools of where individuals and communities are in their spiritual growth toward Christ-likeness.

The really interesting part is that the last two stages, Conjunctive and Universal, are evidenced by a detachment from the groups where "faith" has taken place, and a increasingly singular faith in God. My first thought was that the institutional church has a vested interest in not helping people reach these last two levels of faith! I asked Prof. Thompson about this theory and he smiled and said, "People who reach these levels of faith cause pastor's a lot of trouble." People in these stages of faith begin to challenge the pastor's/denomination's teachings, practices and motives. These people will either choose to live in the conflict of their consciousness and commitments, or they will leave and forego their commitments to seek the "deeper life."

Thompson believes individuals, groups and churches go through each of the faith stages. The stages cannot be skipped. The stages are progressive, and some stages may be permanent, depending on the conditions of spiritual growth. Additionally, Fowler believes that the advanced stages are a result of cooperation with the Spirit. Therefore, these stages portray ways in which God intends to call individuals, groups and churches to maturity of knowing, moral development. Israel (the nation) and Jesus (an individual) are representative of the process.

Looking deeper into these stages, I can definitely see my own journey and those of people I am journeying with... I can also see more clearly the stage of faith of my church....


Primal Stage – Genesis – Birth Stories of Jesus – Decision to be a Christ-follower
 Represents maximum human dependency; maximum care by others, including God.
 Genesis - The beginning of Salvation History for the Hebrew/Israelite/Jew.
 Jesus birth.
 Decision is made to follow Christ.

Intuitive-Projective – Call of Fathers(Creeds) – Journey to/from Egypt – Romance/Setting Apart
 Babies learn that “others” are out there, with whom to interact.
 Call of Abraham and the verbally repeated in Israel’s creeds of Duet. 6:20-25 and Duet. 26::5-10. Call of Abraham and Egyptian slavery.
 Jesus journeys to and from Egypt. (Math. 2:14-15)
 The follower learns that he is “called” and “set apart,” but is still largely dependent on “other people like him.” This is often a time of joy and bliss.

Mythic-Literal – Exodus, Sinai Stories – Jesus Returns to Nazareth - Non-negotiable Faith
 One learns stories and ways of acting which define one’s family and group identity.
 Stories of the Exodus and Sinai celebrated in Passover and the Feast of Weeks form Israel’s identity as a nation/people and develop a national consciousness.
 Jesus returns to Nazareth. (Math. 2:19-23)
 The follower begins to take on the stories, beliefs and observances that symbolize belonging to the community. Beliefs and morality are appropriated with literal interpretations.

Synthetic-Conventional – Wandering and Conquest – Jesus Grows and is Baptized – Loyalty to Group
 Loyalties to persons or groups from the core of one’s identity. Strong attachment to ideals and rules.
 Israel begins to establish the parameters of what it means to be God’s people in the 40 years of wandering and the conquest of Israel. This is reinforced in Sukkoth (Feast of Booths) and Bar Mitzpha.
 Jesus “grew and became strong in spirit, filled with wisdom.” (Lk. 2:40) Jesus is Bar Mitzphad (Lk. 2:42ff.)
 The follower experiences a synthesis of Church, Bible, stories, and experience to form faith. Faith is likely to be “rule based” with strong identification with a particular group/church.

Individuative-Reflective – Davidic Covenant and Prophetic Movement – Jesus’ Ministry and Death – Awareness of Other Faiths Persons develop skills for dealing with theirs and others faith and ideas.
 King David’s ambassadors bring other cultural ideas to Israel (Solomon’s wives).
 Jesus’ ministry challenges the social, economic and religious practices of contemporary Judaism. (Parable of the Good Samaritan – Be a Jew, but act like a Samaritan.)
 The follower becomes aware of, examines, and deals with the contradictions and ramifications of other faiths and beliefs.

Conjunctive Faith – Sabbath - Messianic Promise – Death, Resurrection, Ascension, and Final Return of Jesus – Reconciliation of Faith
 Emotional, behavioral, societal and religious opposites and contradictions meet and are reconciled.
 Israel’s concept of the Sabbath is the weekly meeting in the presence of God for prayer and thought.
 Jesus’ death, Resurrection, Ascension and Return are the ultimate reconciliation of all Creation.
 The follower’s faith insists on humility, based on the fact that the grasp on ultimate truth that any tradition can offer needs continual correction and challenge. The follower may also acknowledge that paradox and apparent contradictions are intrinsic to that truth. Deep faith to a particular tradition, with openness to the truths of other traditions.

Universalizing Faith – Eschaton - Eternal Kingdom
 Oneness with God. Possible tension with the religious system as consciousness and commitments, love and loyalties conflict.
 Jesus’ exists as the eternal ultimate reality, the Reconciler of all things.
 The follower experiences a “radical decentration of self,” widening inclusiveness of the circle that counts as “neighbors”. The follower experiences a radical shift in values as a detachment from causes, institutions, persons and posessions is replaces with love for the Creator. Manifests the fruits of “kenosis,” the “pouring out” or emptying of self. Total and pervasive response to God’s love.
 Fowler suggest that a very small percentage of people actually attain this level of faith. He suggest Gandhi as an example.

"God will not suffer man to have the knowledge of things to come; for if he had prescience of his prosperity he would be careless; and understanding of his adversity he would be senseless."

You are Augustine! You love to study tough issues and don't mind it if you lose sleep over them. Everyone loves you and wants to talk to you and hear your views, you even get things like "nice debating with you." Yep, you are super smart, even if you are still trying to figure it all out. You're also very honest, something people admire, even when you do stupid things.

What theologian are you?

A creation of Henderson

Well, not everyone loves me.....

Taken from the inner walls of one of the concentration camps in Nazi Germany at the end of the Second World War, this prayer was scratched by an unknown hand:

O Lord, when I shall come with glory into your kingdom, do not remember only the men of good will;
remember also the men of evil. May they be remembered not only for their acts of cruelty in this camp, the evil they done to us prisoners, but balance against their cruelty the fruits we have reaped under the stress and in the pain; the comradeship, the courage, the greatness of heart, the humility and patience which have been born in us and become part of our lives, because we have suffered at their hands.

May the memory of us not be a nightmare to them when they stand in judgment.
May all that we have suffered be acceptable to you as a ransom for them.

And then the writing concluded, "Unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and die..."

This is joy and suffering; this is the love of God and neighbor.

Excerpt for Fowler's "Becoming Adult, Becoming Christian."

Individualism Continued

I could go into a long diatribe about individualism and how I believe it influences our perceptions of what church is and what it means to be a Christian, but I don’t think most people care. This is one of those topics that us abstract thinkers like to ponder though. I think most people would agree that we live in a “me first” culture, and that we all have been influenced to some extent, especially in our Western culture, by individualism.

For instance, I have had times of tremendous individual spiritual growth as the result of prayer, solitude, fasting, study and meditation. These were done in a private matter, for my own benefit as an individual, between God and me. This growth may, or may not have had any influence on the community as a whole. I am implying that faith is both an inward and an outward journey.

I could say, salvation begins with an individual decision, but then implies an ecclesial responsibility that transcends self-interest. I’m not sure if that is an accurate statement either, because salvation didn’t begin with me, but with God and has been communicated to me through the stories, actions, and history of the Community of Believers.

There is a tension between the individual and the community. As a Christian in a community, and as a community full of Christians, each has an obligation to influence the other for the common good (God’s Kingdom Come). Interdependence doesn’t happen without dependence. Interdependence doesn’t happen without independence either.

A practical example that I’ve experienced is interpreting Scripture, or prophecy. I have felt that God is showing me something specifically from His word. I have chosen to share that with friends that are the journey and they have pointed out other interpretations, or things that I may have missed. Sometimes I find out that I am COMPLETELY mistaken, other times I find out I’m on the right track. Sometimes there is no agreement. Any action that I take on my interpretation has consequences in the larger community, so I submit my interpretation to them and they hold me accountable for the actions I take as a result. I can take action on what I perceive to be the Holy Spirit, which may be off-base, because I am not perfect, or I can take action on what I perceive to be the Holy Spirit informed by the community.

Is the community always right? Probably not. But there are people with more wisdom than me, people who are farther along on the journey of faith, people with more experience than me, people with more knowledge than me, and other people who are also trying to listen to the Holy Spirit that can inform me as I seek to listen to the Spirit.

As part of your journey try reading about St. Patrick today! What a great story of how God can use our circumstances for His glory! I first learned the real story in college when we read The Celtic Way of Evangelism by George Hunter. That's a great book too! It got me really interested in Celtic Christianity.

Patrick of Ireland
...was not Irish. He was a British Celt, first enslaved in Ireland as a teen, later a missionary to Ireland.
...was not necessarily the first missionary to Ireland.
No one knows his birth or death date. 17 March is traditionally considered to be one of the two, but there is no documentation for this.
The only documents about Patrick are his Confession and a letter he wrote to Coroticus.
There were never snakes---or other reptiles---in Ireland for Patrick to chase out.
Patrick predates the Roman Catholic Church, and was considered a "saint'' before the Roman church created its canon of saints (and added him to it).

Why participate in Lent?

My friend George asks some good questions: "Do the things we give up for Lent bring God closer to us? Or is it a thing that makes us feel as though we are closer to Him? I guess my question is what difference does it make?"

Traditionally, Lent is a time to focus deeply on, and relive the death and resurrection of Jesus, as well as my own "death and resurrection," and typically is a time of repentance. Additionally, it is a link to part of our Christian heritage where I can participate in a tradition that precedes me.

On a personal level I participate in "fasting" because Jesus did it, and assumes we will keep doing it (Mat. 6:17). We chose to do this type of fast becuase our whole family could participate in a shared experience. The hunger/craving reminds me that I should hunger for God above all other things. It reminds me that Jesus is the Living Bread.

I don't think God can get any closer to me than he already is, but I can always open my life to him more. I think that's the purpose of any of the disciplines. I discipline my body because it houses my spirit/soul. On a deep level, I can't change myself, but God can, and participating in the disciplines puts me in a place where God can do His work. So, for me, the issue isn't whether I "feel closer" to Him, but if participating in Lent helps me be transformed into Christ-likeness.

Anyone else participating in Lent? Or, have a different point of view?

Thanks for all of the input on individualism and the Christian. I have some more thoughts that I'll share later on the topic. I will take the criticism that "Emerging Church" was not the right term to be used. Please forgive me.... :-( My bad.

In other news...We have been having some real good times of fellowship with some people in our little town. God seems to be moving in some ways that certainly weren't expected. After Lent we are going to open our house up on Friday nights for the bruthas and sistas to hang out. We're waiting until after Lent because we live in a largely Catholic town, and a lot of our friends are former Catholics that still go to the fish fry. I personally like fish anyway!

We have given up one of our family favorite things (addiction?) for Lent. This is the first time we have really participated in Lent by sacrificing something. In addition, I'm going to help with an all-nighter for some teenagers on Maundy Thursday. We are staying up all night, fasting, meditating, reading Scripture and I'm sure some fun will be thrown in somewhere, then we will attend the community Good Friday service (I'm supposed to sing, so I hope I have a voice left after that!). I really look forward to participating in the Passion in this way.

Radical Individualism and the Christian

A great conversation/debate with some brothers in Christ about accountability, individualism and relativism in Christianity has caused me to think and rethink some views about the EmergingMissionalRelationalHouse Church movement that I have been moving toward, and explains some of my hesitancy in jumping in with both feet. I am going to try to be objective and look at these issues from a distance in an attempt to sort them out for myself.

I want to preface everything that I say here by saying that I am still working through these issues in my own mind. I may cause as many questions as I ask, but I believe these issues are vitally important for the Body of Christ. I believe that our relationship to each other and our understanding of truth and reality is of utmost importance. I hope we can give each other grace as we discuss and not get into semantics. Some of us will take offense to certain terms that may be used as the best way to express an idea in our limited vocabulary.

There are strains of the Emerging Church movement (Please give me some grace on the term used here. If you know a better word to describe, I’ll use it!) that appears to be based on anti-intellectual, radical individualism. I define individualism as an excessive or exclusive regard to one's personal interest. In other words, the self becomes primary in our decision making, worldview, interpretation, and belief system giving little or no thought to the community. Personal autonomy is exalted as the ideal source for interpretation and understanding.

Emerging churches seem to be formed when an individual decides either decides that their needs are not getting met at the institutional church, or that the institutional church’s priorities have become convoluted and no longer represent God’s kingdom. There seems to be a third reason that people are leaving the institutional church that I am just becoming familiar with, namely, to escape any vestige of authority or tradition so that one may focus on “only Jesus.” I’m sure there are other reasons that Emerging Churches start, but these seem to be common themes. Additionally, I am not saying that Emerging Church movement as a whole, nor that every Emerging Church is individualistic. I find it ironic that some have left the institutional church due issues caused by individualism only to further entrench themselves in deeper levels of individualism

The third reason for leaving the institutional church is most disturbing. Some of the comments, specifically or implied, that seem typical from people in this strain of the movement things like: “Two or three people gathering together make a church.” “I am not accountable to any man, only Jesus.” “I am the sole judge of what is right and wrong in my spiritual life.” I don’t believe I have any obligations to anyone other than Jesus.” “My heart, being confirmed by the Spirit is the ultimate judge of correct Biblical interpretation.”

I am not judging anybody here, but I am trying to be discerning about the underlying beliefs, and the ramifications of the comments that were made.

The issues brought up by these statements are many and varied and certainly cannot be dealt with in one blog entry (Individualism and Collectivism, Interpretation of Scripture, How we know truth, Obligation of the Christian etc.). But, it appears to me, at the heart of these statements is a kind of radical individualism that seems to be the ultimate extreme in the Emerging Church movement. The underlying motivation for leaving the institutional church is not to reestablish a proper Kingdom focus, or get needs met, but to interpret Scripture in an unaccountable, anti-intellectual way in the guise of following “Jesus only.” I could be wrong about the motivation, but the end result is the same.

So, here is my first question on this topic. Is there anyway among individualist Christians, in an individualist culture, that we can be accountable for our beliefs, teachings, interpretations and practices?

Some will say that is the concept of “mutual submission.” We are told to submit to each other, that is a given. Mutual submission is part of the “check and balance” for us as individuals. But, the issue is, that when that command is put into the context of radical individualism there is no real accountability. If I teach a view that is contrary to tradition and reason, and those that I willingly submit to challenge my interpretation, I can “pick up my toys and play with somebody else.” In fact, I would argue that the only real option for the Christian individualist is to find those that agree with his point of view and create an enclave of likeminded individuals.

We’ve seen it hundreds of times in the formation of new denominations, church splits, and now the Emerging Church. Denominationalism has its problems, but it did provide some sort of accountability for pastors/preachers/teachers.

Isolation is the ultimate result of individualism. We surround ourselves with a few likeminded individuals, and because they agree with us on our beliefs/interpretation/practice we feel that we are justified. I am not suggesting that every Emerging Church is doing this, but you have to admit that it is possible. Judging from some of the conversations in Blogdom I would say that it is definitely happening.

How are we dealing with this issue? Is there an answer? Is there another option other than the individualistic point of view? Is there any objectivity in the Church, or is everything subjective? Is there a difference between our concept of community and a lifestyle enclave? Is there a balance to be found between individualism and collectivism? How are these issues worked out practically?

I would love to hear your thoughts on this subject....There’s a lot more to be discussed about these issues....

Great Discussion

There is a great discussion going on at George's Blog about church, individualism and accountability. Between that, school work, church and family it's a full load!

I Am Proud...

I can say, maybe for the first time since moving here, that I am proud of our church. There is a little girl in our community that was born without the frontal lobes of her brain. She can't walk, talk, or really do much of anything. The mom and dad found out about some therapy in Philly that could help her. One of our small group leaders heard about the need and planned a spaghetti dinner fund raiser in two weeks. It was so cool to see him passionately pursuing mission! There were so many people helping out, each doing there thing.... I would say that between 400-500 people showed up! For our little town, I would say that is pretty amazing! We offered up some music while people stood in line and sat eating their food. It was fun to do some kid songs too. One of the few times I get to cut loose!

We have been extremely busy lately....School, Church, Family, House Rehab....

I have been reading Becoming Adult, Becoming Christian by James W. Fowler for my Worldview class. Last night I got to Fowler's theory of the stages of Faith Development. I was totally floored by what I found! I'll do my best to sum up the stages and focus a little more on the last two. I believe this has tremendous implications for the church, and may explain why some of us feel like we have to leave the institutional church in order to continue our spiritual journey/growth.

Mythic-Literal Faith - About age 6 or 7 (some teens and adults). Story/Narrative is the important idea in this stage. Knowing the stories of our people becomes important in the child's identity. Know what they believe, but cannot distance themselves from the belief to critically analyze the meanings.

Synthetic-Conventional Faith - Early Adolescence (Some adults). The God of moral reciprocity dies and must be replaces. They begin to understand that good things happen to bad people etc. Feelings of anguish, struggle, guilt and grief are typical. Begin to systematically integrate beliefs and identity. Their faith is strongly embedded, but identity is primarily derived from "face-to-face" relations. Move on through life with a set of strongly held/felt beliefs that are largely unexamined.

Individuative-Reflective Faith - Person is forced to examine, objectify and make critical choices about defining elements of their faith. Critical choosing of beliefs, values, and commitments. Rethinking of roles and relationships. A person may be "stuck" between this stage and the previous if they rethink their faith, but take no action.

Conjunctive Faith - Usually midlife and beyond. Person begins to come to terms with certain patterns of behavior that may never be fully changed. Death becomes more of reality. Acknowledge paradox and apparent contradictions of different perspectives on truth. "A postcritical receptivity and readiness for participation in the reality brought to expression in symbol and myth." " Exhibits a committed belief in the truth claims of a particular tradition, insists on the humility that knows that the grasp on ultimate truth that any of our traditions can offer needs continual correction and challenge...to help overcome blindspots....and tendencies toward idolatry." Combines deep, particular commitments with principled openness to the truths of other traditions. Combines loyalty to ones own primary community with loyalty to the reality of a community of communities. "They know that the line between the righteous and the sinner goes through the heart of each of us and our communities, rather than between "us and them."

Universalizing Faith - Lives in the tension caused by consciousness and commitment. Person sees the "corruption and vulnerability of the old regime, even as they can also see and rejoice in the possibility of a new order, one more replete with a balance of equality and justice, of inclusion and corporate devotion to the common good. They have attachments and commitments that make revolutionary alignment too costly and frightening to entertain. So they live divided, in tension, working for amelioration (improve) and evolution toward justice, but deeply aware of their own implication in the unjust structures that they oppose." "The polarities in its loves and loyalties can cancel each other out." Because their wills, affections and actions create tension, division and disunity they feel a cosmic homelessness and loneliness. Begin to manifest an "emptying of self" as the result of having ones affections drawn from the finite centers of value and power to the infinite center of power and value. The attachment to causes, persons, institutions, possessions etc. that have protected our identities and values are relinquished for a "response in love and trust to the radical love of God."

When I read this the light bulb went off in my head. I'm not crazy. I'm not having a crisis. I'm not depressed. I am in the tension of moving to a different stage of faith. This guy describes so well the tension I feel between my love for God and the loyalty to the institution that I am a part of. The separation from the sources of power that have given me self-worth/identity for the God who is truly power, and the reason I have worth and an identity. The separation and loneliness.

I believe this faith development theory also has implications for the church. Fowler believes that the Universalizing Faith is a way of "being and moving, a way of being on pilgrimage," not necessarily something to attain. We live this life by cooperating with the Spirit. Kind of sounds like Dallas Willard's stuff. It's easy to see why so few people live this way. The institutional church has a vested interest in keeping people's affections linked to the church, rather than moving to a Universalizing Faith where their affections would be on God. I am wondering if SimpleMissionalHouse Church is simply a movement of people who are trying to live a life of Universalizing Faith and have found a way to remove the "divided tension" that they experience in the institutional church.

We had a great time Friday night with some friends with whom we needed to reconcile. What a great time of just hanging out and talking about Kingdom stuff. Much needed! These are folks that we feel deeply connected too because God has us on similar journeys, even though we are very different people.

God calls us to community because we have Christ in common, but the practicalities of that are sometimes hard to work out. When your parenting style, political affiliation, denomination, views of community, views of mission, goals etc. are so different, true agape love must come in to play. Nothing, but the glue of singleminded focus on Christ will hold the pieces together. Isn't that the beauty of what Christ did with the disciples? He took twelve guys from radically different socioeconomic and political backgrounds (fishermen, tax collector, zealot), and taught them the Kingdom for three years....